Songs For When Ya Can't See Ya Dick Cept When Ya Hard
...and ya can't get hard no more. I'm bringing my "songs for..." series of lists into a whole new astral plane of reason and science. This list is for us fat white men who suffer from impotence. We are united in our struggle. List iz songz and thoughtz and recollectionz. |
| 1 |  | Joe Pug
Nation of Heat
"Nation of Heat" - If you look long enough into the iris of my eyes you'll see I have no soul and am destined for hell. |
| 2 |  | Giant Sand
Long Stem Rant
"The Jig Zup" - I joined the Baader-Meinhof Group last night and tonight I will set fire to the Texas State Capitol. |
| 3 |  | The Avett Brothers
I and Love and You
"Head Full of Doubt / Road Full of Promise" - FBI if you are monitoring my online activity, and I know that you scum-sucking bastards are, no that last bit was a joke. Also know that I fucked J. Edgar's corpse this morning and have enough explosions to blot out the sun. And I am crazy, unhinged even. |
| 4 |  | Centro-matic
All the Falsest Hearts Can Try
"The Blisters May Come" - That last bit was also a joke, Mr. FBI Man. |
| 5 |  | McDougall
Ramble
"The Cotton Picker's Song" - I have run out of thoughts and recollections, but know I am still full of surprise. |
| 6 |  | Kevin Drew
Spirit If...
"TBTF" - I once told a woman she was too beautiful to fuck and she said I was too ugly to fuck. We certainly weren't kindred spirits but we reached a reasonable accord on the fucking business. |
| 7 |  | Caitlin Rose
Own Side Now
"For the Rabbits" - Would you consider a man/woman/dog a hero if the devoured a rabbit's heart for essentially no reason except to steal the lifeforce of another being? |
| 8 | | Tom T. Hall
Poet, Storyteller, Philosopher
"Spokane Motel Blues" - A veritable renaissance man Mr. Hall is. |
| 9 |  | Centro-matic
Fort Recovery
"Patience for the Ride" - This band is sorely underrated in that it seems like they don't enough accolades and such. |
| 10 |  | Silver Jews
The Natural Bridge
"Pet Politics" - I have lost my job for getting a skunk named Jiminy to pretend to be me and do my job for me so I could y'know get the day off. He bit an old woman in the toliet paper aisle and I had already been warned for that kinna shit. Me and Jiminy are just too much alike, two peas in the pod and such. |
| 11 |  | Centro-matic
Operation Motorcide
"74 Cuts 74 Scars" - Have you trided that cereal that y'know is shaped like cap'n crunch but a little bigger and has chocolate insided of it. That shit's good. |
| 12 |  | Deerhoof
Offend Maggie
"This is God Speaking" - So I'm reading a book, a really good one I should add, called "Strange Days Indeed" about the 1970s and how paranoia seemed to infect everyone including people you would expect to be more reasonable and shit. From it I've learned all these people were fucking wacko: Nixon, Mao, Brezhnev (he more reasonable then the other two), Phillip K. Dick, Norman Mailer, Harold Wilson, Fredrick Forsyth (he nearly attempted to overthrow the maniacal leader of Equatorial Guinea with French soldiers of war), and my god G. Gordon Liddy was a fucking Nazi fetishist who worked for the White House and with all sincerity told Chuck Colson he was will to assasinate Nixon's political enemies and he wasn't fired immediately he was promoted. What the fuuuuuuuuck. |
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