Review Summary: Never mind the critic's bollocks, here's an actual review of this:
Out of all the manufactured rock bands out there (and there are tons!) most of them are actually pretty damn good. Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana, hell, even The Clash hold the usual rock paradox: they seem to oppose mainstream culture when their very identities revolve around their image and their success hinges on targeting their demographic with as much accuracy as Dr. Luke. In essence there really isn't any difference between successful rock bands and successful pop artists.
The reason I bring all of this up is because if there was ever a manufactured rock band, The Sex Pistols would be it. Oh sure, today tons of kids and pretentious a-holes alike will go on and on about the cultural significance of the Pistols. How they led a political movement in the U.K. How they connected with the youth of the time and revolutionized the rock genre. No such thing in reality.
The backstory to the Pistols is rather simple. Some prick that ran a store was amused by Rotten's rude antics. Deciding that it would be a funny prank to get this annoying waste of life in a band to try and annoy as many people as possible, he came up with the idea of The Sex Pistols. Tell me this isn't the most hilarious story ever.
Simply stated, The Sex Pistols are just a bunch of talentless losers trying to annoy as many people as possible. You can hear it in the purposefully offensive lyrics. Topics ranging from abortion to egocentrism abound. The opening track itself just appears to be making a political statement about Berlin. But if you even examine the lyrics you realize these punks have nothing to say. They're just spewing out whatever they thought would get people mad with as little thought as possible. Rotten sings each line with the glee of an internet troll about to witness the chaos he just provoked.
It's all good fun but at the end of the day, these guys can barely play their instruments and they were just messing around. There's nothing classic or for the ages here. There's nothing even resembling originality here (unless your idea of original is getting a bunch of idiots from the streets to make a racket) or a meaningful message. It's just an attempt to get attention by being as offensive and loud as possible. That's the epitome of dumb, senseless music. Guys, this is the music that obnoxious hobo that asks you for cash and then insults you when you refuse to fund his awful lifestyle would make.
So the next time you hear a music critic tell you that The Sex Pistols were out making intense political statements or that they were fearless pioneers in challenging musical standards, be sure to punch them in the face. That's simply not true. It is true, however, that this album epitomizes everything punk: political posturing, image over substance and just general awfulness and obnoxiousness. Anyone who glorifies punk needs to get their head checked.
