Review Summary: An album that 14 year old girls and extremely masochistic people will enjoy, this is an exercise in why murder should be legal in exclusive cases.
I'm writing this review a broken man. After listening to seventeen tracks of "Crunk-core" i don't know what to think of life anymore. If this *** somehow manages to sell, and it will, then we are doomed as a society that divulges music. Somewhere along the line when we as a whole asked our music composing kinsmen to come up with something unique and new, 4 obnoxious teens who pretend to be alcoholics and sex-fiends decided that "crunk-core" needed to be brought to fruition.
"I'm Not a Fan, but the Kids Like It" is the result of said fruition. Next to nothing good can be said about this band, its members, even the album art, which displays four scenesters of varying degrees of ridiculousness all holding a bottle of some generic alcohol. Fantastic.
I torrented this sure-to-be-***storm (i will NEVER put a dime in the wallets of Brokencyde's members) and went in expecting some level of improvement, no matter how small, over their latest "effort," the BC13 ep. What i got was 17 self-indulgent, horribly recorded, horribly played, pieces of rhinestone encrusted ***.
After a one minute long intro track of an emergency siren going off behind a wall of random and stupid synth noises, a re-recorded version of their "hit" song Freaxxx begins. I did not think it was possible to make this song worse. I was wrong. New effects have been added, and if i'm not mistaken, the horribly fake screams seem to be even MORE autotuned and ***ty. With a chorus like "Let's get freaky now, lets get ***in' freaky now," how can anything go right? The next song, the intelligently titled "Skeet" is essentially four (WTF) minutes of these retards saying "GET DRUNK! SKEET SKEET!" An intro that is somehow both un-funny and hilariously awful takes place and if you havent shot yourself yet, then the next 13 songs will drive you to it. They are ALL the same exact ***ing same premise, with the same exact horrible screams, half baked attempts at rap, stupid lyrics centered around getting crunk, partying, bitches in DA CLUB, and AntZ's (Yes, AntZ is the name of a member of this band, i am not joking) daddy dick.
The only song that might be halfway decent is Schitzo, which is one of the last songs. With a mildly enjoyably beat to it, and some screaming that might not make your ears bleed, and vaguely decent lyrics. But if you've made it to this point in the CD, you will have no faith left in the human condition, and not find this enjoyable in the least. But even this faint glimmer of hope is sullied when you remember that the song "Sex Toys" has a verse including the words "Girl, you make my pee-pee hard."
I wish this band would cease to exist. I know everyone else does too. But thank you 14 year old scene girls. I know you will stride into hot topic, take a look at yourself in the mirror, admire your skinny jeans, your dinosaur tshirt, and your purple eyeliner, then strut over to the counter and buy this CD with your daddy's money, then proceed to go home and *** someone twice your age whilst listening to it. And while you're getting off, somewhere in a record label HQ, the members of Brokencyde will become a few dollars richer, and their heads will get a little bigger as the "ka-ching" sound repeats itself over and over.
Our world is a darker place because of you, and because of Brokencyde.
