Blood on the Dance Floor
Cruel Pornography


5.0
classic

Review

by Jennifer22 USER (4 Reviews)
March 18th, 2016 | 51 replies


Release Date: 08/08/2015 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Well I mean, it's not Bach but it's something

When I heard that Blood on the Dance Floor was coming back; I was ecstatic. The feeling was comparable to when Martin Shkreli acquired the greatest piece of African American history that no-one would ever hear. Of course, being an objective critic of a critiquing nature I went in hoping to objectively critique; boy did that assumption slap me over the bed like a ferret on an ecstasy binge. I was completely taken aback by some of the harsh tones and controversial material presented throughout this release.

Opening with the first track “Sexually Explicit”, we discover that Blood on the Dance Floor is Sexually Explicit; the song contains lots of lines that are indeed, sexually explicit. You could hear some vocals in there from some teen dude with some claps and harsh buzz-saw electronics but that’s another story for another paragraph. “The Sexorcist” is where the band really kicks into gear, playing guitars with chord arrangements and playing drums with sticks. It kind of sounds like Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People” tuned up a point and a half and converted to Garage Band; it’s quite alluring. Apparently the dude’s name is Dahvie and he likes to sing about sex; well I mean his voice isn’t really that good but it entertained me more than my spouse did so I’m going to assume he’s actually incredibly talented, in lieu of confronting my mental instabilities.

They really like taking romantic aural walks with Industrial influences don’t they" Apparently there’s some other dude named Jayy Von Monroe on here who just kind of sits there behind walls of audio production and looped guitar riffs with a basic Reaper tone filter. Coulda sworn Marilyn Manson popped in again but I’m pretty sure that’s just the title track’s chorus" Let’s check up one what we have so far; Manson, Industrial, Lyrics about what you’re not supposed to do until matrimony, Garage Band, Loops. I mean, what else could you want" Oh wait now he’s singing about some Trent Reznor kind of kinks right here.

“My girl's got a stiff upper lip
She begs for more 'cause she can handle it
You know I like it, baby give me tighter grip
Torture excites me, make it so I can't resist”


Well it’s definitely not Shakespeare but it has me in shambles so I guess that’s pretty classic right" Who knows, but I’m pretty sure due to the multi-verse theory some other me is enjoying this right now, so that’s enough to justify me giving this a hard 5/5. I mean don’t blame me if you waste your time, but I’m campaigning for this EP a fair bit since I don’t really have much else to do with my time and I mean I guess it's better than my 4th grade talent show audition so that's something.


user ratings (22)
Chart.
1.5
very poor

Comments:Add a Comment 
Jennifer22
March 18th 2016


294 Comments


Bye approval rating
I'm gonna miss you, but alcohol is a thing
Oh yeah here's one of the tracks - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZmTflWmQFA

ScuroFantasma
Staff Reviewer
March 18th 2016


11704 Comments


Entertaining write-up.

Digging: Jean-Michel Jarre - Oxygene

LoLifant
March 18th 2016


1535 Comments


Oh it's just the album title...thought it was a news and this guy finally gets locked up.

Jennifer22
March 18th 2016


294 Comments


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cB9Jl6oLLxI
"One time I kicked a guy out of my house cause his dick tasted like glue" (11 minutes in)

CaliggyJack
March 18th 2016


2826 Comments


Awesome joke review, my sides are in orbit!

pos'd

elliootsmeuth
March 18th 2016


3713 Comments


lmao good shit

Shuyin
March 18th 2016


13500 Comments


Album probably sucks more dicks than a Dutch prostitute during summer

Digging: Deathspell Omega - The Furnaces of Palingenesia

dfevil085
March 18th 2016


1466 Comments


My heart goes out to those who sat through this whole album

Essence
March 18th 2016


6277 Comments


damn, this review reads like something I might have written, awesome job


BHAR
March 18th 2016


231 Comments


A 5? Oh sheet

Artuma
March 18th 2016


30601 Comments


ctrl+f "i mean" damn

idk if it's good when in every other sentence you need to explain something in other words to get your point across

Digging: Inter Arma - Sulphur English

SitarHero
Contributing Reviewer
March 18th 2016


9857 Comments


WT Actual F?! Was expecting troll account trying to feign earnestness or troll account failing to be ironic but this was...what was this?! I'm actually kind of amused. Pos.

Mort.
Contributing Reviewer
March 18th 2016


14311 Comments


^

cringe

Digging: Tera Melos - Untitled

torts
March 18th 2016


4300 Comments


user SitarHero with a quality comment

Mort.
Contributing Reviewer
March 18th 2016


14311 Comments


WT ACTUAL F

Spacesh1p
March 18th 2016


7685 Comments


Take note OK Computer troll review, this is quality.

Essence
March 18th 2016


6277 Comments


i think that guy would have to take a lot of notes before he got anywhere close to this

zaruyache
March 18th 2016


21010 Comments


what sh1p said. also pos'd.

Digging: Imha Tarikat - Kara Ihlas

Tunaboy45
March 18th 2016


16750 Comments


now this is how you do a troll review

Digging: The National - I Am Easy to Find

Judio!
March 18th 2016


8451 Comments


Review sucks


WT ACTUAL F



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // SITE FORUM // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2017 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy