Review Summary: Forever is the sort of album which makes you re-evaluate your whole musical perspective!!! Save your money.
Way back in 2009 a review flew inconspicuously past your computer screen which dismantled in the most generous terms imaginable the debut LP of a band called Go:Audio.
Go Audio are the problem with 21st century music; bland guitars and awkward platitudes underpinning predictable and poorly executed songwriting, making for an experience I could only describe as unfit for release. But something inside the boy that reviewed
Made Up Stories hesitated to award the album a 1 out of 5, be it simply a desire to avoid needless cruelty or a genuine doubt that this was the worst conceivable pop-punk (read: pop) ever to be released. Today, I stand proud alongside that decision, as I hold in my hands Twenty Twenty's
Forever EP. I'm actually quite excited; I've found a
worse version of Go:Audio. Hell, at least those guys
tried.
That statement's going to get me a lot of stick, so let me explain: Twenty Twenty are, I'm sure, a great bunch of really, really nice guys who put in plenty of hours in the studio to get their songs sounding as smooth and inoffensive as humanly and mechanically possible. I'm sure whiny and uninteresting vocalist Sam Halliday cares passionately about making the band's fans happy. I'm sure Sam's brother, simplistic and irrelevant bassist Jack, spends hours getting ready to go on stage so he can look good for his followers. And I'm sure Sonny Watson-Lang, the band's most technically gifted member, comes off sweating at the end of every set. I'm as sure of all these things as I am of what's coming next when 'Save A Princess' introduces itself with a Bowling For Soup/Simple Plan-esque riff. I'm as sure of these things as I am of the tediously-rhymed last words of the same song's chorus. I'm as sure of these things as you were that there would be a third part to this sequence.
Because Twenty Twenty don't
try when it comes to their music. There is literally
nothing progressive or forward-thinking about their approach to the already stale pop-punk formula. They don't offer any tangible element of
fun, which is often the get-out clause for bands in this vein. They tell banal stories about teenage life, with no structural intrigue, very little technical ability, and little to no melodic awareness. Bands like All Time Low can and will be forgiven for their simple songwriting on the basis of their ability to find a hook from nowhere; here, the choruses fall flat, half owing to their linear nature and half owing to the band's lazy melody-writing. The lyrics could have been written by any 13-year-old in a rushed hour before band practice with a half-baked idea of
what the demographic wants. The group's cover of Katy Perry's Hot N Cold says pretty much everything; it adds nothing new - off-tune and forced vocals sit atop straightforward acoustic guitar - and it manages to kill the poppy sensibilities of the original in that Halliday massacres the chorus and bridge beyond most recognition.
I wanted to find redeeming qualities to this EP, if only because it would have given this review more credibility. I'm always skeptical of anybody who calls a record musically worthless; I find even Brokencyde to be in some way interesting, in some way deserving of praise for their bold-faced approach to making the music they want to make. It's not that Twenty Twenty aren't doing the same, it's just that the music they want to make is quite frankly a complete rehash of artists they list as influences - All Time Low, Boys Like Girls, Avril Lavigne, etc. - none of which were particularly innovative in the first place. Even Go:Audio crammed some hilarious synths and electronics in there to provide a jut to tense your fingers around; Twenty Twenty do nothing of the sort, and the result is a totally smooth cliff face, with the band's airbrushed promo image printed clear as day, and, to put it simply, the only way is down.
