by NickGrouwen USER (9 Reviews)
November 5th, 2012 | 11 replies

Release Date: 1984 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Bottom line, I tried to like this album. I really did. But this is just cr*p. Totally unmemorable, totally forgettable. Don't bother with this. I can't BELIEVE this was their commercial return to form.

This is hands down. The Worst Album of All Times.

I cannot even begin to express my disgust for this cr*p. 1984 was the start of a new era in the 80s. When music in general went completely down the drain. And what better album to represent the sh*tty mid-80s period with, than KISS' Animalize"

Lick It Up had good songs. Good riffs. Good lyrics. Good choruses. Courtesy of Vinnie Vincent. Yes, the cheesy glam metal influences were already showing, but overall, that album was a balls to the wall kickass hard rock album.

And then they let Vinnie go and look what happens.

Animalize is easily the worst of the worst. Bottom of the barrel. Cheesy generic heavy metal riffs in EVERY song. Riffs that a 5-year old could've come up with. And don't mean bad as in they're not techical enough. I'm not a tech metalhead kinda guy or anything like that. But hell, AC/DC does the simple riff thing the best. No, the problem with the riffs on Animalize is that they're just cheap and cheesy, watered-down, generic, heavy metal versions of AC/DC and Led Zeppelin/Aerosmith riffs.

And the songtitles, oh God. 'Lonely Is the Hunter'" What the *** is that" 'Under the Gun', so generic. 'Thrills in the Night'. Ugh, any rock/metal song with 'Night' in the title, usually equates to suck. This is just bad. 'Murder in High Heels', no comment.

The lyrics, I'm not even gonna bother with them. Cheesy as hell. Gene was lost without Vincent. Read some of the lyrics from the LIU album, and then read some of the lyrics from this album. Yeah.

The choruses. Well. What can I say" They are WAY too long, have too many lines, and are cheesy as hell. Which all in all makes them totally unmemorable. Particularly in Stanley's songs. Let's take a few:

'Feel my heat
Takin' you higher
Burn with me
Heaven's on fire
Paint the sky
With desire,
Angel fly
Heaven's on fire'

'You gotta get all you can take -
sing along, gotta keep on hummin'
Stop waitin' for your lucky break -
stop waitin', wastin' time
What ***in' difference does it make" -
ooh, gotta keep it comin'
You gotta get all you can take -
doncha know I'm gonna take what's mine'

'While the city sleeps -
it's all there in black and white
While the city sleeps -
through the eye of the needle, gotta thread your life
While the city sleeps -
while the city sleeps'

And the shorter ones just suck and are cheesy.

Let's go over it song-by-song:
- I've Had Enough (Into the Fire): Generic heavy metal riff with a ***ty chorus.
- Heaven's on Fire: KISS trying to pull off 'You Shook Me All Night Long'. Boys, don't even try.
- Burn Bitch Burn: The only good thing about this song, and this album in general, are Gene's raw vocals. Other than that, suck.
- Get All You Can Take: Sh*t riff, cheesy vocals and chorus.
- Lonely Is the Hunter: Ugh, yet ANOTHER cheesy generic hard rock riff.
- Under the Gun: The riff can't get any more generic than this.
- Thrills in the Night: The only, mmm, decent riff on this album. I'll admit. Probably the best song here, and that's not saying much.
- While the City Sleeps: Oh Gene. How about spending more than 2 minutes on songwriting, hm"
- Murder in High Heels: Written by Gene Simmons. Enough said.

Animalize represents the absolute nadir of 80s music. A product of the times. A going-along-with-the-worst-trend-you-can-go-along-with. KISS should be ashamed of themselves. NOTHING about this album is anywhere NEAR memorable. DON'T BUY THIS POS.

And boys, don't ever do that leopard print and eyeliner bull*** again. Seriously. And if you're gonna wear a wig, make it a decent one.

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Comments:Add a Comment 
November 5th 2012


reads like a 1.3

November 5th 2012


i watched detroit rock city the other day, it really got me in the mood to listen to some kiss.

November 5th 2012


1984 was the start of a new era in the 80s. When music in general went completely down the drain.

The 80's were easily amongst the most creative and good era's of music imo

November 5th 2012



November 5th 2012


The 80's were easily amongst the most creative and good era's of music imo

if you're talking about bands like the clash, husker du, and the replacements then yeah

November 5th 2012


I am (also post-punk and noise) and let's not forget coil or the fall, etc..... such a good decade

November 5th 2012


does this rock

November 5th 2012


I agree that this is an extremely shitty band but the review comes across as really unprofessional, more of a rant than anything else. I won't neg because you do make some good points but I won't pos either.

November 5th 2012


Album Rating: 1.5

first two tracks are good, the rest are pretty bad and very dull (see Lonely is the Hunter)

November 5th 2012



November 5th 2012


Heaven's On Fire isn't THAT terrible.... Neither were the 80's, really. You need to work on your writing skills IMHO.

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