Review Summary: Unfortunately, this is not an album with a misleading title...it really is 99 tracks of phonograph needles being dropped, and subsequently lifted from a vinyl record...I'm dead serious...
For those of you who don't know, which will more than likely be all of you, I have been suffering from flu-like symptoms for the entirety of the week, and needless to say, it has been a rather unpleasant experience. I have spent most of the week confined to the couch, and have coughed up somewhere between 1 and 2 cups worth of what appears to be green rubber cement (obviously this is an estimated measurement, but I feel it is somewhat accurate). It is during periods such as this that I find myself scouring the information super highway for some minimalist/ambient music, in hopes that I can find something to calm my nerves, or at least to have some other sounds in the house other than my own coughing and wheezing that won't exacerbate my headache.
It was during one of these searches that I came upon an album review from our very own Meatplow, for an untitled album that has since been dubbed as Silver. For those unfamiliar with this review or the album, Silver is an experimental record that was recorded by pressing record on a tape player, and then burying it in a backyard. The "sounds" contained within said record consist of nothing but a nearly inaudible rumbling noise and a few other sub-bass frequencies. It claims to posses sounds of ants and various other insects making their way through their underground labyrinths, but I'm going to go ahead and classify that claim as a lie. I decided to look into the "record label" that solicited Silver, in hopes that they might actually possess a few worthwhile ambient recordings, which is where I came across the album that is the subject of this review. 99 Great Needle Drops and Lifts is very similar to the aforementioned release, as there is absolutely nothing contained within this album that could be considered proper music in any sense. The album is, quite literally, 99 separate instances of a phonograph needle being dropped onto, and lifted off of a vinyl record.
There is absolutely nothing else contained within. I actually scoured most of the tracks, in the hope that maybe there was something else going on in the background that was accidentally captured in the recording. Perhaps the guy's roommate playing guitar, a car crash, a blender running, heck even somebody stepping on a cat would be a welcome intrusion into this obscenely boring and hellish soundscape.
What baffles me is not the fact that some twit (who was more than likely incredibly high) decided that this would be an excellent idea for an album. What really baffles me is the fact that there were a few other individuals that decided that this was something that they should share with their friends...nay...the entire global musical community. This is one of the few albums that I have listened to in my 18 years that I honestly feel holds absolutely no value on any level, musical or not. The album is essentially a drink coaster that has the unfortunate ability to produce sound when placed into a cd player.
Recommended Tracks
-Well there is this really surprising bit in track 56 where a full blown orchestra comes in and plays the theme song from Good Times...just kidding.
Note: I did not do this for funniez, teh lulz, ****s and giggles, or anything else like that. I honestly feel that this album is something that the musical community should be warned about.
This review actually has many purposes...For example, I'm sure there are many others that search around various places on the internet to find good music (whether it be metal, post rock, ambient, country, or any other genre)...These people could potentially come upon this album...The purpose for this is to hopefully save said people from the ear raping atrocity that this album contains...I guess what I'm trying to say is...think before you decide to be a dick...This Message Edited On 10.24.08
