Review Summary: A sad foray into what a human male is when all of his testosterone is sapped from his body =(
I first listened to La Dispute with high expectations. I saw one of their posters and it was spelled "LA DISPUTE" and I assumed the band's name was "LA Dispute." Awesome, no? Expected them to go hard, have lots of awesomely ignorant lyrics and generally just be one of the most badass bands alive.
Cue me pulling up "Such Small Hands" on Youtube and wondering what the hell was wrong with their album cover art. It seemed like some sissy ass painting some 1st grader that gets made fun of for still wetting his pants made. Oh well, pressed play and nothing could prepare me for what happened next. I had to try my hardest to keep the tears from pouring out.
What the hell was this?? Why am I listening to some white kid whine about getting friendzoned or some B.S.? Since when was hardcore full whiny, overly estrogenated lead vocalists? Maybe the track was some kind of a joke? Alas that was not to be. This whole album is full of this rubbish lyrics and sissy guitars. My roommate came in as I was playing some track sand asked me why I was listening to some guy crying. That's how awful this stuff is.
More research yields even worse results. Apparently their album is based off on some Chinese story or w/e. What some white kids from Michigan are doing taking the hxc sound and using to tell stories of Azn folktales is beyond me and quite frankly, I don't want to know about the thought process that went behind an album like this. Oh and the title is pretentious too.
The only reason I give this a .5 is because admittedly some parts sound kinda sweet and could make for great dynamic shifts if a moshcore band like L.A. Dispute actually did exist and they decided to add maor nuance to their songs, but otherwise, this album is a waste of time for everyone involved.
If you value your manhood, avoid this album at all costs. Girls, you know better than hang out with dudes who have lyrics as creepy and clingy as this. In short, the album is suitable for no one. Do yourself a favor and pull out some sick hardcore tracks about being tough and from dah streets!
