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User
Reviews 5
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Last Active 05-02-20 3:07 am
Joined 09-02-10
Review Comments 21,827
| Army Of One...
I have no idea but this came to mind on my drive in to work today:
So, in the mid nineties when I was 18 I had graduated high school
and was completely aimless. One night after being up for 36 hours
roughly 10 of which were spent at various Waffle Houses and
having had multiple conversations about going nowhere slow my
buddy Kev and I made the decision to join the Army. We shaved
his head (I didn?t want my head shaved) sacked up and headed
on down to the recruiters office.
We took the pre-test and did well enough to get the recruiters
frothing at the mouth and were introduced to the officer in charge
of the area as he happened to be there for the day. We agreed to
go take the ASVAB (I?ve always heard it pronounced ass-vab or
az-vab) the next weekend and headed home and eventually
crashed. After about 15 hours of sleep we woke up and
immediately decided that there was no way in hell we were going
into the army.
We called the recruiter and backed out of the appointment for
that weekend. Roughly an hour later the commanding officer
called to inform us that we were fucking pussy retards that
deserved to be disemboweled and beheaded. Luckily for us we
were crashing at our crazy anti-authoritarian friend?s house who
took great pleasure in taking over the conversation as he was
always looking for an opportunity to cut his teeth on an insult
veteran. Once it was decided that the officer was going to come
and kill us the call was terminated. Roughly an hour after that the
original recruitment officer called to apologize and explain that the
commanding officer was unstable and would be retired in a few
weeks/months (I don?t remember). He also assured us that no
one would be killing anyone.
Anyone else have a pleasant recruitment story like this? List is
digs and new stuff for today. | | 1 |  | Taste
On the Boards | | 2 |  | HUM
You'd Prefer An Astronaut | | 3 |  | HUM
Downward Is Heavenward | | 4 |  | Mind.In.A.Box
Crossroads | | 5 |  | Crosses
EP | | 6 |  | Team Sleep
Team Sleep | | 7 |  | Quicksand
Manic Compression | | 8 |  | Supergrass
In It for the Money | | 9 |  | Supergrass
I Should Coco | | 10 |  | Texas is the Reason
Do You Know Who You Are? | |
omnipanzer
08.16.11 | Fuck i hate crazy old army dudes. | Eskate87
08.16.11 | 2-7 fuck. yes. | omnipanzer
08.16.11 | I agree sir. | Neurisis of Luna
08.16.11 | how old are you | MO
08.16.11 | Perfect story of why I would never bother with the army. | SeaAnemone
08.16.11 | why the fuck would you have the idea to join the army in the first place, especially if you weren't committed at all?
| omnipanzer
08.16.11 | ^ We were all hopped up on caffeine and sleep deprivation. It was an idea and then it was a bad idea.
"how old are you"
35 bro | omnipanzer
08.16.11 | 34... Jesus, I don't even know my own age. | SeaAnemone
08.16.11 | I think it was Rick James who once said,
caffeine's a helluva drug | Neurisis of Luna
08.16.11 | man you're like the 2nd oldest guy in the site
that said list rules | omnipanzer
08.16.11 | How old are you Eric? Are you about Nicks age (26 I think)? | SeaAnemone
08.16.11 | well, some states consider me 20, and some consider me 22..
... but yeah I'm 20 | omnipanzer
08.16.11 | Thanks Chambered.
Gotcha Sea. | omnipanzer
08.16.11 | "caffeine's a helluva drug"
Sleep deprivation is a helluva hallucinogenic. | fsharptrit0ne
08.16.11 | quite a story there omni
My friend just got back from the marines a couple days ago, fuck he had some crazy stories | omnipanzer
08.16.11 | The guy that lived a crossed the hall was about our age and he was like ooo let me get my camo on. He came back like 15 minutes later in full gear with grease paint and 45mm H&K... ready to rock.
He was fucking weird, we just had him smoke a joint and go zone somewhere while we hid his pistol. |
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