18 Carat Affair
Televised Tragedies


3.5
great

Review

by jakethemetalguy USER (6 Reviews)
April 17th, 2014 | 9 replies


Release Date: 2011 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Twenty channels and nothing's on.

I'm not going to pretend that I know a damn thing about the origins of this band, or even who is behind the ensemble. I don't feel that understanding the driving entities behind music are absolutely imperative to giving a solid, educational review. Make no mistake: If you read this, you will understand what you're going to hear from this album.

As you walk through the opening seconds of Televised Tragedies, you may be bewildered, off-put, or maybe even bored. You should come to expect such a feeling of underwhelming haze throughout the album; this is what Televised Tragedies is designed to do to your mind. What you initially hear is a tune that might best be described as elevator music one might hear on a slow, painful ride down to Hell. Each tune is interwoven with chimes and dings that have obviously been taken from the background of some 80s commercials, intermixed with chaotic, muttering voices spouting indeterminable lyrics.

Now, you might be asking yourself: "Why in the world would I care to listen to an album that bores and bewilders?" The answer also helps illustrate why I've given this album a rating of "great" instead of "average" or worse. The moments in which this album becomes interesting and escapes the monotonous, annoying "TV-commercial" nonsense are absolutely delightful and interesting. This is mood music, and over the course of this twenty-six minute stream of sounds, the vast range of emotions covered is fairly impressive. At times, I would find myself momentarily depressed, only to want to dance to the tune seconds later.

If you're bored, in a psychedelic mindset, or even if your cable subscription was just canceled and you want to feel that familiar dysphoric sensation one might get from zoning out to commercials, this could be your go-to album. Who knows? It just might evoke some emotional state you haven't felt in a while; hopefully, for my sake as a reviewer, it isn't anger toward me.



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user ratings (5)
2.9
good

Comments:Add a Comment 
osmark86
April 17th 2014


11461 Comments


I heard Vintage Romance and thought that album was pretty neat. might have to listen to this as well.

MisterTornado
April 17th 2014


4507 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Wowza this is gotta be one of the most out of the blue things I've seen on Sputnik in a while (so

basically since ...fuk 2). Why this album when he has plenty of better ones?! Well

alrighty let's see what we got here...

MisterTornado
April 17th 2014


4507 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

I'm not going to pretend that I know a damn thing about the origins of this band, or even who is behind the ensemble.



It's a person not a band and his name is Denys Parker



I don't feel that understanding the driving entities behind music are absolutely imperative to giving a solid, educational review. Make no mistake: If you read this, you will understand what you're going to hear from this album.



The "driving entities" behind the music (assuming your talking about whether or not this is a band/single person, where their from, what their name is, etc) isn't necessarily crucial your right, but it does help to try to know what your talking about. The fact that you don't know who's behind this when there's plenty of information and interviews out there is pretty lazy. Plus this whole chunk of information comes off like an argument inside your head you had while writing this. This information is unnecessary and basically tells the reader you were too lazy to make an attempt to understand a little background information.



You should come to expect such a feeling of underwhelming haze throughout the album; this is what Televised Tragedies is designed to do to your mind.



The album is designed to underwhelm us? Pick some better words to replace that idea or just cut it out entirely



Now, you might be asking yourself: "Why in the world would I care to listen to an album that bores and bewilders?" The answer also helps illustrate why I've given this album a rating of "great" instead of "average" or worse.



This is completely unnecessary. Outright telling us within the review why you gave it this rating instead of that is amateurish. Instead this notion should be something your reader understands through your writing rather than you having to come out and tell us.



This is mood music, and over the course of this twenty-six minute stream of sounds, the vast range of emotions covered is fairly impressive.



Expand upon that "vast range of emotions" and the aforementioned parts that are "absolutely delightful and interesting". There's hardly any detail to back up your claims.

osmark86
April 17th 2014


11461 Comments


well the cover is pretty badass for one

MisterTornado
April 17th 2014


4507 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Mhm, but most of his album art is pretty fantastic. And Jake keep in mind I probably sound like an asshole there but it's all constructive criticism. Clearly you've got something going for you if your listening to obscure 18 Carat Affair albums.

chambered99
April 17th 2014


889 Comments


this is pretty goooood

oodlesofnoodles
April 17th 2014


66 Comments


cool review, short and too the point.

Lord(e)Po)))ts
April 17th 2014


70254 Comments


I've only heard his new one it is good

kingsoby1
Emeritus
April 17th 2014


4970 Comments


yeah new one is dope



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