Kid Rock
First Kiss


1.0
awful

Review

by WesleyJones USER (7 Reviews)
March 3rd, 2015 | 48 replies


Release Date: 02/24/2015 | Tracklist

Review Summary: I'd like to tell y'all a little story.

It was one of the warmest summer nights, everything was set up perfectly. Beer to the left, weed to the right and my dashboard in front of me. It was around 4:00 PM I went and picked up my girl, and we went out to a college party and had the time of our life. We binge drank and danced and had sex. Lost and lots of good ol' nasty, dirty, violent sex. I think I got some in her mouth. Just when we thought the night couldn't get any better, on comes the radio. We were up in here dancing to some good ol' country classics, Florida Georgia Line, Jason Aldean, Tyler Farr, you name it. Then that one song began to play. Who could forget the classic slow jam, "After Hours Moonshine and Nonstop Intercourse". I got with my girl around midnight and just as the lights went off, we danced the night away. We were both drunk as dogs in love (and from drinking so much). Then, just when she didn't see it coming, I grabbed an empty beer bottle on the table, knocked her out and did her all night long. Such a magnificent feeling. Best of all, it never would have happened if it weren't for that DJ playin' that country song. And especially the whiskey. There ain't enough whiskey in the world. Good lord, folks, the things country music can do. A true blessing of a genre.






To put it simply, Kid Rock is fu¢king atrocious.



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user ratings (35)
Chart.
1.5
very poor

Comments:Add a Comment 
Arcade
Staff Reviewer
March 3rd 2015


8499 Comments


"Bawitdaba" is a fucking jam stop denying it.

Digging: Godflesh - Post Self

WesleyJones
March 3rd 2015


199 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

@Arcade gotta give ya that one

SnakeDelilah
March 3rd 2015


20002 Comments


god damn this review is pathetic gj

Digging: Glassjaw - Material Control

henryChinaski
March 3rd 2015


3895 Comments


I had a good laugh reading this.

Digging: Blood Cultures - Happy Birthday

Tunaboy45
March 3rd 2015


15656 Comments


Kid Deathcore

TheSonomaDude
March 3rd 2015


5749 Comments


Most anticipated release 2015

MattTD
March 3rd 2015


678 Comments


Did I just read about a rape

Artuma
March 3rd 2015


29175 Comments


lol this review is actually pretty great

pedro70512
March 3rd 2015


4167 Comments


impressionism is a thing

pos

MattTD
March 3rd 2015


678 Comments


At least Wesley found out how to write troll reviews well

zaruyache
March 3rd 2015


18093 Comments


The point made was a good one. Pos'd.

BMDrummer
March 3rd 2015


14080 Comments


brilliant

RadicalEd
March 3rd 2015


8641 Comments


lol

Digging: Swarms - Black Chapel Sun

SmartWentCody
March 3rd 2015


142 Comments


Lmao. Had a good laugh. Sums up Kid Rock quite well. POS'd for making non-creativity creative.

deathschool
March 3rd 2015


21928 Comments


"Bawitdaba" is a fucking jam stop denying it. [2]


wtferrothorn
Contributing Reviewer
March 3rd 2015


5781 Comments


Did anybody actually expect this to be good? Anybody at all?

zaruyache
March 3rd 2015


18093 Comments


hillbillies

wtferrothorn
Contributing Reviewer
March 3rd 2015


5781 Comments


Oh my god. This RS interview with him is fucking gold
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/features/the-killer-inside-kid-rock-20150226?page=4

"You have to get these pre-1985 with a silencer. I bought it when Obummer came into office, because I'm thinking, 'What if he fuckin' bans guns?

Obummer



MattTD
March 3rd 2015


678 Comments


"People are like, 'Beyoncé's hot. Got a nice fucking ass'. I'm like, 'Cool, I like skinny white chicks with big tits'. Doesn't really fucking do much for me."

YetAnotherBrick
March 3rd 2015


6691 Comments


pos'd



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