Review Summary: From Parts Unknown, standing in at a rediculous 76 songs and weighing a massive dose of charismatic testicular fortitude......it's WWE Anthology.
Walking through the big black curtain to the eventual epic battle of man vs man, he is pumped up as the lights go down and the music blasts off. He is wearing skin tight spandex that shows off his package, boots that go up to his knees, and his charisma is at a high.
THIS is what it is like to be a professional wrestler.
Ever since Vince McMahon turned his wrestling business into an empire, his wrestlers have been using theme music. After many different records with a plethora of wrestler’s theme songs, the new WWE decided to release
WWE Anthology. This mammoth collection spans three disks and seventy-six songs. No I am not kidding, 76!!!! songs.
Now before I truly start the review, let me tell you that I am not going to mention every song. Over ¾’s of the songs on here suck pretty badly anyways. The good on here though, are actually solid songs, some even pleasurable.
Disc 1: The Federation Years
Disc 1 starts out with a little introduction by this guy who has a very awesome voice. We then get into one of the best Americana songs ever,
Real American. Hulk Hogan’s theme is extremely catchy and has some decent riffs. The highlight is the guy who is singing. Not particularly a great vocalist, he gives off a persona of a normal American guy who wants to rock out. A respectable solo is also present. Overall, one of the strongest points on this whole collection. After Real American though, this disc goes downhill real quick.
Bad Boy (Razor Ramon’s theme) has a catchy synth hook, but it doesn’t sustain the duration of the song.
Unstable (Ultimate Warrior’s theme) is an ok guitar instrumental.
Sexy Boy picks up the pace though. Shawn Michael’s theme, which is sung by him, is repetitive but extremely catchy. The solo is the middle is short, but sweet. The Nation of Domination’s theme is pretty bland, but the chanting of “WE ARE THE NATION…OF DOMINATION” over and over again is just plain cool. The last two songs are pretty average, especially
Corporate Ministry, which is just Vince McMahon’s theme and the Undertaker’s combined together.
Disc 2: The Attitude Era
With emerging talent like The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin climbing up the corporate ladder, the WWE (WWF at the time) went towards the Attitude era. We get another intro, and then we are off with the DX theme. This is probably one of the greatest wrestling themes that have ever been recorded. The vocals are a bit nu-metalish mixed with some screamo. The instruments play a simple but effective role. *Glass shatters* Stone Cold is now in the building on track 3. A familiar theme is plagued with a bit of receptiveness, but the guitar riff is so awesome. I do prefer Disturbed’s version though. Next up is the funniest wrestling theme,
A$S Man. A song about loving them, kicking them, shoving them, and kicking them is always a winner with this reviewer. My favorite though is picking them. A few more sucktacular tracks come up, but then we are saved by D’lo Brown. A catchy hook makes this a very solid hip-hop song musically. Lyrically, it’s the same verse repeated over and over with some spurts of laughter thrown in there. Now if anyone that has watched wrestling doesn’t like
Latino Heat, then something is wrong with them. This is the perfect window down, bass blaring, dice in the mirror song. Cruising around town with this tune equals a win. Triple H’s theme of
My Time is a great wrestling track, but it pales in comparison to the Motorhead versions. Even though Chris Jericho’s theme ends disc 2,
Dark Side should have had the honor. There is honestly no song in the world that has given me more chills before. This is the most haunting song that I have ever heard, especially with the spooky synths backing the Undertaker chanting in some language that I can’t comprehend. The highlight of this anthology is this song, and disc two in general is the strongest of the three.
Disc 3: NOW!
Point blank, this disc sucks pretty epically. Out of the 18 songs, there are only about 3 that are decent to good. It takes until track 10 for the first decent musical section to happen.
Eye of the Hurricane is pretty epic. Dominated by synthesizers that play a simple passage over and over again, this song shows that receptiveness isn’t all that bad.
Here Comes the Money is such a cheesy rap song, but it’s actually pretty catchy musically. Lyrically though, it’s atrocious, but in a hilarious way. I am now back tracking to track 16, which is the gayest song that has ever been conceived.
You Look So Good To Me is Billy and Chuck’s theme. That’s right, two dudes have a song called You Look So Good To Me. It’s gay musically, lyrically, and vocally. Hell, I feel gay listening to the song, but it’s actually a good pop song. If I am embarrassed with one guilty pleasure song in my life, this is the one.
WWE Anthology is mostly crap, but the eight or nine tracks that I really like on here, are actually really good. I picked this up because I collected all the wrestling albums during the time this was released. Six years later after re-listening to this, I found out that the majority of the songs just plain suck, but there are signs of greatness on here, even if it is minimal.
