Emerson, Lake and Palmer
In the Hot Seat


4.5
superb

Review

by SWORD USER (6 Reviews)
August 27th, 2011 | 21 replies


Release Date: 1994 | Tracklist

Review Summary: a classic

Twas the 90s, when prog was dead and music was queef. No longer was Karn Evil 9 the feel-good hit of the summer, nay, it twas ***ty bands like candlebox and other gay ones. But in 1994, the boys of EMERSON LAKE AND PALMER set out to record another album - one that would change the world.

Beginning with "Hand of Truth" the band is already back in top shape. Keith plays like it's 1974 and he holds no mustard. He unleashes whatever he pleases and he doesn't care if the audience likes it or not- a true rock attitude. Greg is sitting there playing his bass like he doesn't even give a ***. Newsflash: he doesn't. He strums all day and the bass just gets inside your ears like a dead flashlight. In other words, nobody saw it coming. The cheese of the sandwich that is ELP is the great Carl Palmer. He hits his drumset many times throughout this song, and not just this song, but the entire album. He hits his drumset with his big sticks and he has no regrets. He's in ELP. He plays how he wants. He doesn't care what the homo grunge bands were gonna think of this record. He's not out to impress Pearl Garden and Sound Jam. He's out to bring prog back into the limelight.

The band truly comes together on this album. It's like they are coming out of their penises. You know the moment when you ejaculate...it's like being in heaven. And you know ejaculation is a great thing. ELP knew this as well. They ejaculate all over our ears with such heavenly music. Never before have I been ejaculated upon so gracefully and so brilliantly. And as much as I hate to say it, I don't think I'll get ejaculated on this good ever again. Who could ever have believed that getting jizzed on was this miraculous"

ELP knew.

The highlight of the album is "Hammer It Out", a sexual piece played with such sensuality and sexualness, it makes one crave more ejaculation upon them. Not from other men, I dare say, but from ELP on this album. A metaphorical ejaculation; the type that only a group like Emerson Lake and Palmer could even dream of doing. Others may try to ejaculate with such proficiency...they fail. All of them. The only album that has ever come close to matching this one is Calling All Stations. And that's a whole other review altogether. Yet on Hammer It Out, Greg makes it clear what he wants. Masturbation. An attribute often attributed to the group since their creation in 1970. Masturbation is good for the soul.

So is this album.



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user ratings (59)
Chart.
1.9
poor

Comments:Add a Comment 
SWORD
August 27th 2011


111 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

fuck circle takes the square

SowingSeason
Moderator
August 27th 2011


28724 Comments


4.5

"a classic"

Digging: Exit North - Book of Romance and Dust

JamieTwort
August 27th 2011


26988 Comments


lol great review. I haven't heard this one yet.

KILL
August 27th 2011


81231 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

4.5



"a classic"



you must be new



dude holy shit this review is hilarious

SWORD
August 27th 2011


111 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tzw-MFplU8k&feature=share

AngelofDeath
Emeritus
August 27th 2011


16223 Comments


So awesome.

TheJonneh123
December 22nd 2011


12 Comments


This review is shit.
Using the word "gay" to describe something. What are you 12?
Jesus Christ.
And the album hardly changed the world.

You could write a review on the crass, miserable excuse for a review.

KILL
December 22nd 2011


81231 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

lol faggot

JamieTwort
December 22nd 2011


26988 Comments


I'd go see them.

JamieTwort
December 22nd 2011


26988 Comments


I don't know anyone who would go with me though, none of my friends like ELP.

KILL
April 30th 2012


81231 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

give me a reason to stay

RunOfTheMill
November 3rd 2012


3871 Comments


Holy fuck this review is hilarious

Digging: Outrage (JPN) - Black Clouds

menawati
November 3rd 2012


16587 Comments


hehe ye is quite funny

NightmareCinema16
November 27th 2012


2016 Comments


HOW?????

NightmareCinema16
November 28th 2012


2016 Comments


Oh, wait, now I know.

tharikleo
February 12th 2013


10 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Hilarious. Well done, SWORD. haha

SharkTooth
December 27th 2014


13855 Comments


He's not out to impress Pearl Garden and Sound Jam. He's out to bring prog back into the limelight.

such true words

SandwichBubble
April 1st 2017


8485 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

*Album Rating: 5.0



Review speaks for itself pos

Digging: Marika Papagika - Marika Papagika Vol. 1: Recordings 1918-1929

hcoaster94
June 15th 2018


8 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Other than "Hand of Truth" which has a fairly decent and somewhat progressive theme, and the inclusion of the studio recording of Pictures at an Exhibition, the rest of this album is pretty bad

ConConure
December 7th 2018


2 Comments


"In other words, nobody saw it coming. The cheese of the sandwich that is ELP is the great Carl Palmer. He hits his drumset many times throughout this song, and not just this song, but the entire album. He hits his drumset with his big sticks and he has no regrets. He's in ELP. He plays how he wants."

This review is hysterical. What a classic record!


Digging: Toby Driver - They Are the Shield



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