Disturbed
Immortalized


2.0
poor

Review

by Underflow USER (24 Reviews)
September 1st, 2015 | 17 replies


Release Date: 08/21/2015 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Disturbed's "Immortzlied" is the perfect album for people who want metal without teeth, grit or a pulse.

Do you remember the Spongebob episode where our hero ventures to the Salty Spittoon with Sandy the Squirrel" Of course you do. You also remember Spongebob’s humiliating attempt at manly swagger, an error in judgment that led him to the ultimate defeat: a barstool seat inside the Weenie Hut Jr. complete with a sundae to top off his emasculation. I bring this up only out of necessity (am I really looking at this band through a critical lens of aquatic cartoon adventure"). Disturbed has long occupied the Weenie Hut Jr. seat in the minds of “serious” metal fans around the world. They’d have you believe that if you listen to Ten Thousand Fists you’ll forever be condemned to windmill your dread-locked mane alone in your parent’s basement. They’d have you believe that your dream job behind the counter at the guitar shop will never happen because the guy currently behind the counter thinks you’re a doofus. Personally, I’ve tried my best to avoid these kinds of juvenile judgments. I’m neither a metal-head nor someone who really cares that much, but for once I have to take a stand. Disturbed finally crossed the line that breaks my Swede-like attempt at neutrality. Their new album “Immortalized” is, well, pretty lame.

Honestly, that’s not breaking news. The band’s best material might win eighth place in a 2002 Hot Topic playlist, but it hasn’t aged well. Disturbed sounds tired even by their own lackluster standard. Of course, wisdom often comes from aging nu-metal musicians, so the band decided to combat creative lethargy with a lethargic tribute to lethargy in grass-form. I’m talking about weed, and, sadly, so is the band. Sure, “taking a puff” from “the leaves of the devil” sounds super spooky, but even the down-tuned guitar crunch can’t turn me into a Satan-worshipping pothead if there’s zero substance (ha) to back up the bark. “What Are You Waiting For” continues the pseudo-cool angst brigade with chugging guitars and a quasi-rapped chorus that calls to mind anything but this latest addition to Disturbed’s canon. You’ll find yourself recalling a moment when you heard this exact song before, and then you’ll high-five yourself because you realize the song answered its own question: we’re just waiting for the album to end, guys.

You’d probably expect something, namely clever production tricks, to break the monotonous cavalcade of up-tempo rockery; you’d be wrong. Metal’s finest often use engineering boards and sound rooms to create punishing, ruthless atmospherics. But that’s not who we’re talking about. When you’ve sterilized the sound on your album to the point that it’s rendered as ruthless as pre-packaged pancakes, you have a problem that needs immediate attention. “You’re Mine” just might be the new poster-boy for songs in distress (if you know a song in distress please call the help line). Soaring choruses, pounding beats and grim-serious swagger hit less like bricks and more like wet pool noodles. This is dandy if you want metal for the summer swim party, but it’s not so spiffy if you’re looking for, well, metal. The band’s audacious cover of Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence” doesn’t fare better. It’s hard to shake the impression that Disturbed thought this rendition would make eagles cry. Unfortunately, you’ll likely give the band the sound of silence for their effort. In other words, Disturbed is still the same lovable pop metal band of yesteryear we’ve all come to sort of remember. You’re not going to find any substance here or anything resembling a heart-beat, but if you’re looking for a seat at Weenie Hut Jr’s, you’ve got your ticket.



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user ratings (425)
Chart.
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other reviews of this album
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Comments:Add a Comment 
Underflow
September 1st 2015


3833 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Couldn't recommend anything similar to this in good faith, but here it is.

Mort.
Contributing Reviewer
September 1st 2015


13465 Comments


posd for being the first ever review ive read that opens with spongebob references



Digging: GZA - Liquid Swords

miketunneyiscool123
September 1st 2015


5518 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

pos for Spongebob dude.

Tunaboy45
September 1st 2015


16041 Comments


I eat my nails without milk

Underflow
September 1st 2015


3833 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Me too, Tuna.

Sevengill
September 1st 2015


7817 Comments


"The band’s audacious cover of Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence” doesn’t fare better. It’s hard to shake the impression that Disturbed thought this rendition would make eagles cry."

Pos'd so hard I don't even know what to do with myself.

Digging: Anfauglir - Hymns Over Anfauglith

Tunaboy45
September 1st 2015


16041 Comments


The Sound Of Silence is one of the most touching, contemplative, reflective and ultimately human songs ever devised. If there's one thing it definitely didn't need, it was over processed vocals or just covering in general.

miketunneyiscool123
September 1st 2015


5518 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Got a bottle of Ketchup?

Tunaboy45
September 1st 2015


16041 Comments


IT'S ON!!!

miketunneyiscool123
September 1st 2015


5518 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

WEENIE HUT GENERAL!?!?!?!?

TalonsOfFire
Staff Reviewer
September 1st 2015


17114 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Great review, and agreed. pos for Spongebob [2]

AngryJohnny
September 1st 2015


616 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Yep, pretty much. pos for Spongebob [3]

Flugmorph
September 1st 2015


17648 Comments


No crying eagles here

Likeable review habe a pos


Digging: Coalesce - 0:12 Revolution in Just Listening

Underflow
September 1st 2015


3833 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Thanks for the feedback, guys.

LepreCon
September 1st 2015


5437 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

I don't fully agree but the review's good. Though I enjoyed this album, I accept that Disturbed peaked seven years ago, pity their hiatus didn't do much in terms of creative progression.

PostMesmeric
September 1st 2015


704 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

Disagree with the score, but I would be committing an enormous sin if I didn't pos this.

Underflow
September 1st 2015


3833 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

@OvDeath: That's a risk I was willing to take. Also, background is provided.



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