xSPONGEXCOREx
How Tough Are Yah?


5.0
classic

Review

by Nash J! USER (41 Reviews)
September 6th, 2014 | 1613 replies


Release Date: 2014 | Tracklist

Review Summary: The best time to jam xSPONGEXCOREx, is all the time.

How tough are yah? HOW TOUGH ARE YAH? It doesn’t matter, because you’ll never be hardcore enough to jam xSPONGEXCOREx--the roughest, toughest band under the seven seas. Only the br00talest of the br00tal can jam them. You need to have to muscles. You need to have muscles on your muscles. You need to muscles on your eyeballs! You need to eat a bowl of chug without any djent! Indeed, xSPONGEXCOREx makes the Salty Spitoon looks like Weenie Hut Junior’s.

For you see, How Tough Are Yah? is no ordinary jam. It goes hard! Real hard! Harder than opening a bottle of ketchup or resisting the urge to cry after stubbing your toe. It is the most emotional album ever released, with every chug, every coarse scream encapsulating all the violent fury of a young, proletariat, poverty-level anthropomorphic sponge working at a dead-end job under a corrupt boss and inhabiting a pineapple in the modern day sin city that is Bikini Bottom. xSPONGEXCOREx kicks more butt than Flats during an afternoon in boating school; their riffs are more explosive than Mrs. Puffs, their breakdowns are tougher than Texas, and their songwriting is as impeccable as the Krabby Patty secret formula. And no, xSPONGEXCOREx do not forget the pickles; every ingredient necessary for a metalcore masterpiece is here and is crafted together so cohesively that not even Plankton himself would dare to steal that formula. Yet, it is unfair to call this album a masterpiece of metalcore; the band brilliantly transcends genre-labeling by being as eclectic as Squidward’s dance routines. From metalcore to metalcore to dubstep and then ingeniously back to metalcore only to end with more metalcore, this album simply has it all. If you thought watching clothes dry at The Wash or going on panty raids with Spongebob and Patrick is fun, wait till you get an earful of this. Oh yes, I’m feeling it now Mr. Krabs!

How Tough Are Yah? is not just the greatest album ever made; it is an experience that defies words and will elevate your mind to an even higher level than that of Scarlett Johansson in Lucy (how terrible was that movie, by the way?). I thank you, xSPONGEXCOREx, for delivering unto the world an album that is stronger than Larry the Lobster, more sinister than the Flying Dutchman, more down-to-earth than Sandy, more intricate than the mind of Patrick, more stinging than a jellyfish, more terrifying than the Hash Slinging Slasher, more delicious than a Krabby Patty, and even more entertaining than that episode when Spongebob tamed jellyfish to have dance parties in his house.

If you have any brain at all, you will drop what you’re doing right this second and listen to How Tough Are Yah? before Viacom inevitably sues xSPONGEXCOREx off the face of the Earth.



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user ratings (443)
3.3
great
other reviews of this album
Peter Meister (4)
So much more than just some comedic metal-core album with Spongebob voice samples....


Comments:Add a Comment 
Judio!
September 6th 2014


8454 Comments


https://xspongexcorex.bandcamp.com/album/how-tough-are-yah

Yay, Spongebob puns!

Gestapo
September 6th 2014


1398 Comments


someone should remaster this and add 808s

fallenbird
September 6th 2014


4491 Comments


Pos'd pos'd pos'd

Also, album is the shit

cliiint
September 6th 2014


1363 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

fuck this. it's not even funny.

RogueNine
September 6th 2014


4027 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

]How Tough Are Ya? in the final paragraph.



I truly hope to see this album on year-end lists.

JohnnyOnTheSpot
Emeritus
September 6th 2014


6738 Comments


thanks for reviewing my album Judio :] did it justice

RogueNine
September 6th 2014


4027 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Nvm, you caught it.

cliiint
September 6th 2014


1363 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

what's the name of the metalcore band that used movie clips 90% of the time instead of vocals

SharkTooth
September 6th 2014


14137 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

I would pos this so hard had I been able to

Funeralopolis
September 6th 2014


14366 Comments


40 classic votes wut

Digging: Blood Incantation - Hidden History of the Human Race

laughingman22
September 6th 2014


2822 Comments


that fukin summary

Judio!
September 6th 2014


8454 Comments


"thanks for reviewing my album Judio :] did it justice"
wtf is this seriously your album?

Judio!
September 6th 2014


8454 Comments


How awesome would be if this review got featured? Like that make my entire life.

"40 classic votes wut"

lol I know it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

SharkTooth
September 6th 2014


14137 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

"and even more entertaining than that episode when Spongebob tamed jellyfish to have dance parties in his house and the then the jellyfish."



typo

Judio!
September 6th 2014


8454 Comments


Oops missed that one, thanks for pointing that out bro.

fallenbird
September 6th 2014


4491 Comments


Let's keep that average for the lols

Frippertronics
Staff Reviewer
September 6th 2014


19068 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5 | Sound Off

Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?

Digging: Lightning Bolt - Sonic Citadel

Angelboros
September 6th 2014


1357 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5 | Sound Off

"I'm feeling a warm spot"

Judio!
September 6th 2014


8454 Comments


oh i'm feeling it...


I'M FEELING LIKE A TOTAL BARNACLE HEAD!

Frippertronics
Staff Reviewer
September 6th 2014


19068 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5 | Sound Off

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARY





YOU ARE GOING TO FINISH YOUR DESSERT AND YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT



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