|Bizarre/Horrible Albums by Great Artists|
I have had the extreme misfortune of actually listening to each of these albums released by artists who at one time or another put out great music. What were they thinking?
Prior vocalist John Corabi started the writing for this record and said, "at the end of each day we'd walk around the studio carrying our huge cocks in our hands because the music rocked so hard.” That was a lie.
Entombed doing their best Anberlin impression.
Dedicated to Chaos
Serious candidate for worst album in the history of music, featuring tracks like “Wot we Do”, “Luvnu” and “Big Noize.”
|4|| ||Scott Weiland|
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
RIP Scott, but Christmas albums are generally unforgivable.
No Ozzy/Dio, careless hair metal riffs, and even Ice-T rapping. I feel bad for Tony Martin, as he could’ve been a great vocalist in a different band.
Eye II Eye
Scorpions irresponsibly decide they’re a pop band, and release this total dud.
Torment in Hell
Laughable production and uninspired riffs deliver a death blow to this record. As user Hallowedoutchest noted in his review, “…this might have given Jesus the last laugh….”
File this under “Junkyard metal”- both literally and proverbially.
Metal Machine Music
There’s no album or art here. Just annoying, static-y, screeching noises that persist for more than an hour.
|10||Lou Reed and Metallica|
Metallica and Lou then combine talent for each’s 2nd appearance on the list.
Celtic Frost unveil Motley Crue styling hoping to cash in on commercial metal. Titles like “Dance Sleazy” and “Seduce Me Tonight” made little sense coming from the Thrash/black/death legends.
Never a Dull Moment
The Motley Crue drummer can’t sing. At all. The songwriting is worse.
Van Halen III
Their only release with ex-Extreme vocalist Gary Cherone. The lack of genuine energy is very evident, and Cherone sounds like a Sammy Hagar clone.
Illud Divinum Insanus
Only good thing about this hard-to-categorize, sci-fi album is that it spawned the YouTube video of the Stormtroopers Radikulting.
One More Light
RIP Chester. Wish this album could’ve gone instead of you.
Slaves and Masters
I actually like Joe Lynn Turner’s voice but the songs are unquestionably bad by Deep Purple standards.
Ozzy isn’t only the King of Darkness, he’s also earned the title of Destroyer of Great Songs with this covers album.
|18||Jake E. Lee|
A Fine Pink Mist
ex-Ozzy guitarist Jake E. Lee for some reason puts out this gem complete with classics like “Bludfuk.”
We don’t want to hear Eric Clapton doing 80’s Phil Collins-inspired pop songs fixed with synths, horns, and refraining choruses, we want to hear him play guitar.
Believe in Nothing
Probably the least bad album on this list, but still annoying with all the electronic and alt rock influences brought in.
If it wasn’t complete already, radio rock In Flames’ descent into irrelevance is finalized
The Unspoken King
An unsuccessful experiment in deathcore, with new vocalist Matt Mcgashy sounding almost nu-metal at times with his cleans. Yes, cleans on a Cryptopsy record.
What About Now
Clearly releasing music solely to make more money from naïve fans. He knows what he’s doing.
No Halford + nu-metal riffs = As Chuck Schuldiner would say: PULL THE PLUG.
Revolutions Per Minute
No Sebastian Bach in Skid Row? PULL THE PLUG.
The power metal legends become Infected with terrible song ideas.
The Incurable Tragedy
Once promising metal act Into Eternity pick up a far worse—Incurable—case of that same infection. A fitting album title, indeed.
The criminally under-respected guitarist of Winger tries to prove he can sing. Tries
Rob Flynn has put out great records, but he also has a strong propensity for following trends and making bad directional decisions like this nu-metal bomb.
|30||Guns N' Roses|
"The Spaghetti Incident?"
Another awful covers album. The band was too scared to even list Charles Manson’s “Look At Your Game, Girl” on the track listing. They made it a “secret track” to minimize media backlash. Sooo Rock N’ Roll of them.
The Path of Totality
Might as well take advantage of the dubstep craze right? Wrong.
Recorded while Varg Vikernes was still in prison, this album only has synthesizers, bells and a saxophone that kind of sounds like someone making a fart noise with their mouth.
With clever song titles like “Salvation”, “Sinister”, “Deception”, and “Confusion”, they were really swinging for the creative fences.
A Twisted Christmas
All Christmas albums considered, this one is actually heavy and pretty cool. But it’s still a Christmas album.
|35||All That Remains|
The Order of Things
Now fully embedded in the world of Sirius XM Octane, they are completely careless about the music. The track “Tru-Kvlt-Metal” is equal parts ironic and moronic.
Created as the score to an Australian TV show about photography, but still, nothing remotely artistic or interesting.
Diabolus in Musica
Slayer decide to “experiment.” By that, they mean conform to what everyone else was doing in 1998.
Mudvayne and ex-Pantera members brazenly assault our intelligence with this special breed of bro/fratboy/back country/I don’t really even know what the hell this is.
The New Game
Further chipping away at their credibility built on LD50, enter The New Game.
Devin Townsend has a seemingly endless vault of great ideas across many musical styles, but he just flat out whiffed on this snoozefest.
I’m getting tired of writing explanations, just look at the dumbass cover. Dokken basically go for a heavier brand of alternative rock on this one, and fail.
Dokken guitarist George Lynch masterminds this rap-metal TRAVESTY.
Jason Newsted’s now defunct alt-rock/jam band that was mind-numbingly boring.
"USA for Satan" lol.
Replaces Risk as the new Risk.
Everything is so amateurish and lazy. Blaze tries hard but he’s no Bruce.
What's in Your Head?
Brian Tatler (guitar) is the only remaining original member, and this poppy hard rock album bears no resemblance to the riff-laden classic that was Lightning to the Nations.
Music from Another Dimension
Another inadvertently honest album title. Hopefully someone--or something--out there enjoys this because no one in this dimension does.
Just a shit attempt at thrash.
World On Fire
Malmsteen’s latest record, in which he abandons songwriting altogether and gives us a soulless onslaught of arpeggios that could make a robot blush.
The train was never on the tracks here for Chris and Timbaland. RIP.