Review Summary: Retarded party pop with literally nothing new to offer.
Cobra Starship
Hot Mess
FueledbyRamen, 2009
It is the common opinion of many musical aficionados that modern music has deteriorated greatly over the past decade or so. Many of them will remember a time when the charts were topped by talented songwriters and musicians, and when bands such as Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd were praised for their musical abilities and incredible fan followings. Many of these people who remember these times, when music was much simpler, yet much better, will glance at the billboard top 200, and weep. For they will see that Cobra Starship's
Hot Mess has garnered an incredible amount of success.
When Cobra Starship released their debut,
When The City Sleeps, We Rule The Streets in 2006, they were ridiculed for simply hopping onto the pop-punk bandwagon that was sweeping the nation at the time. In other words, they had sold themselves out before even beginning to establish themselves as a proper band. With this album, it would appear that the sell-outs have out-sold themselves, this time attempting to milk the musical cash cow that revolves around the electronic pop singles released by so many successful (and often talentless) artists today. It is immediately apparent after listening to the first several seconds of their lead single 'Girls Gone Bad' that their music has taken a turn from bad to worse.
Auto tuning is disgustingly abundant here. Every single song contains a completely unnecessary amount of electronic vocal tampering and effects. Right away, this distances the listener and makes the album seem very overproduced. Furthermore, this simply proves that the band is simply trying to re-create the success achieved by many auto-tune abusers such as Kanye West or the Black Eyed Peas. The electronic vocals also deteriorate from what seems the be the chief talent of the band; singer Gabe Saporta. Gabe, as has been proven with the bands previous efforts, is actually a half decent singer, but unfortunately has his talents overshadowed by the horrific production techniques.
The electronic backdrop here shows absolutely no signs of innovation, with every single song containing recycled electronic beats and synth effects. Aside from the slightly catchy 'Pete Wentz Is The Only Reason We're Famous', which manages to combine pop-punk and electronica, the songs all appear to be overproduced electronic messes. The greatest offender is probably 'Good Girls Go Bad', which is a song that completely sums up every single flaw in the music industry today. The title track, 'Hot Mess' is no better, with one of the most bland electronic beats I have ever heard.
After hearing all of the blemishes and mistakes made by this band, it comes as no surprise that the lyrics are also pathetic attempts at being decent music makers. Most of the lyrical content deals with hitting on girls, partying, or playing pranks. They all manage to sound horrific, with some verses even coming across as vulgar and masochistic. On 'The World Will Never Do', the band tries to be serious and write a song about depression. Unfortunately, after the near retarded party pop lyrics of the previous eleven songs, this attempt fails and simply makes the band seem more immature and underdeveloped.
Hot Mess manages to fail as an album, as well as a humorous attempt to make mindless party music. All of those music critics who remember a time when the charts sparkled with talent and energy will have to sit back and wait until all of this mindless, semi-retarded pop wave blows over. I, for one, am going to go into a bunker and wait to a nuclear blast detonates all of mankind, thus preventing this album from ever being heard again.
