In a sea of songs about Satan and death and doom, there stands the song "Teacher's Pet", which is about ***ing your teacher.
That's basically all that needs to be said about Venom.
Venom are sometimes credited with kickstarting the whole black metal movement, and despite being one of the first bands with black metal vibes (***ty production, corpse paint, songs about the devil) they were really more of an early example of extreme metal. Fast-paced, thrashy but not thrash; it was, for the time, a unique sound. Influential to nearly every metal band that would come after it (for about two years), enter Venom's classic album Black Metal.
Understand this: They aren't that talented. They play like every other metal band ever. The vocals are probably some of the worst vocals ever, speaking from a purely professional standpoint. And the lyrics? Well, if you are looking for some Dylan-esque metaphors, or at the very least some Harris-esque rhymes about books he likes, look elsewhere. Here, you get Satan. And that's basically it.
But despite the fact that these guys could've been seen as a joke, the *** sounds good. The lack of technical ability works for Venom. Songs like the classic title track and basically all the others lay down incredibly memorable and catchy riffs, as well as choruses that anyone could groove to. It's simple, badass headbanging music for the overweight 16 year-old in all of us, which is either what we are or what we used to be. Or maybe you are the best looking ***er on the block. Either way, this is fun, balls-out heavy metal. Even a Deadhead I knew loved this ***; unless you are a true kvlt black metal guy, or just a plain dick, how can you NOT get down to this crazy ***?
Black Metal is not the be-all end-all of heavy metal like a few magazines would have you believe, but it's about forty minutes of fist-pumping, horn-throwing madness that any metalhead who DOES NOT take himself seriously should enjoy. Play it for grandma.
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