Godzilla
Godzilla


1.5
very poor


Release Date: 1989 | Tracklist

Review Summary: A band called “Godzilla” with Predator on the album cover art? This must be awesome! Right?...right?

If I had seen this album sitting on store shelves back in ’89, I would have gladly spent my weekly allowance on it. I mean, c’mon dude! Godzilla and Predator? In the metal section of the store no less? In actuality, I never saw this album on the shelves and up until an hour ago, I had no clue this album existed. I simply typed “Godzilla” into the Sputnikmusic.com search bar out of pure banal and this popped up. I saw the cover, went “duuuuuude” and looked it up on YouTube.

Getting right down to the bottom line, Godzilla is just another glam/hair metal band with a hint of 80’s invasion heavy metal, but things go beyond that. Godzilla’s first album is, quite reasonably, the most sleep-inducingly generic and stock thing in existence. Absolutely no effort was put into this, no risks were taken, no cognitive thought went into writing any track on this record. If you want a good comparison for what this album sounds like, listen to any of Pantera’s first three albums; yah, back when Pantera were glam. In fact, the entire time I was listening to this, I kept thinking of Pantera’s debut, Metal Magic, which is the only thing that could possibly be higher than Godzilla on the generic-o-meter. I’m really not sure how to describe this album other than calling it generic and boring. If you've heard any glam metal, like, ever, than you've heard Godzilla. If you've seen a still photograph of a glam metal band, then you've heard Godzilla. If you've seen Dee Snider complain about stuff on The Apprentice, then you've heard Godzilla.

Let’s get out our handy-dandy hair metal checklist and mark down the list, shall we. Songs about loving girls? Check. Songs about a bad girlfriend? Check. Songs declaring how badass and unstoppable the band is? Check. A ***ty ballad about a girl? Check. A sound that’s identical to every other glam metal act in the world? Check. Do the band members have poofy hair, all the makeup in Slap-Ass The Clown’s kit, and tight brightly colored jeans? It's highly likely, but I can’t find a single snapshot of these guys anywhere, so they’ll slide on that one.

Seriously, how many times have we heard this riff? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlojL_SHCCU

The album comes in at only 29 minutes, which is isn't surprising the least. With many of the songs only being about two-and-a-half minutes long (with one 90 second long song called “Don’t Stop The Boogie”), Godzilla might be a painful album, but I’m thinking the band for at least abridging our torment. Honestly, I would love to have sat in on the creative/recording process of this album. It makes me wonder if they just sat around a room with a cassette player listening to Poison, Whitesnake, pre-Phil Pantera, and Motley Crew, and every 30 seconds somebody would shout “hey, let’s do that!” and the manager would write it down on a piece of paper. In actuality, Godzilla’s debut is far below any of those bands listed above (minus pre-Phil Pantera) to the point of where Steel Panther can be taken more seriously than these kids. Scratch that, Steel Panther’s early years, Metal Skool, had more dignity than Godzilla. Hell, even Anal Cunt’s glam spoof, “***in A”, is better than this crap.

I’ll give it this: lead guitarist is pretty talented...yet another similarity to Metal Magic. Ingo Nowotny can shred for sure, but he doesn’t carry the band on his shoulders and he doesn’t rescue this abysmal piece of rubbish. He's also the only band member that doesn't go by a derisory stage name. Also, the title track is listenable for a few seconds until the terrible synth-lead sound takes over.

I’d say avoid this record at all costs, but you’d never find it anyways. In fact, I’m to blame for introducing it to you. So…I guess I’m sorry.



Recent reviews by this author
Metallica Ride the LightningMetallica Kill 'Em All
Bad Departure Bad DepartureKorn Korn
Entombed Same DifferenceSahara Texarkana
user ratings (11)
1.7
very poor

Comments:Add a Comment 
TheSonomaDude
July 5th 2014


7299 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

Heard this album for the first time at 3:30, had this review done by 4:30. Not a glam fan, but I've heard some stuff I've enjoyed.

Friday13th
July 5th 2014


7149 Comments


haha bravo. This album looks unreal.

facupm
July 5th 2014


11693 Comments


"motley crew"


you mean crue


good review

Shuyin
July 6th 2014


14066 Comments


vocalist is aight from what ive heard but everything else is recycled as fuk

TheBarber
July 6th 2014


3957 Comments


Summary sums up my thoughts and answers them perfectly, pos

BMDrummer
July 6th 2014


14684 Comments


good review, sounds like a shit band

ExplosiveOranges
July 6th 2014


4408 Comments


Lol

TheGreatQ
July 6th 2014


2963 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

This is better than their second album

TheSonomaDude
July 6th 2014


7299 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

I listened to about 15 seconds of their second album, but from what I heard, I might agree...

ExcentrifugalForz
July 6th 2014


2124 Comments


just bought the vinyl

thanks for the rec

Friday13th
July 6th 2014


7149 Comments


@TheGreatQ They actually bothered making a second album? lol

facupm
July 6th 2014


11693 Comments


heard a couple of songs and yeah pretty generic

TheGreatQ
July 6th 2014


2963 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

@Friday Yep, and it has a terrible 7 minute long cover of Helter Skelter on it.

zaruyache
July 6th 2014


23415 Comments


Did they seriously rip off Dio's We Rock with that riff? Like for real?

StolenIdentity
July 6th 2014


326 Comments


I'm impressed by your ability to convert the sentence "this album is boring and generic" into a series of paragraphs.

Banal is not a noun, by the way; it's an adjective.

DrGonzo1937
Staff Reviewer
July 6th 2014


16738 Comments


lol that album cover.

Grizzlypyro
July 6th 2014


272 Comments


Review summary had me in stitches, pos'd.

RobbaqPL
July 6th 2014


187 Comments


Short, funny, and not about something overplayed. Keep up the good work !

Lambda
July 6th 2014


2654 Comments



Review summary had me in stitches, pos'd. x2

TheSonomaDude
September 30th 2014


7299 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

Why the hell would anyone give this hunk of shit a 4?



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





FAQ // STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // SITE FORUM // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2019 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy