Brand New
The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me


5.0
classic

Review

by IdiotequeCigar USER (8 Reviews)
September 23rd, 2014 | 55 replies


Release Date: 2006 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Music for people with big, fluffy hearts.

This is a review for Brand New’s The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me. This is maybe one of the most overreviewed albums that anyone still comments on, but none of these reviews are real. This is the only review that exists, and therefore it must be read. It is also very truthful.

The thing is (and I’m going to get this out of the way now because it’s the part of the review that isn’t insubstantial bull***) that Brand New don’t really give a *** about you. Look at that artwork. You are what appears to be a little girl and they are what appear to be two men with masks laughing underneath their aforementioned masks at how they are trolling you. The reality is slightly more complicated, because the ‘little girl’ is actually a fully grown human female who works in a pancake joint in my neighborhood – she only looks small because the band had a sulk and couldn’t decide which two members would be dressed up and put on the masks, so they decided to play it like Lenin and stand on each other’s’ shoulders so that everyone could look like a paedo. Some of you probably paid money for this.

They don’t give a *** because they haven’t ever released printed versions of the lyrics, which are why sites like UltimateGuitar and Sputnikmusic like this album. This leaves fragile flowers such as Channing Freeman vulnerable to embarrassing themselves by declaring undying love for something they don’t even know the ***ing words to. Seriously, although the band doesn’t care about you, they still have the common decency not to sing “settle baby” when they could sing “you’ve set on me.” They clue is that the song’s about the not-sun, because the sun has ***ing set. ***ssakes.

In many ways the sun (and its absence) is a leitmotif of this album and not only symbolises illumination and elucidation, but also refers to Jacques Derrida’s deconstruction philosophy, which ascribes identity to the absence thereof, so that something can only be defined by its opposite. In this way, by including both light and darkness, the sun and the not-the-sun, the assurance of understanding and the confusion of everything you won’t know, Brand New covers both sides of everything they examine and ensures that the album is as complete as can be. If this paragraph had been included in a staff review, you probably would have paraphrased it at some point in the near future in an effort to explain how much you love this album, so be grateful I don’t apply my manifold talents to impressing people with gimmicky writing that speaks volumes of *** all and would land me a nice five-letter red tag next to my name that I could spread over all albums like this.

At the end, all will come to dust. Thank you.



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user ratings (6233)
4.4
superb
other reviews of this album
1 of


Comments:Add a Comment 
IdiotequeCigar
September 23rd 2014


401 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

I am back.

BMDrummer
September 23rd 2014


14659 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0 | Sound Off

this needed another 5 review

Jots
Staff Reviewer
September 23rd 2014


7243 Comments


someone flag this review pls

IdiotequeCigar
September 23rd 2014


401 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Do it yourself

Jots
Staff Reviewer
September 23rd 2014


7243 Comments


I don't have the power

BMDrummer
September 23rd 2014


14659 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0 | Sound Off

lol just read the review, good stuff

ExplosiveOranges
September 23rd 2014


4408 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

The Yeezus and Kanye Are Raging Inside Me

IdiotequeCigar
September 23rd 2014


401 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

And inside me!

StKiyo
September 23rd 2014


384 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

What is a day on sputnik without a 5 star review of Brand New?

BMDrummer
September 23rd 2014


14659 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0 | Sound Off

a good one

Snake.
September 23rd 2014


22509 Comments


review is bad and you should feel bad for trying to get sputnik cred

IdiotequeCigar
September 23rd 2014


401 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

A day with a 4.5 star review of Brand New

Trebor.
Staff Reviewer
September 23rd 2014


57454 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5 | Sound Off

don't care

Digging: Sophie - Oil of Every Pearl's Un-Insides

IdiotequeCigar
September 23rd 2014


401 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

I don't give a shit about sputnik cred, hence why I just wrote a satirical review aimed at the generic pretentious sputster who would fawn over half the content here if it had serious context behind it. You really thought that one through.

Ryus
September 23rd 2014


21209 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

the jesse lacey and his dick are raging inside me

Digging: Omar S - You Want

mxbrady
September 23rd 2014


1580 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

I used to like this album but then I read this review and you changed my mind thank you good job

Snake.
September 23rd 2014


22509 Comments


the devil and god are raging inside jesse lacey's dick

IdiotequeCigar
September 23rd 2014


401 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

You are not welcome

bach
September 23rd 2014


16286 Comments


i probably listened to this once

Jots
Staff Reviewer
September 23rd 2014


7243 Comments


well yeah if he hated it why would he listen repeatedly smh



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