Review Summary: PUNK AS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I pride myself on being self alienating. I don't know what it is, but I just get off on being totally bizarre and unpredictable. I like scaring people with my theatrics but even more I like to wear viking dresses, drink mixed beers, and mosh alone. I am gratified by my own egotistical need to be different. In the process I make myself undatable and damage potential job prospects but that's alright because in the long run I really don't give a ***. Id rather just live in the moment, jerk off and listen to music all day with the occasional Renaissance fair, work day and gym visit thrown in for good measure. Music is therapeutic for me and I need a wide span of genres to compliment the various emotions I feel during the course of a day. Listening to hardcore is appropriate for when I want to smash 80 inch TVs with my battle axe or eat and drink excessively. Today is one of those days and the band in question is Japan's Gloom.
Gloom is one of those old-school crust punk bands you hear about from all the music elitists out there. Opinions are varied upon the tenets of musical elitism but in the long run these guys do more good than bad. The said elitists may be dick or arrogant but they introduce you to some kickass ***ing ***. Good tradeoff no? Gloom's 1993 EP Speed Noise Hardcore Rags is twelve minutes of blistering hardcore punk that will kick your sister in the face and buy her a bottle of wine afterwards. Gloom don't *** around here. They play groovy, heavy as a sledgehammer to the groin hardcore with a grimy ass tone and anarchist like precision. I swear, if the dudes and dudettes up in England aren't rioting to this I'll be surprised. There are no calming interludes or heartfelt Rebecca Black choruses. In fact, you won't even have a moment to breathe when this EP is running. For eight tracks you are bombarded with perpetually pissed off, high octane hardcore that doesn't stop until the twelve minutes are up.
Let me tell you something mother***ers. Gloom can riff. Gloom can riff harder and faster than any of you can. And it is that reason why I have a hard time not headbanging/running into walls while I write this exquisite review. They pull out all the big guns and pummel you with blistering crust riffs so catchy you will be helpless to remain still during this aural beating. Grab your bro, chug a beer and start moshing. Oh wait! "Wargasm" opens up with a heartfelt melody. Time to slow-dance with your gal pal. Never mind, that lasted about twenty seconds before the fast riffs and unintelligible shouts beckon through the speakers. Vocals are fierce yo. You can't really understand what he is saying but who cares? This guy is yelling like there's no tomorrow. He has so much passion in his voice that you have to believe that he's spouting a positive message. The drumming performance is E.N.E.R.G.E.T.I.C. Rampant snare abuse and kick-drums result in ear rape. No time to slow down, you have to keep moshing. This music is perfect for going to a house party solely to break random *** that doesn't belong to you. The rhythms are infectious, the production is raw and the attitude is up in your face.
Speed Noise Hardcore Rags is a perfect example of 90's hardcore done right. It's fast, furious and defiant. It doesn't reinvent the wheel nor does it stimulate your intellectual depth with progressive song structures but what it does have is passion. Speed Noise Hardcore Rags is a brief yet rousing good time destined for debauchery and destruction, even if this band turned out to be a straightedge/flower power crew without my knowing. If you fancy yourself as a lunatic or a man/woman who likes to punch floors and drink hot sauce then I recommend you give this a spin. You wont be disappointed.
