Review Summary: Scraping a little more off the bottom of the barrel.
Etienne Sin has been quite active over the last few years. His debut LP,
The Art of Stealing Hearts, was almost undoubtedly the cream of the crap as far as 2010 releases are concerned. For a man who considers himself to be “the leader of independent post-hardcore”, that release did little more than cement him as one of the most ridiculed artists in today’s music scene. Apparently undeterred (and with a group of devout fans behind him), Etienne has continued to perform as a featured artist with numerous other bands. Somewhere along the way, Jordan Blake (the former vocalist for
A Skylit Drive) came into the picture and the two of them decided to create a collaborative EP, the humorously titled
The Legend, The Leader. The idea itself is about as appealing as placing your eye socket under a table leg and getting a friend to jump on the table. That doesn’t even begin to describe how painful this was to listen to.
What’s with the title? Etienne sure as hell isn’t a leader, and Jordan is about as much of a music legend as I am. The cover looks like a sad attempt at trying to be creative, but at least it makes some kind of an effort. That’s more than I can say for the actual music, which is basically a continuation of The Art of Stealing Hearts with Jordan whining away in the background. Instead of having to suffer through one obnoxious prick, I got to suffer through two. Excellent. As if things couldn’t possibly get any worse, the additions of autotune and keyboard synths manage to take things to a completely new low. The beginning of “It’s Jordan Blake Bitch!” sounds like a drunken emo kid using the T-Pain voice converter.
All of the lyrics are complete garbage, which is not at all surprising given that The Art of Stealing Hearts sounded like it was written by a twelve year old who wasn’t invited to Ashley’s birthday party. Lines like “Someone, submerge this pain again, Weakened, your eyes are like heroin” and “Yeah, yeah, Etienne where my autotune at, baby?” are two examples of some of the heartfelt poetry you can find throughout the five tracks. The same mistakes that were made on The Art of Stealing Hearts are once again front and center, and in some cases they have regressed even further. It’s difficult to listen to some of the breakdowns out of sheer embarrassment for the two of them. The song structures are still all over the place, and you’d have better luck trying to lick your elbow than you would trying to anticipate any type of logical progression.
Perhaps the most bizarre thing about the entire ordeal is the website where Etienne sells and advertises this EP. For only ten dollars, you too can be featured on what he calls “The Wall of Fame”, which is nothing more than small pictures of those he manage to con placed way at the bottom of the screen. I can’t believe he has the audacity to ask for money for these songs. He should be paying people to take the time to listen to what he calls (and I quote) “the first & only East Coast - West Coast Post-hardcore collaboration in recorded history.” Good lord. Someone needs to sit his ass down and give him a much-needed dose of humility. Whether that would include chopping him in the voicebox or taking away all of the mirrors in his house, I have no idea. What I do know is that the entire music world would be eternally grateful.
