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12.11.10 Metal Awards....because Y'know Kerrang

Metal Awards....because Y'know Kerrang Sucks

A quick list on things I feel some bands deserve an award for. (Note:Metal only)
None So Vile

The award for the most demented vocalist goes to Lord Worm, Mainly for his bat shit crazy vocals on 'Crown Of Horns.'

The award for the most inhuman vocalist goes to Demilich. I mean seriously! You ever heard vocals like that? Not even the slam metal bands you see around do that sort of thing with their voice. The vocals are simply beyond description.
Butcher The Weak

The award for the most brutal band without sounding unbearable goes to Devourment and their album Butcher The Weak. As much as I enjoy Slam Death Metal it does tend to leave me in a state of severe boredom and a hunger for something more mentally stimulating but this does not apply to Butcher The Weak. It is simply an incredible demonstration of Slam at it's catchiest and most grooving mainly because of the drummer.
4Brain Drill
Quantum Catastrophe

The award for major wankery goes to Brain Drill. Now I'm not one to hate Brain Drill but on their second album they just went completely overboard on the wankery. Whereas Brain Drills first album was in my opinion very enjoyable Quantum Catastrophe just took things too far. It has it's bright moments particularly at songs such as 'Beyond Bludgeoned' and the solos in 'Quantum Catastrophe' but at the end of the day a 16 minute song composed purely of wank and ambiance towards the end just makes you want evacuate your bowels in the most brutal way possible.
Butcher The Weak

The award for the best drummer goes to Devourment. Yes I'm a bit of a Devourment fan but hey, there is no denying that one of the aspects of Butcher The Weak which makes it so successful is the drumming. I mean 'Babykiller' just wouldn't sound right if some sub-standard person took the kit.
6Bullet For My Valentine

The award for the most disappointing album for highly anticipating fans goes to Bullet For My Valentine. Trust me...I found it hilarious when everyone complained how bad it was despite being long term fans of the band. I laughed even more when I saw that after one month my local HMV was inundated with copies of the album and were forced to sell them at 3.
7Cephalic Carnage
Lucid Interval

The award for the most catchiest riff goes to Cephalic Carnage and their song Lucid Interval. Fans of the band know how goddamn memorable this song is and with one listen you'll see why. See it live like I did.....you'll ejaculate.

The award for the biggest tribute album ever recorded goes to Obscura. I love this band a lot but it's plainly obvious to see that they are a walking shredding blasting tribute band. They draw upon elements of Cynic, Atheist and Death and hell they're even named after a Gorguts album! Seriously Cosmogenesis is nothing to be sniffed at as the material is great but don't be surprised if you feel like you're listening to Symbolic era Death.
9Municipal Waste
The Art Of Partying

The award for the funnest album goes to Municipal Waste. Ok musically it's not exactly incredible but this album is particularly fun....The end track 'Born To Party' simply seals the deal with the shouts of "MUNICIPAL WASTE IS GONNA FUCK YOU UP!!!"
10The Locust
Plague Soundscapes

The award for the most retarded album goes to The Locust.....I really don't think this deserves an explanation except for the fact that one listen is enough to make people wonder what the hell just happened.
Waking Into Nightmares

The award for the most thrashing album of 2010 goes to Warbringer. It's simple, this album slays. It slays the way Slayer(Lame pun)did back in their heyday, it slays in the same manner that He-man does.....only not as camp.
12 Dismember
Like An Ever Flowing Stream

The award for the best debut album goes to Dismember. Ok I know most people prefer Entombed to Dismember but still, this album is fucking incredible, if you looked up Death Metal in a metal dictionary you would find the Dismember logo.
13 Control Denied
The Fragile Art Of Existance

The award for the most emotional solo goes to Control Denied and their song 'When The Link Becomes Missing.' There is better out there....much better in terms of emotion and soloing but still this for me is a particularly emotional solo. I mean this one of the last things Chuck Schuldiner had ever written and recorded and that impact is simply incredible. Whenever I listen to this solo I always picture Chuck Schuldiner on top of a mountain playing this incredible guitar solo.
14 Annotations Of An Autopsy
The Reign Of Darkness

The award for the biggest improvement goes to Annotations of An Autopsy. Well many people will go against what I say but the transformation this band went through is incredible. Granted I have a slight soft spot for the abominations their older material were but still everything and I mean EVERYTHING is just infinitely superior. Vocals, Guitars and drums all sound infinitely better.....bass....we'll just assume that's better, it probably would if we could hear it better.
Show your colors

The award for the most insane and bravest changes in style goes to Amoral. Put simply many fans of the band were horrified that their once brutal band had changed into Power Metal. It's incredible after the loss of their original vocalist that a band takes a move like that and although I don't like the material that much I have to give kudos to the boys in Amoral seeing as they've done something that's more likely to give a fan backlash than Cryptopsy posting a song about how their fan-base sucks and have taken the brunt and survived.
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