Review Summary: Perfectly encapsulates the thought process of a horny 12-year-old boy on crack.
First of all, I'd just like to say that the only thing saving this album from being a flat 1 is the saxophone section in "Talk Dirty." Even I have to admit that's pretty catchy. Unfortunately, that's the beginning and the end of what positive criticism I can give. Everything else, including the rest of the titular track, is complete garbage that resembles a child's view of what modern R&B (or rap) sounds like.
First and foremost, I've got to address the lyrics. To be honest, I'm pretty forgiving when it comes to pop song lyrics, as the songs themselves are mainly just for fun, and the lyrics are an afterthought. But, with that being said, I have to draw the line somewhere. This album doesn't just cross the line; It runs a freaking marathon past it, as you can see below.
Your booty like two planets
Go head, and go ham sammich
The lyrics listed above come from "Wiggle," easily the worst song on the album (and that's saying a hell of a lot, believe me), and probably the worst song of the year so far. I don't even know what the hell "go ham sammich" means, but it's a cringe-worthy line regardless. Oh, and the word "wiggle" is repeated
more than 50 freaking times! I have no idea who even writes this nonsense, but I do know that they should be publicly flogged and beheaded. Oh, and if you're not yet convinced of this album's lyrical awfulness, this line from "Talk Dirty" should help:
Uno, met your friend in Rio
Dos, she was all on me-o
Tres, we can ménage a three-o
Despite being borderline racist, this line showcases Jason hilariously butchering the French term for a threesome, "ménage á trois."
Other than absurdly terrible lyrics, any Jason Derulo album wouldn't be complete without god-awful singing, and this record does not disappoint. Probably the best example of this would be in the album's first single, The Other Side, where Derulo wails out the chorus of "take me to the other side," while the poor autotune struggles to make his atrocious voice sound somewhat passable. Oh, did that line sound familiar? That's right; for some godforsaken reason, my good friend Jason decided to reference a legendary Red Hot Chili Peppers track.
Why? I have no god damn idea.
Yup, this album sucks. A lot.
It's full of laughably terrible lyrics performed by a man with a laughably terrible singing voice. I simply cannot see anyone over the age of 12 having any use for this album. So, please, for the love of whatever god you believe in,
stay away from this album. It just might keep you out of therapy.
