paxman
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Last Active 01-12-13 5:00 pm
Joined 05-24-09

Review Comments 4,084

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01.20.13 Bioshock Ultimate Rapture Edition01.12.13 I Am The One Who Knocks!
10.17.12 Drugs And Art09.28.12 My Mom Just Gave Me Head
09.10.12 Katy Perry Ranked08.18.12 My Suicide Playlist
08.15.12 Who Watched The Colbear Report Last Nig08.12.12 Fuel!
08.02.12 Chick Filol07.16.12 Who's Watching The Breaking Bad Season
07.09.12 Somebody Post The New Grizzly Bear News07.02.12 Bear
06.23.12 Aussies Are Secksy05.09.12 Seeing Thrice Tonight
04.05.12 10 Coolest Things About Texas03.30.12 Spring Mmmmmm/
03.19.12 I'm An Incomparable Idiot When It Comes12.18.11 a paxman 2011
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You Know You're A Douchebag If...
1Avenged Sevenfold
City of Evil

...you listen to Avenged Sevenfold. This one is obvious. Bat Country is
possibly the douchiest song ever written, miring itself in douchebaggery
within the first few seconds with the psuedointellectual, quasi-profound Dr.
Johnson quote, "He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of
being a man." What does that even mean? That by becoming feral one
becomes a transcendent being? No thanks, I'll keep my toilet paper, my
showers, and my literature--you douchebags can keep your Bat Country.
2Hollywood Undead
American Tragedy

...you wear Ed Hardy, MMA, or UFC clothing. Seriously. Who the hell wants
to wear a shirt with a bedazzled dragon running across its length? Or a hat
covered in glitter and sequins? Not only is this douchey, it's faggy. The
same goes for MMA and UFC. I've never seen such latent homosexuality.
3Brokencyde
Will Never Die

...you drive a truck with tires four or five feet tall, when in no circumstance
whatsoever would it be practical to do so. I bet you look like an idiot
climbing into the damn thing. I also bet you have a small penis. And having
any kind of accessory lighting on your vehicle is just plain retarded.
43OH!3
Want

...you have a tattoo of a flame, a skull, a sword, a snake, a skull with bat
wings (see 1), a flaming skull, a flaming sword (homo), a flaming snake
(even homo-er), a sword through a skull, a snake wrapped around a sword
(gay), a snake wrapped around a skull and emerging through an eye
socket, or a sword through a skull wrapped in a snake that's on fire. Gay.
5Cobra Starship
Hot Mess

...you sit in a blind all day, waiting for a deer to wander to the estrus you
poured twenty feet away, and shoot the deer in the eye with a crossbow.
You lazy piece of shit. I bet you have a small penis too.
6Gym Class Heroes
As Cruel As School Children

...you watch MTV. Jersey Shore is the epitome of television douchebaggery,
though it's got some tough competition with MTV's other shows. If I had a
kid, I'd rather let him/her watch Hobo With A Shotgun than any of the trash
on MTV.
7Fall Out Boy
From Under The Cork Tree

...Monster is your favorite beverage (and especially if you have a tattoo of
the Monster emblem [4] or have a decal of the Monster emblem on the back
window of your truck [3]). Real men drink coffee.
8Panic! At the Disco
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out

...play Black Ops on Xbox Live and shout "N****," "bitch," or "faggot," into
the mic to insult someone. You're so articulate.
9Buckcherry
Fifteen

...you have "Crazy Bitch" as a ringtone. Go fuck yourself.
10Hinder
Extreme Behavior

...you are insulted by this list. Thanks for reading, guys!
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