Review Summary: fags are trying to be pirates, just say no.
Do you like the concept of pirates? They’re a bunch of dudes riding around the ocean stealin’ stuff, sea bandits, if you will. Pirates are pretty amazing, and dude, besides, they get
booty. Honestly, they’re metal enough, parrots, sea sailing and all, and we don’t need a uninspired power metal band trying to jump aboard pirate ships and trying to take that concept with them and make a fairly below average power metal record out of it.
What could be so bad about Alestorm’s
Captain Morgan’s Revenge that it makes any good fan of pirates puke on sight? Well just about everything. The fact is, each and every member of the band is trying way too hard to fit this cover, and they sound like a bunch of pretenders. The dominating, hilariously cheesy keyboards set to the ‘harpsichord’ filter, the awful, chugging guitar work and completely bland and expected 'shredding' metal solos, boring drumming keeps the same rhythm almost the entire album, non-existent bass playing, everything just fits together into this one hilariously awful puzzle. What makes this stand out from the crowd of just regular awful records is the vocalist, who sounds like he is trying his best to sound like gruff, yet somehow epic as Captain to sail this shoddy pirate ship, but instead sounds like the rest of the band; a pseudo-virtuosic power metaller trying to cover his flaws with a concept.
Nothing to see here,
Captain Morgan’s Revenge is really nothing more than regurgitated riffs from all sorts of places mixed with a laughable posturing and absolutely horrific vocals. Recommended? Only if you want a good laugh, maybe not even that.
