GeorgeCostanza: worst Chan's Plans ranked

GeorgeCostanza 12.14.10	ok so it's a little mean, perhaps, but not so bad. and it's pointing out specific weaknesses in each one, so i don't think it's some generic "you suck Chan" bullshit. anyway i don't see why this needs to be so controversial. it's better than the spammed cripple-porn
americanmusicmachine 12.14.10	I love "Pinkerton" it is really great.
Electric City 12.14.10	telling you, better chance of your oh-so-valuable criticism staying if you did this in the appropriate comments section than in a list
americanmusicmachine 12.14.10	I liked the cripple-porn.
Emim 12.14.10	Can't stand ya
ffs 12.14.10	dunno why youre gettin so mad about such a boring list being deleted
KILL 12.14.10	cartwright!!
Knott- 12.14.10	the critique still isn't a critique
Knott- 12.14.10	also i hadn't read the list you were complaining about being deleted until this point but holy shit this is a boring pile of waste of time with literally no value at all
omnipanzer 12.14.10	Deja Vu
PinkBlackberry 12.14.10	Absolutely useless list, that not a single person is going to support, bro. give it up
Knott- 12.14.10	also lol environmentalist paranoia
Slum 12.14.10	at least mj had a few followers, everyone just thinks you're an idiot with low self esteem. Good luck
foreverendeared 12.14.10	this guy obv wants to suck Chan's dick. he's like the 8 year old kid that makes fun of that girl in class, but secretly likes her
Irving 12.14.10	^ Hahahahahahha
Knott- 12.14.10	seriously the closest thing to critique in this list is lifted from ConsiderPhlebas, everything else disguised as critique just quotes a sentence and basically says "lol this bit's bad". this guy is seriously unintelligent.
GeorgeCostanza 12.14.10	how is it not a critique, Knott-? and plenty of the environmentalist apocalypticism out there IS nothing more than paranoia, even if it has some small foundation in reality. and for the millionth time this is not MJ lol
GeorgeCostanza 12.14.10	Knott-, the sentences i quote are almost self-evidently bad, and in every other case i talk about how painfully trite some of the metaphors are. in general all of Chan's more serious work is hackneyed and cliched but hey if you disagree man no big deal
Knott- 12.14.10	You are basically a stupid form of MJ, you have all of his nerdy awkward attention-seeking traits but none of his wit or poise or intelligence. And it's not a critique, there's no deep analysis. Here, I'll critique part of your pseudo-critique: When Mini-MJ tries his hand at genuine criticism of the text in question, the result is even less effective than his half-baked attempts at humour; for example, when he argues that "the whole thing relies this really trite forest metaphor, and tries to remind the reader at every turn how cleverly poetic it is: "Like the Strangler Fig that envelopes a thriving tree and kills it from the inside out, so the Internet is killing music," he shows himself to believe that he is making insightful and interesting comment on the nature of Chan's forcedly poetic style. Any genuine critique of this would require a sincere deconstruction of the value of the simile (not metaphor) which the author uses, rather than just a generic assertion that an entire passage is 'trite'.
GeorgeCostanza 12.14.10	hey Chan honestly do the things i say in this list bother you? i mean you've said that it's probably not going to have an effect on you or hurt your feelings. so if you don't mind it perhaps you could vouch for its remaining up to the mods
Pizza 12.14.10	LOL george costanza. didn;t read anything in here but username/picture gave me a laugh
JustJoe. 12.14.10	Persistence is futile.
BigHans 12.14.10	Hey George, the ocean called, theyre running out of shrimp!
G3N3R1C 12.14.10	So how's that job at Vandelay Industries?
conradtao 12.14.10	Hey I love Seinfeld.
SmurkinGherkin 12.14.10	'environmentalist paranoia about global warming' lolol
GeorgeCostanza 12.14.10	"say Vandelay! say Vandelay!"
thunder15 12.14.10	this whole thing deserves just a giant "who fucking cares?" because really, who fucking cares
GeorgeCostanza 12.14.10	and idk Knott- didn't Derrida himself want to distinguish between the idea of performing a "deconstruction" and the performance of a "critique"? cf. "Fichus"
Knott- 12.14.10	I don't care if he did, this is the least substantial 'commentary' I've seen in quite a while.
conradtao 12.14.10	"environmentalist paranoia" wow, you really are delusional I will concede that most people that talk about climate change aren't necessarily that well versed in the subject, but they aren't paranoid. They might rush to conclusions as most people do when faced with potentially devastating circumstances and/or consequences, but they aren't paranoid if they are dealing with some semblance of truth and reason, which you said yourself in an early comment. The polar ice caps are melting; you can see it happening right now. Somehow people love to disregard this, forgetting that when ice melts, it doesn't just disappear...it MELTS into water. If we all want to be like Ben Gibbard and spout bullshit like "now we can swim any day in November" that's all fine and good, except that people ought to not be that ignorant. But that's just me zeroing in on one sentence in your list, so feel free to take a sentence of mine out of context and use it to your advantage. Just remember that it's really easy to call you out on it.
TheBloodTypo 12.14.10	I sure as hell don't.
conradtao 12.14.10	I know I should stop talking, but one more thing. Why are people so against capping carbon emissions? Even if you believe that current climate change is just nature taking its course, what is so hard about adjusting your lifestyle to benefit the environment? Shouldn't it be a win-win solution?
Knott- 12.14.10	And I don't care about the perspective of an literary or philosophical historian or expert, I care about the perspective of sputnikmusic, which presumably is your audience, because otherwise you'd be stating your case about Chan's important Plans to said experts, except you wouldn't, because you're PSEUDO-intellectual and actually not that bright.
foreverendeared 12.14.10	people seem to forget that if it wasn't for global warming, we'd still be in an ice age. the temperature of the planet has fluctuated greatly over its existence. stop freaking out about it god
Irving 12.14.10	THINK ABOUT THE CANADIANS!!! THEY'LL ALL DROWN IF THE CAPS MELT!
sniper 12.14.10	I don't wanna talk to a scientist.
Knott- 12.14.10	But conradtao it's been really cold these last few weeks in the UK so how can the earth be getting warmer????????????????????????????????????????????
conradtao 12.14.10	lulz Speaking of which, global warming is perhaps the worst possible name for climate change..
Irving 12.14.10	But in all seriousness Conrad, I'm in Geology and there's some really good arguments against global warming, and how we might be barking up the wrong tree. That said, it should not detract at all from the sentiment that we need to do more to protect the planet. If this so-called "paranoia" makes us humans care more and do more, then I'm all for it.
sniper 12.14.10	At the risk of sounding like another butthurt user defending chan's reputation, this list kinda blows.
conradtao 12.14.10	Foreverendeared, you're forgetting the added element that is mankind; just as evolution has undergone significant telescoping in the last few centuries, we have started to alter nature in our own way as well. So yes, the planet undergoes a great deal of temperature fluctuation over millennia, but now that we've changed the course of nature with our increased industrialization and certain agricultural practices, we have to take some responsibility for what is happening as we speak. It isn't necessarily the apocalypse, but it isn't exactly great either.
Willie 12.14.10	Global warming doesn't matter anyway, because we're all part of a huge hologram. http://www.globalone.tv/group/quantumquest/forum/topics/is-the-universe-a-holographic
Sowing 12.14.10	This list is stupid.
Knott- 12.14.10	System's overheating, Trey.
thebhoy 12.14.10	not gonna like I thought 1 was super overwrought too... bad also I agree with Knott that this isn't very good criticism, which is fine except you shape it to be so. Having said that, Knott: a simile is a form of metaphor. K bye everybody!
conradtao 12.14.10	"But in all seriousness Conrad, I'm in Geology and there's some really good arguments against global warming, and how we might be barking up the wrong tree." Definitely! I can't remember his name right now but a very highly respected earth scientist (I think he's at Cornell but I might be wrong) has been a very public skeptic about climate change, presenting interesting and valid arguments against it. Which is, in the end, a good thing, because it encourages thorough research. Science progresses through disagreement and disprovings, so the more discussion, the better. The problem I think is that climate change gets so politicized that it's hard to actually have a legitimate discussion about the actual issues at hand (that applies to pretty much any heated topic, however).
thebhoy 12.14.10	^yep. Anything that gets politicized gets ruined, frankly.
GeorgeCostanza 12.14.10	i do not believe that the environmentalists' predictions about climate change are completely unfounded; rather, i think that their solutions are extremely problematic. all of their talk about international regulations and cutting down on emissions and so on avoid the core problem of the global mode of production. first of all, companies seem to already be selling themselves as "Green," so that consumers can feel ethically justified in buying their products. despite their protestations to the contrary, "radical environmentalism" has already been safely absorbed into the all-consuming fold of mainstream capitalism also, many environmentalists feel that nature is something separate from us and regard it as something that must be respected, as "sacred," and view any human attempt to exploit the environment as an intrusive violation. the problem is that ALL biological organisms exploit their environment, not just humans. human beings just happen to be extremely efficient at it, because they are able to think systematically and understand instrumental logic and the relationship between cause and effect. the present environmental crisis is the result of the anarchy of private interests trying to supervalue their products through dangerous ecological exploitation. a better social formation would coordinate the human domination of nature to maximize efficiency and sustainability, increase society's self-conscious mastery over its surroundings, and make sure that civilization's ruthless exploitation of nature can continue unabated
Knott- 12.14.10	Meh, I'm a linguist so in my field they're different figures of style but it was flawed anyway because it was an extended metaphor if I remember correctly so I was just being a bitch. That said, my critique of the critique is a more substantial critique than the original critique.
foreverendeared 12.14.10	The thing is, there is nothing we can do to change what's happening and what will happen in the future. Like idiots that think switching from a car to a bicycle makes a difference. It doesn't. Not even if every single person in the world switched to a bicycle.
Electric City 12.14.10	reporting all the global warming talk itt
Knott- 12.14.10	But it alleviates your misplaced guilt, though, so it's all good. Also it reduces traffic congestion. Bonus!
Knott- 12.14.10	Do it Adam! It's distracting people from the important real point of this list!
Thane 12.14.10	Who gives a shit, we will all die sooner or later anyway. The earth has existed for this long and everyone are going on about "ohh we have to save it". Truth is, we want to save ourselves. The earth will be fine. We won't. Who cares.
BigHans 12.14.10	Environmentalists are faggots anyway
GeorgeCostanza 12.14.10	i actually think that the problem of the environment does need to be politicized, and that the question of what can be done to change it should be posed as a social problem. i.e. as being founded on the basis of a reorganization of society on new principles moreover, many of the movements that are associated with environmentalism that claim to be progressive are in fact extremely reactionary and politically perverse. the "locavore" movement, where you only eat food that is grown locally, is anachronistic and frankly sucks balls. it's founded on this romanticized image of bucolic simplicity, the honest, hard-working family farm buried in ignorance, sexism, and superstition, and an organic relationship to the land. if the globalized production and circulation of foodstuffs were to be stopped, however, the result would be mass starvation, the depopulation of all major urban centers, and the regression to a semi-feudal society. it just sucks not to mention all of the weird fascist undertones inherited from Germanic naturalism, the vitalistic view of nature as this organic, self-sufficient state of harmony in which is maintained a delicate balance of life. also contributing to this ideology is the whole Luddite distrust of machines and so on, etc.
porch 12.14.10	"The birds sing dirges, low and weighty, and the sky is always vomiting and grey in the face like a seasick tourist evacuating his vices into the water" yeah this is an awful line also fuck this thread
GeorgeCostanza 12.14.10	"The thing is, there is nothing we can do to change what's happening and what will happen in the future. Like idiots that think switching from a car to a bicycle makes a difference. It doesn't. Not even if every single person in the world switched to a bicycle." yeah exactly and this is why lifestyle politics is a bunch of shit
DGTLPRTY 12.14.10	This list sucks almost as much as you.
conradtao 12.14.10	"the "locavore" movement, where you only eat food that is grown locally, is anachronistic and frankly sucks balls. it's founded on this romanticized image of bucolic simplicity, the honest, hard-working family farm buried in ignorance, sexism, and superstition, and an organic relationship to the land." Very true, not to mention that it's economically flawed. Thread > list js
Jakeitwasaghost 12.14.10	Puffy shirt.
GeorgeCostanza 12.14.10	well besides the environmentalism thing, which is fine to talk about, what do other people think are the worst Chan's Plans? which do you think are the best? and what makes the worst ones bad and what makes the best ones good and so on
BigTuna 12.14.10	Michael Crichton doesn't like global warming so I don't like global warming
foreverendeared 12.14.10	he's dead though so what does he care and I don't read the staff blogs because I find them boring
BigTuna 12.14.10	don't you ever smudge his name again user foreverendeared
GeorgeCostanza 12.14.10	"I don't read the staff blogs because I find them boring" yeah fair enough i just am occasionally drawn to read them out of morbid curiosity i wonder which ones Chan himself considers to be his worst and his best
Curse. 12.14.10	foreverendeared fuck you for questioning the Cricht
foreverendeared 12.14.10	sowwy :[ oh and: The Environmental Paradox of Bicycling http://opim.wharton.upenn.edu/~ulrich/documents/ulrich-cycling-enviro-jul06.pdf
Curse. 12.14.10	"oh and: The Environmental Paradox of Bicycling http://opim.wharton.upenn.edu/~ulrich/documents/ulrich-cycling-enviro-jul06.pdf" tl;dr what does it say
foreverendeared 12.14.10	switching to bicycles from cars actually hurts the environment
Irving 12.14.10	@ Conrad: I'm unfamiliar with this prof you speak of, but I had my eyes opened to the issue because I took a class with this one guy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ian_Clark_%28geologist%29) at my university, who spent the latter half of his course just tearing open the whole "global warming" issue and looking at each and every argument for and against it. Ultimately the message he left us with was the one I relayed earlier: be thorough and sure what the causal factors are (cause even the top minds aren't 100% sure), but at the same time - if you can - don't be a dick to the environment. Lol. Cool guy. Bloke appears in this Uk documentary too (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Global_Warming_Swindle). Hahah sorry thread hijacked.
Electric City 12.14.10	chan's said it already, his best and worst is pit and wiz
Emim 12.14.10	"THINK ABOUT THE CANADIANS!!! THEY'LL ALL DROWN IF THE CAPS MELT!" Problem? The base problem is that climate cannot be established except through the averages and data of 30 years; we simply haven't been paying attention long enough.
thebhoy 12.14.10	"if the globalized production and circulation of foodstuffs were to be stopped, however, the result would be mass starvation, the depopulation of all major urban centers, and the regression to a semi-feudal society" Unfortunately some people would love this to happen.
Knott- 12.14.10	All human greed is the result of skyscrapers.
Irving 12.14.10	Erm, Emim, we can take data logs from the ice in ice caps. Stuff there stays preserved for ages. In other words, we've got records that stretch back thousands of years.
thebhoy 12.14.10	All human skyscrapers are a result of cheeseburgers. mmmmm
Knott- 12.14.10	All cheeseburger skyscrapers are a result of human.
foreverendeared 12.14.10	All human cheeseburgers are a result of skyscrapers??
Irving 12.14.10	All results are a cheeseburger of human skyscrapers. ^ Exam-influenced word swap.
Knott- 12.14.10	Are all cheeseburgers a skyscraper of human results?
foreverendeared 12.14.10	now your just reaching man

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