Review Summary: Fuck you Cheryl.
Alright Cheryl, let's get it out of the way shall we" No seriously, consider this my rebuttal to the bullshit you've been spreading around town about me. It's not like we did have anything special right" I am sure it was all an accident right" I am positive he tripped and accidentally fell on your pussy. It's all just a fucking coincidence.
You remind me a lot of Never Forget Death
, Whitehouse's album that was released in 1992. After Twice is Not Enough
, Steve Albini decided not to help out the production of this album, just like when you decided to leave me high and dry at the horse races because you can't stand to be around your dad for too long; so you had me sit there for an hour listening to him babble on about Muslims and cigars for the whole fucking thing. The result was an album that could have been better, like you in bed.
I mean, starting off with the first track we have Never Forget Death
, a throwback to the early days of Birthdeath Experience
. William would bring out the distorted noises and grinding all the while screaming endlessly. He kind of reminds me of your Ex; and don't give me that shit of "You don't understand him." When you date a guy known as the "White River" because he got caught masturbating at a Starbucks at two in the morning, there is nothing anybody wants to understand.
Then we hit Now Is The Time
, bringing in some recording distortion with William yelling. This track is even poorer than the first track, but it's still fucking better than you. Yes Cheryl, I know you went crying all the way to David's house about how I was treating you like shit, then you got surprised when David told you to fuck off three days later. You still wonder how he found out you were lying" Easy; I showed him my bank account you gold-digging sycophant. Like you, Now Is The Time
should have been better than it actually was, but Will deliberately chose not to make it better.
Moving onto the longest track on the album Asking For It
; we are given a much heavier distortion with some added synth noises. I did appreciate the album's return to a short amount of longer tracks, and Asking For It
showed signs of improvement. That's why I gave you a second chance Cheryl, because you showed signs of improvement. Then you cheated on me, and now you wonder why I left your ass faster than a soldier from a grenade.
Life has been good since then you know" Kind of like Torture Chamber
, the loudest track on the album and the best track as well. Featuring some new screeching and synth sounds alongside some yelling, Torture Chamber
epitomizes everything good about Whitehouse, just as my new girlfriend reminds me of everything I wish you would be. Never Forget Death
was a forgettable album mostly because William had too much power and Steve Albini wasn't there to add his genius to the mix. It wasn't all that bad, but it wasn't good either. I don't hate the time we had together Cheryl, but I don't mind forgetting 80% of it.
In Conlusion: Go fuck yourself Cheryl.