Destruction
The Least Successful Human Cannonball


1.5
very poor

Review

by ChaoticVortex USER (63 Reviews)
October 13th, 2016 | 24 replies


Release Date: 1998 | Tracklist

Review Summary: From thrash metal heroes, to groove metal zeroes.

The 90’s is often regarded as a dark and sad time for many metal fans, as many of their favorite bands have either lost the spotlight, split up or changed their sound drastically (and often times not for the better) in order to survive in the changing musical scene. Of course we have to view things in more than one perspective. Times and music always change, and while classic heavy metal and thrash may have been swept away by the grunge/alternative movement, the underground flourished with many exciting bands and there was one group who managed to lead the way with their pure, unfiltered aggression: Pantera.

Pantera is certainly a band that does not need any introduction, as their unique, heavy and instantly recognizable sound made them a pioneer of what we consider groove metal. Detuned, rugged, sludgy riffing rooting in blues and thrash which became the foundation of many younger metal bands to follow. Which brings us to Destruction. The leading Teutonic thrash bands all had different ways to cope with the changes that the new decade brought. Kreator choose experimentation, Sodom choose punk, Tankard choose loyalty and Destruction choose emulation. You can guess which one of them came out the worst results.

After “Cracked Brain”, the band went on hiatus for a couple of years before reforming in a new line-up (as Neo-Destruction), and instead of the fast paced, intense and biting thrash riffing, guitarist Mike Sifringer and his buddies decided to become full-fledged, shameless trend hoppers by trying to adapt Pantera’s style, right down to the guitar sound and riff patterning. Except they didn’t possessed the flavors and substance Dimebag Darrel had. This resulted four years of chuga-chuga groove metal wankery with two hideous, god-awful EP’s, all culminating in an album that is pretty much the embodiment of second-hand embarrassment.

The best way to describe the music here is a nightmarish, jumbled mess that tries to shine as unique by mixing stuff that just simply doesn’t match. The opener “Formless, Faceless, Nameless” is a schizophrenic void that tries to match the dense and tight Machine Head-like riffs with jazzy pop bass and some Mike Patton-like scream vocals. Confused yet? Well the rest of the album doesn’t give you the lifebuoy either. The band aimlessly throw idea after idea into the songs, from groove metal, to some degree of thrash, to funk, to prog rock, to some industrial and God knows what else. Sure some of the riff manage to stick but either they are buried by the bad ones, or simply fall flat by the execution.

Crappy breakdown section slapped in between a few fairly decent groovy riffs on “Tick On A Tree”, over 2 minutes of aimless clean guitar meandering before getting to the point and not having much of one on “Cellar Soul”, oddball aboriginal chanting at the beginning of “Continental Drift I” and a couple of really lame slap bass interludes, just to mention a few. The band is so busy on the whole record, none of the song manage to come off as consistent or cohesive, as if they can’t even decide what kind of music they want to play. However some of the riffworks does manage to hit the mark like the furious swirling of “263 Dead Popes” or the mid-tempo precision of “Continental Drift II”. In fact with a better guitar tone, some selection and Schimer’s possible presence I feel most of the songs could have been salvageable.

However the vocals by Thomas Rosenmerkel pretty much drives the stake through any of these hopes. His incessant, overbearing inflections and Phil Anselmo-wannabe, “don’t-***-with-me” mannerisms are some of the most laughable, try-hard and just downright abysmal vocal vomits I’ve had the misfortune to hear. It’s rare to witness a case where one group member can pretty much destroy the minimal effort that the others could sweat out, and this is one of those times. What’s even worse, some of Rosenmerkel’s delivery shows very clear signs that he’s a more classically-trained singer, who has been forced into a position where he can’t properly function.

For all of its good intentions, “The Least Successful Human Cannonball” is a boring, messy and sometimes downright cringe-inducing example of failed experimentation and ambulance-chasing, a fate certainly no worthy for these guys. Fortunately the light appeared at the end of this dark tunnel, as two years later vocalist/frontman Schmier returned and the band corrected the path with releases like “All Hell Breaks Loose” and “The Anitchrist”. Leaving this record and mid 90’s Destruction to be beaten to death with spiked baseball bats and buried six feet down, like a nasty family secret, that no one should know about.



Recent reviews by this author
Blind Guardian The God MachineAghora Entheogenic Frequencies
Monster Magnet TabThanatos Violent Death Rituals
Warhead (BE) SpeedwayTarget (BE) Mission Executed
user ratings (139)
1.7
very poor


Comments:Add a Comment 
ChaoticVortex
October 13th 2016


1569 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

I didn't had the slighest intentions to review this stinker, but I had a pretty rough couple of days, with some bad mood swings and stress, and I felt like destroying something.



As always any constructive criticisms are welcome.

jpjpablo
December 11th 2016


39 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

This album is so sad.

gocsa666
April 29th 2017


470 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

This gets so much hate because it's Destruction. Otherwise this is like a mediocre thing, not THAT terrible as most people make it out to be.

Doctuses
March 29th 2018


1914 Comments


this is queef

Mister Twister
May 3rd 2018


2721 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

the least successful destruction album

Allergist
July 11th 2018


1079 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

This is bad even for groove metal though. It comes off as a parody of groove metal that was accidentally marketed as serious. The only semi-decent riff on this whole thing is the very first riff on the opening track, and it's still not that great. Every single song is clunky, forgettable, and void of flowing structure, almost like they tried writing progjazz but it's all 4/4 with zero understanding of music theory. And the vocals are the worst I’ve ever heard in metal, ever.



No, this album is not hated because of the Destruction name. It's hated because it's just that awful.

Get Low
November 9th 2018


14104 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

This album title along with the art legitimately made me laugh out loud.

Source
November 9th 2018


19917 Comments


Indeed. What even is this

Casavir
November 9th 2018


5634 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

I'll tell you what it is. Bad.

Source
November 9th 2018


19917 Comments


I believe you

Get Low
January 24th 2019


14104 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

Secretly Casavir's favorite album. He jams this every night when he's in his pajamas and air-guitars to all the sick riffs before his mom makes him go to bed.

Viriathus
January 24th 2019


3570 Comments


One Day im gonna try this one out to see how bad it is.

Get Low
January 24th 2019


14104 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

I listened to the first track out of curiosity and it wasn't the worst thing I've ever heard. Not good by any means though.

Mister Twister
January 26th 2019


2721 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

wait until you get to 263 Dead Popes

Davil667
September 3rd 2019


4042 Comments


Lol I really enjoyed this one, some decent tracks on here. Don't get the low ratings...

parksungjoon
May 6th 2020


46886 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

> One Day im gonna try this one out to see how bad it is.



its st anger 5 years before st anger basically, but chuggier and with more annoying vocals

Source
May 6th 2020


19917 Comments


need to check

















Get Low
June 3rd 2021


14104 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

unironically good

Mister Twister
June 4th 2021


2721 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

more like unironically bad

TheAntichrist
January 11th 2022


4053 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

that funky bass can't save this travesty



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2023 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy