Review Summary: We *Are Just Kids
You know you've stooped to lowly status when your ex guitarist calls you a "disgusting human being." Emmure's most recent release stands undeservedly as an amalgamation of a monotonous nu metal sensibility that wears on you the more you give it unwarranted attention. An incessant drumbeat of misogyny and homophobia is the bedrock of this record, and those three things combined cannot rival the fact that's it genuine. Following 2012's Slave to the Game, Emmure returns with an album that depicts now standalone frontman Frankie Palmeri as nothing short of a complete asshole.
'Eternal Enemies' only takes a matter of a few seconds before it abandons all pretense and flushes itself right down the toilet. 'Bring A Gun to School' immeditately establishes the penchant this album embodies; furthermore, the album is horrendous, if totally effective in its intentions to make you cringe. Palmeri spews out lines that would be better suited as lifelfess filler than as the main talking point ("Get it through your f***ing head!/All your friends are f***ing dead!/Yeah they got what they deserved!/Stop acting hard you know it hurts!.") Now, as much as I will gladly excuse a band for being edgy and trying to be cool, belittling societal issues like school shootings is not cool, Frankie. I know I play a bit of devil's advocate here, ladies and gentlemen, but mockery of serious incidents where innocent blood is shed is not the way to be edgy and furthermore, annoys me to the point that it almost enrages me. This kind of abhorrent immaturity makes Chris Fronzak look all grown up.
'Girls Don't Like Boys, Girls Like 40s and Blunts' is another blatant effort by Palmeri to tote around like that douche faced kid on the schoolyard that beats kids up for their lunch money. Whereas the last track we discussed belittles school shootings, 'Girls Don't Like Boys..' defames and stereotypes girls as Palmeri tells the listener, a girl in this instance, that he will rape her with drugs and sex. Yeah, because even actual sluts want to be told that.
'E' is lazy, in execution and in essence. While titled appropriately enough, seeing as none of the abhorrent lyrics in the song would make a good title, the song itself is a sloppy mess of nu metal sensibile record scratches and dance beats while Frankie tells the listener to "get up and bounce" because he knows "nothing at all." 'The Hang Up' starts off as one of those typical songs you'd normally hear in metalcore where the listener is told to not give opinions because the singer doesn't care, but within seconds, the song quickly morphs into another asinine disposition, where Frankie manages to call himself the "realest mother***er in the game", prompt the listener to kill themselves and call the listener(s) "faggots" all in one go. All of that in one song? Sign me up....to jump out of an airplane with a piano strapped to my back.
'We Were Just Kids', as you can imagine by my summary, needs to be renamed. And rewritten. And just omitted overall. Frankie attempts to me more introspective with the track, but after the abominations the listener has just been insulted with, Frankie is far past the point of forgiveness. Frankie admits to playing the victim and making up excuses. Well, Frankie, even the lamest excuses couldn't justify the following; homophobia, misogyny, telling people to kill themselves, mocking school shootings, arrogance, and when it comes to the actual music, an outright and systematic attempt to relate to all those factions, looking like the ultimate poser as he does so. Prior to hearing this record, which was somehow recommended (??) to me, I had heard terrible music. Just never terrible music this earnest and genuine in its intentions. Never this sincere with its insincerity. This was recommended to me by a friend. That same friend received a similar recommendation. I think I'll end the cycle and not suggest this to anyone. Unless you want to have your ears murdered, write a review about it, and then watch the band's fans flock to the comments section and tell you to suck their f**ks.
