Charli XCX
Vroom Vroom


1.0
awful

Review

by MercuryToHell CONTRIBUTOR (43 Reviews)
March 1st, 2016 | 270 replies


Release Date: 2016 | Tracklist

Review Summary: X = wrong answer.

Unashamed. Unhinged. Party girl. Kawaii. Independent.

I’m sure Charli XCX was imagining the headlines and accolades being thrown in her direction when she thought up the concept and aesthetic of this E.P - and in her defence, she’s clearly very comfortable in this role, as essentially, she ‘jus’ don’t give a ***’. Which is fine, and almost admirable in the way that she’s experimenting with her style when another ‘True Romance’ or ‘Sucker’ would invariably be lapped up. So you go girl, branch out a little. But before showering her in too much praise, she would do well to remember first and foremost she is a musician, not a nightmarish cheerleader.

Vroom Vroom is a quick breeze through four disconnected pop tracks, all produced by fellow British knob-twiddler SOPHIE, known for some pretty messy but endearing singles which were compiled on the excellent Product collection towards the end of 2015. So the signs aren’t even all that bad. Unfortunately any promise is ruined by every single second of the twelve-minute runtime.

The overawing immaturity of the record is best summed up in the refrain of the title track, when she drops the ‘bitches know they can’t catch me’ line: rather than conjuring up the intended image of being ahead of the game, leading the way in a classy sports car, it’s just all so annoying that it has more in common with a small child pinching a disinterested adult and running away with a false sense of accomplishment. The track itself is a constant bounce between bubblegum rap and saccharine choruses that never sit together comfortably, and always jump from one to the other just when theres a threat of cohesion. ‘Paradise’ follows and is a sickeningly sweet trek through bargain basement happy hardcore which, barring a couple of unique stylistic choices on the production, sounds like a bedroom recording from a 12-year-old YouTube wannabe with one too many Britney Spears posters. ‘Trophy’ is essentially a slightly harder version of the opener, dropping all the sweet-girl pretensions of the first two tracks, and overall sounding like a rebellious pep rally, interspersed (dreadfully) with a ‘Pulp Fiction’ quote - no prizes for guessing which one. The only vaguely passable track here is the closer ‘Secret (Shhh)’, which is far from surprising given that it’s the only actual song (in conventional terms): it’s almost subtle in places, and Charli’s harmonious vocals on the chorus are actually quite inviting.

Where this record had a little potential, Charli XCX is unattractively desperate to be seen as edgy, and while this is nothing new in pop history, the fact that she has branched out on her own and set up a new label with this as the centrepiece is almost unforgivable. Even more baffling is that this is solely being put out under her own name, giving no credit to the production, which is undeniably SOPHIE: wonky beats, trippy, jagged synths, like a ‘crunked’ version of a Dance Dance Revolution game, but this only contributes as a further downside. Where the SOPHIE singles had an element of anonymity and intrigue in their minimalism, here the production only provides a platform for XCX to drown out anything of any worth underneath her.

This really is a painful listen, and for her sake and that of the listener, the saving grace is that it’s only an E.P, as a full-length album would really go some way to damaging her career. Charli, the experiment failed.



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user ratings (197)
Chart.
3.1
good

Comments:Add a Comment 
MercuryToHell
Contributing Reviewer
March 1st 2016


1336 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

This is the first review I've done for something I truly hated, and it was difficult to stay within the lines a bit.

Constructive criticism appreciated as always!

DoofusWainwright
March 1st 2016


19991 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Lol @ that sweet cover art



Charli gonna win the Cannonball Run eat ma dust

wtferrothorn
March 1st 2016


5800 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Not a fan at all. Some of SOPHIE's most lackluster beats to date on here.

Lord(e)Po)))ts
March 1st 2016


43138 Comments


dat album cover

Cygnatti
March 1st 2016


32791 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

considering this and "boom clap" she seems to be a huge fan of onomatopoeia

wtferrothorn
March 1st 2016


5800 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

(Shh)

LotusFlower
March 1st 2016


12001 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Excellent review, I especially love the first two paragraphs.

LotusFlower
March 1st 2016


12001 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

"This album could change the sound of pop music” - Charli XCX on her upcoming third LP exactly 29 days ago

klap
Staff Reviewer
March 1st 2016


12114 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Sucker ruled, this is terrible

LotusFlower
March 1st 2016


12001 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Boom Clap is still a continual jam for me, but I never took the time to listen to Sucker

MercuryToHell
Contributing Reviewer
March 1st 2016


1336 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

I've never struggled so hard to make it through 12 sodding minutes.

LotusFlower
March 1st 2016


12001 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

I thought the production on Vroom Vroom and that last track were pretty good, just because i like off the wall/gritty EDM sounding garbage. But Charli making fucking car noises ruined pretty much any chance of me liking anything on this EP.

DoofusWainwright
March 1st 2016


19991 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

She actually makes car noises on this? Well that changes everything



I'm hyped, top fetish.

Tyler.
March 1st 2016


16869 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

I bet this rules

LotusFlower
March 1st 2016


12001 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

yeah, on the self titled track. She starts making engine revving sounds and goes beep beep in some kinda tone thats supposed to sound sexy or cute or something.

DoofusWainwright
March 1st 2016


19991 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

I bet it oils my pistons

hal1ax
March 1st 2016


13621 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

need 2 chek

Sinternet
March 1st 2016


19402 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

do I dare waste 12 minutes of my day or is there any kind of comedic value to this

Digging: Peggy Gou - Moment

LotusFlower
March 1st 2016


12001 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Charli trying to sound sexy while making car noises is pretty funny, but nothing else here is worth your time.

oltnabrick
March 1st 2016


36771 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

this is not that bad



sophies done better though

Digging: Sun Ra - Jazz in Silhouette



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