Miranda Cosgrove
High Maintenance


1.5
very poor

Review

by iFghtffyrdmns USER (63 Reviews)
March 19th, 2011 | 25 replies


Release Date: 2011 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Cue the facepalm

High Maintenance is Miranda Cosgrove's follow up to Sparks Fly, her 2010 LP. The pop singer/actress' second extended play features songs co-written with both Avril Lavigne and Rivers Cuomo - an impetus for Weezer fans worldwide to emit a massive collective sigh. With the release, Miss Cosgrove attempts to replicate the surprising positive reception of her first full length. Such an attempt, however, may have been in vain.

The EP kicks it off with lead single "Dancing Crazy", a track concerned solely with boogieing along to some tunes until the morning's wee hours. The mediocre production can't even begin to make up for the song's dreadful lyrics ("I like you and you like me, we get together and we're happy. Didja hear me say that" Didja-didja-didja hear me say that"") or its utter lack of originality. "Face of Love" features a mildly catchy beat and slightly less cringe-worthy lyricism, yet still sounds spoiled coming from the ex-Nickelodeon actress. In general, Cosgrove's limited vocal range and unmitigated absence of creativity create an end product that is not only mindlessly boring but adequately bothersome as well.

Miranda's duet with Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo, "High Maintenance", has got to be the EP's leading candidate for most tantalizingly terrible track. Repetitive background music, uninspired production and a chorus featuring some of 2011's most elementary lyricism ("All I want is everything, does that make sense" Does that make me high maintenance"…I don't think so.") plague the track to the point of irritating the listener. Cuomo's presence on the song unfortunately adds absolutely nothing of listening value to it. Even "Kiss You Up", a Shontelle cover from her 2010 album No Gravity, is as sluggish and devoid of passion as the original.

At best, High Maintenance is another cute tween-pop effort for young teenagers all over America to dance along with at awkward junior-high social events. At its worst, however, the EP is no more than the putrescent amalgamation of regurgitated Billboard Top 100 hits. The collection of five songs is essentially a frustratingly wasteful use of internet broadband and FM-radio airspace. Simply put, Miss Cosgrove doesn't do too much right in any of these tracks. It's a shame, I suppose, but my level of concern is seriously exhausted at this point in time.



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Comments:Add a Comment 
iFghtffyrdmns
March 19th 2011


7047 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

First I heard that fucking Rebecca Black Friday song, then this. Oh and I smashed my guitar to smithereens in a fit of musical passion last night.



GAHH this week is just not ending on a good note.

G3N3R1C
March 19th 2011


1945 Comments


Miranda's duet with Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo


*spits soda out*

erasedcitizen
March 19th 2011


716 Comments


Whatever man, iCarly is still the best show on television.

iFghtffyrdmns
March 19th 2011


7047 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

@chan - yeah thanks for noticing that haha, was supposed to be plague. fixed it though.



Maniac!
March 19th 2011


28046 Comments


this is a .5 too high

Tyrael
March 19th 2011


21109 Comments


Miranda's duet with Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo

Ahahahahahahahahaha

Digging: Obscura - Diluvium

G3N3R1C
March 19th 2011


1945 Comments


Rivers keeps surprising me. He somehow manages to find new ways to dig his hole even deeper. I mean, after Raditude i was like "well, this is it. he can't possibly do something more embarrassing than this". I clearly underestimated him.

letsgofishing
March 19th 2011


1022 Comments


Opening isn't quite funny enough. But I loved the review.

POS

Kubrick
March 19th 2011


793 Comments


School of Rock is such a good movie.

mvdu
March 19th 2011


755 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

I don't think it's that bad - more "meh" than bad. But disappointing considering her full-length had promise. I don't expect much innovation, but nothing sets her apart even a little on High Maintenence.

iFghtffyrdmns
March 19th 2011


7047 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

@fishing - more than trying to be funny, I was attempting to expose the embarrassingly bad lyrics, I probably could have picked a better way to do it though.

@kubrick - yes. her singing hasn't improved much either.

@mvdu - yeah I mean that's your opinion, I just think it's awful. I listened quickly to her full length to get some perspective on it to write this and I thought both were pretty bad, but that's mostly because I think this is just shitty tweenpop (or whatever) music.

mvdu
March 19th 2011


755 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Yes, if you don't like pop, you'll think it's worse. It's all perspective, I guess.

AtavanHalen
March 19th 2011


17920 Comments


Very weak, uninspired review.

Rev
March 19th 2011


9819 Comments


Whatever man, iCarly is still the best show on television. [2]

iFghtffyrdmns
March 19th 2011


7047 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

Very weak, uninspired album.

Thanks for popping my neg cherry though!

letsgofishing
March 19th 2011


1022 Comments


It's a Miranda Cosgrove album, what are you supposed to do, an in-depth analysis? Reading everything wrong with this
album would be utterly exhausting. The review was brief, to the point, and fluently told me all that I needed to know
(or all that I already knew) about the album. I neg your neg. lol

But the opening is a little weak.

WashboardSuds
March 19th 2011


5101 Comments


i never liked her singing voice at all.
on the side, I don't like victoria justice's music either (more so her songs than her voice)

toxin.
March 20th 2011


12914 Comments


The better question is, why do you even bother to listen to this shit in the first place?
Unless you're a freaking middle schooler, no one listens to this garbage. Not even high school girls.

Trebor.
Staff Reviewer
March 20th 2011


55881 Comments


She still looks like she's 12
Drake And Josh forever

iFghtffyrdmns
March 20th 2011


7047 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

Wow writing this review was totally not worth fucking my approval rating...whatever, shit happens I guess haha. It's amazing how group-think works...



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