Review Summary: An 'Open Letter' to Billy Corgan...
Dear Billy Corgan,
A year’s perspective is always the best way to actually get the final impression on albums, movies, TV shows, or whatever you choose to take that perspective of. I mean, after a year, the hype has cooled considerably (especially for Zeitgeist), and you get 365 days to take a look back into what made that album. That little soundscape hidden in the back may have just not appeared to you on your gazillionth listen of an album, or that odd cymbal hit in the middle of your song-something you didn’t hear when you first ran around like a chicken with your head cut off at the release of a new album. Unfortunately, that’s what a lot of us did when Smashing Pumpkins’ Zeitgeist was released last year. Me, I admit to being one of the many who rushed to conclusion. But, hey, it was the first new Pumpkins album in seven years, your first rock record since Mellon Collie, and new band members? I couldn’t help give in to that intense hype. With the machine-gun rock single Tarantula I was ecstatic, and not to mention it overtook the radio pretty damn quickly. Tarantula had everything that made a good Pumpkins single a good Pumpkins single. Loud, ferocious guitar work, dynamic vocals (your best vocal performance on the album by far), a fantastic breakdown was so…so…Pumpkinified. The solo was damn near perfectly done, however the single was a pretty fake indicator of what Zeitgeist actually was. When it was released, the album shown as a gritty, unfinished, unemotional, fake, commercial piece of ***. And, damn right it was. Going all political and anti-American is so unoriginal, and don’t even get me started on the marketing. However, I’ve found a way to forgive you. You thought he could swoop down in all your glory and have a comeback in the vein of Green Day’s American Idiot. So, naturally, you slapped together twelve misfit tracks from over the years and put them on one album. They were all naturally able for radio play, and it seemed the Pumpkins were set for prime radio takeover. They were the best of your B-sides, all you never released, and I totally get that, so you get respect. And you basically admitted to the album’s mediocre-ness, which also gets some props. So, this year’s perspective should be enough to get you to move past Zeitgeist and realize the garbage we paid good, hard-earned money for.
Let’s look at comeback albums of the past decade, eh? Coldplay’s Viva la Vida was all new sounds, with that Coldplay charm; plus it was their best album ever. Radiohead’s In Rainbows was damn near perfect, refined, grungy, and dark. Nine Inch Nails’ With Teeth was albeit too mainstream, but still vintage Nails. Um, and what about Zeitgeist? It definitely was more like, um, Gish, than anything you’ve done in the past ten years, but it was also unlike the Pumpkins. I like re-defining what you are, but when you tread so far into the past Zeitgeist plays like a debut album, something’s wrong. Damn, Silversun Pickups, the Pumpkin rip-off act had a better debut album than Zeitgeist. That’s damn near embarrassing. How can you let that happen, Billy? Do you not care about your fans and legacy? But even if you we’re going to re-tread past waters, at least do it right. Roy Thomas Baker brought out THE WORST of you, Billy. The whole chanting choir behind you in every chorus was fairly horrid, tinny production rivaled St. Anger, and the album’s dynamics were so ***ed up! There was some actual promise in these songs, Doomsday Clock had all the tools to be a power-filled beast of an anthem, but the ***ed-up production, the “You should want it all!” verse was, well, we’ll leave that alone. 7 Shades of Black had a badass guitar tone, but the song was so makeshift and over-produced that the song was killed from the get-go. United States had the potential to EPIC, like it is live. So rampantly aggressive, but instead of screaming, you let out little pussy-ass screeches with no balls behind them at all. And, from now on, leave Zwan in the past. (Come On) Let’s Go! is inexcusable as it is, but the Zwan slather is ugly as ***. Pomp and Circumstances could have been as epic as Mayonaise, but, whatever, Corgan, you’ve got all the ‘tools’.
The marketing scheme is a whole different subject. 1 way to piss off fans and critics: Release 1,000,000 copies of the same album, each with a different B-side. To make matters worse, these B-sides trumped nearly ALL of the other songs on the original Zeitgeist, except perhaps Tarantula. But, easily Stellar and Ma Belle are the BEST songs to come from the Zeitgeist era. (Which needs to R.I.P. as soon as possible). That was inexcusable, Billy. What else is inexcusable, you might ask? The lyrics, Billy. Stop now, bud. Nobody with a standard IQ can decipher lyrics like, “all hands on deck/setting sail to get wrecked off course/you make what you want of me/I will keep you away”, or, personally my favorite “THERE’S CLOUDS IN MY SHOWER/GHOSTS IN MY ARMS”! Quality fake poetry, my good friend. I mean, at least your former pretentiousness could have been possible to withstand, but it’s getting so ***ing unbearable.
So, with this ‘open letter’ to Billy Corgan, all I’m asking is for something not so mediocre. Good production is really all I can ask for. Your creativity is still there, because the songs are strong and well-built. Bad vocals, bad production, bad track-lineup, bad marketing, goddamn the album was doomed from the start. So, even if it’s going to result in another Adore, all we, the Pumpkin faithful, want is a good, solid, well-written, well-sung, and well-produced record that we can emotionally attach to. Not another emotionless, worthless piece of art that has less artistic integrity than Weezer’s Red Album. So, please, for the sake of my fandom as well as your legacy, release an album worth a damn. It’s still there, you’ve still got the tools for another epic, but don’t *** up this time.
Sincerely,
Evan (Your #1 Fan!)
