">
 

Nas
Illmatic


1.0
awful

Review

by LaughingSkull USER (39 Reviews)
February 4th, 2015 | 67 replies


Release Date: 1994 | Tracklist


Waiting, he took a drag from his cigar.

The lateness of the Associate did not bother him. While the others at the table were nervously murmuring and fidgeting about, He was carefully arranging the final details of the masterstroke in his head. He appreciated this little moment; "The calm before the storm" the poets called it.

He had chosen an inconspicuous business attire for this little private occasion. After all, sticking out while moving about the city would have worked against His cause. He could have easily pulled out his Star of David from his bedside drawer and pinned it on his suit, with the purpose of revelling in getting a reaction from onlookers... But He did not desire the fame or infamy; only the power. He was comfortable enough in the shadows, in the darkness. The task of scandalizing the public would be left to the Performer.

He took another drag from the cigar, and, not entirely a non-sequitur of thought, he couldn't help but briefly muse on how the observers and listeners never cared for the human effort underneath a puppet show. They enjoyed, or pretended to enjoy, the clanging and clamor, they enjoyed the act itself. But they never stopped to think about the Puppetmaster, about the person truly in charge of the show. Not most of them, at least.

Finally, the Associate arrived.

Almost immediately, the other associates quit their scurrying about, put on their best business face and took their seats around the table. The Associate hastily took his own seat near the door and put his folder on the table, taking the time to briefly go through the sheets it contained.

"[REDACTED], nice of you to arrive!" He said. "Did you acquaint yourself with our latest protege?"

"Well enough, I'd say:
Nasir bin Olu Dara Jones. Wants to rap. Obsessed with Scarface. Also associates himself with petty criminals and gangsters. His life's philosophy concludes with the cliche "Life's a bitch". Absolutely talentless, but likes to think he's quite smart and well-read. Uninteresting, depraved, and utterly worthless. "

"Pretty much, yeah. Nothing to worry about, though. We've already handpicked the producers to do the necessary adjustments. And the advertisers and critics are there to convince the public that this is really amazing. Like we've done many times before."

"Like we've done many times before, yes. But never have we put forward something so obviously inane. I've been with you since the 60's. I remember a lot of the bands and performers we put forward during the 'Nam times. They always had a talent, though. They always had some artistic flair that made them actually worthwhile. They wrote their own songs and played their own instruments. But this... This "Nas" guy... This is insanity. We shouldn't do this. We can't do this."

Cynical smiles and sneers all round the table, a bit of an awkward forced laughter. He was the only one to respond with seriousness:

"[REDACTED]... Think of the money. Think of the wave we'll unleash. In half a decade, we'll have a dozen similar acts raking in immense profits. Who actually cares if it's good music? Who cares if it glorifies trash and crime?? People will be convinced it's good, and we'll be winning! That's all that matters"

"I'll take that for a dollar!", another associate exclaims, unknowingly misquoting one of the greatest movies of the century. The rest jeer with that same fake and forced laughter as a little while ago.

The Associate stands up from his chair carefully, with gravity.

"Gentlemen, I'm out. Our undertaking was profitable and enjoyable, for the most part. But I can't sit idly by as we destroy sacred things... as we destroy talent and art."

The Associate made a motion then towards the door. The Person at the End of the table pointed his finger at him and tilted his head at a menacing angle:

"No more life in a mansion for you, [REDACTED]. No more Mercedeses."

The Associate paused for a minute and seemed to stare into space. He squinted his eyes, and declared, not with malice, but with wistfulness:

"Mercedes is just like cigars... Made for people with small dicks and big egos."

It hit its mark, and, after regaining their composure from the blow, the others erupted with an unquenchable ire. Except for Him. He was not perturbed or in any way moved by the remark. Because He held the conviction that he was doing the right thing, and it was an implacable conviction. Even as the Associate left the room, the Person at the end of the table suddenly felt more zealous than ever before.

"Gentlemen, we move forward."



Recent reviews by this author
Lana Del Rey Chemtrails Over The Country ClubMachine Head Catharsis
Non Phixion The Future Is NowMegadeth Dystopia
Lana Del Rey HoneymoonArtillery By Inheritance
user ratings (3808)
4.6
superb
other reviews of this album
1 of


Comments:Add a Comment 
SharkTooth
February 4th 2015


14921 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

lol good troll

iamamanfromspace
February 4th 2015


1030 Comments


user ratings (2355)

Awful: Votes, 1

Insurrection
February 4th 2015


24844 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

dope review

TheSonomaDude
February 4th 2015


9068 Comments


...............................fuck!

MMX
February 4th 2015


5020 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

3 at best

SharkTooth
February 4th 2015


14921 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

agreed

MMX
February 4th 2015


5020 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

wise shark bait hoo ha ha



lz41
February 4th 2015


233 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

Hmmmm.

You don't mention a single song.

Or expand beyond the criticism that Nas is talentless.

But it's a groovy concept.

Pass on judgment.

MMX
February 4th 2015


5020 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Read between the lines

Avagantamos
February 4th 2015


8902 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

been bumpin this in the whip lately

Jasdevi087
February 4th 2015


8124 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Does the album justice. Props man.

iamamanfromspace
February 4th 2015


1030 Comments


Too bad this album can't be as good as Linkin Park

MrMatt767
February 4th 2015


559 Comments


lmao

toomuchtestosterone
February 4th 2015


87 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

God I loved that review

HalfManHalfAmazing
February 4th 2015


2795 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

it's such shame Nas isn't as good a rapper as Mike Shinoda!

iamamanfromspace
February 4th 2015


1030 Comments


but you know you can't deny that Hybrid Theory just had a classic sound, and it wasn't all about women and crimes, unlike this garbage

LambsBread
February 4th 2015


6522 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

NEG. i cant believe I got banned for writing a rap-review and this shit is OK.



Nas wasn't even signed to a major label at this point, this album was independent and made by a

few poor Negroes with limited access to technology.

Frippertronics
Emeritus
February 4th 2015


19513 Comments


negative review of an acclaimed rap album > it doesn't agree with my opinion > therefore, it sucks



flawless logic, hills

Gyromania
February 4th 2015


37017 Comments


brilliant review

LambsBread
February 4th 2015


6522 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

what about this review is at all brilliant besides him putting dialogue into a format that doesn't usually involve dialogue?



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2023 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy