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Last Active 04-29-20 1:18 pm Joined 10-01-04
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| 'London Calling' Ranked
One of the best albums in punk rock history, and an enduring masterpiece over 40 years after its release, The Clash's London Calling is considered by many to be stellar from top to bottom. But is it really? And what songs can stake a claim to being the best of the best? Read on and find out! | 19 | | The Clash London Calling
The Card Cheat
The only outright poor song on the album, this ungainly, messy Bowie/Queen/T-Rex soundalike is every bit as cringey as the concept of a punk band unironically attempting to write a glitter/glam rock anthem might indicate. Turgid. | 18 | | The Clash London Calling
I'm Not Down
So throwaway and forgettable even most fans will probably not remember it exists, this bog-standard Clash album cut will go in one ear and out the other, leaving no lasting impression on the listener whatsoever. | 17 | | The Clash London Calling
Train In Vain
This barely two-minute-long slab of...something was originally a bonus track, having been officially added to the tracklist only after the fact, in time for the album's numerous re-issues - and it definitely shows. While undoubtedly charming, the song is not particularly memorable or in any way exciting, ultimately serving as just another fair-to-middling track in the already padded final third of the album. | 16 | | The Clash London Calling
Lovers Rock
And speaking of 'just another fair-to-middling track', this cut fits that description to a T. While undeniably more appealing than its surrounding fare, at least upon first contact, the song ultimately adds nothing new to the table, settling for reusing motifs from other (better) songs on the album, and letting the runtime extend a little further than would have been ideal, resulting in a feeling of repetition. Not a bad track by any means - just not a particularly good one, either. | 15 | | The Clash London Calling
The Right Profile
The one weaker song on the otherwise stellar first half of the album, this track has the right idea compositionally speaking, but buries it under a cluttered and unpleasant arrangement, which ultimately detracts from its effectiveness. Even still, it is at least memorable, which is more than can be said for most of the lower-seeded cuts on this list. | 14 | | The Clash London Calling
Four Horsemen
Comfortably a top 3 song as far as the back half of the album is concerned, this is a fun, typically Clash-y ditty, which corrects some of the flaws of its immediate predecessor (the length, for starters) while retaining others (the re-hashing of ideas from elsewhere on the album.) On average, it does just enough to edge out all but two of the songs that surround it, but never even threatens to touch any of the genuinely inspired tracks on the album, settling for a 'best of the worst' position which, while perhaps not quite flattering, is not particularly damning either. | 13 | | The Clash London Calling
Brand New Cadillac
If Four Horsemen is ‘the best of the worst’, Koka Kola is ‘the worst of the best’. A decent slice of acerbic pop-punk, it nevertheless fails to pack as much of a punch as what came before it, effectively standing as the watershed track of the album. | 12 | | The Clash London Calling
Brand New Cadillac
On most other albums, this fun and memorable two-minute slice of pure rockabilly would be an easy standout; on London Calling, however, it does not QUITE measure up to its surrounding tracks, thus becoming one of two perfectly worthy songs to just miss out on a Top 10 spot. | 11 | | The Clash London Calling
Spanish Bombs
The OTHER worthy song to barely miss the Top 10. It’s hard to pinpoint what exactly keeps this one on the bottom half of this list, but when compared to the tracks on the actual Top 10, it’s just as easy to see how it might fall just short – it’s not so much a question of this song doing anything wrong as the other songs doing nearly everything right. | 10 | | The Clash London Calling
Clampdown
Another track which starts off memorable and appealing enough, only to wear out its welcome ever so slightly towards the end. It does, however, do enough up until then to ingratiate itself with the listener, and earn itself the bottom spot in a hard-fought Top 10 selection. | 9 | | The Clash London Calling
Jimmy Jazz
Boasting the third in a trio of impactful opening lines on the album, this jazzy ska number falters only in its final stretch, when it runs a little overlong (an issue which plagues several of the songs on this album.) Even still, a definite Top 10 contender, if only on the bottom half. | 8 | | The Clash London Calling
Death or Glory
Once again, the placement of this track comes down to some stiff competition, as opposed to anything it does particularly wrong. It’s a fantastic track, defiant, brash and with a memorable chorus; in the toss-up that is the lower half of this Top 10, however, it gets edged out – if only just – by a couple of other songs, justifying its inclusion only at number 8. | 7 | | The Clash London Calling
Guns of Brixton
Proud owner of the most defiantly in-your-face opening line this side of the Sex Pistols, Paul Simonon’s only vocal contribution to the album is another contender in the Great Top 10 Toss-Up Competition, where it ends up edging out a couple of tracks, but not quite presenting enough arguments to tussle with the top dogs – thus slotting in at a dignified seventh position on the list. | 6 | | The Clash London Calling
Lost in the Supermarket
A perfect pop song with decidedlypunk lyrics, Supermarket is both one of the most instantly appealing and enduringly memorable tracks on the record. The problem? There are five others which have those attributes, relegating it to an ever-frustrating ‘sixth out of five’ position. | 5 | | The Clash London Calling
Revolution Rock
Yet another track afflicted by the Curse of the Overlong Coda (there is no reason at all for this to be over four minutes long, let alone almost five), this reggae cover nevertheless cancels out that one flaw by doing everything else absolutely fantastically, making it not only far and away the best song on the otherwise dreary back half of the album, but a top 5 cut for the entire record. Not bad for a cultural appropriation attempt by a bunch of white Brits. | 4 | | The Clash London Calling
Hateful
A fantastic dub song in its own right, Hateful once again suffers mainly from being up against such distinguished opponents, just missing out on a much-coveted spot in the Top 3. Make no mistake, however – this is absolutely a great song, with one of the most effective choruses in the entire album to top it off. | 3 | | The Clash London Calling
Rudie Can’t Fail
Speaking of great choruses, meet the biggest earworm in the entire record. Rudie’s chorus wiggles its way into the listener’s brain and refuses to leave for days, if not weeks. The best part being, the rest of the song is just as catchy, and bound to get even the most unsuspecting of punkers swaying and bopping across their living room right from the intro riff. Absolutely a top 3 contender, and a strong candidate for the number 2 spot on any given day. | 2 | | The Clash London Calling
Wrong ‘Em Boyo
Speaking of songs which will get listeners bopping, this is another one which will at least make even the most reluctant feet shuffle with its ska beat, infectious vocal lines, snarky lyrics and shout-ready chorus. Along with Rudie, Hateful and the cover of Revolution Rock, it is proof positive that yes, white boys CAN skank – and do it just as well as any West Indian. A strong candidate for best song on the album, were it not for… | 1 | | The Clash London Calling
London Calling
To put it bluntly, London Calling does everything right. From its memorable intro line (which loses out only to Guns of Brixton in that department) to its catchy staccato riff to the meaningfully acerbic lyrics, this is as perfect an encapsulation of The Clash’s style as anyone is likely to find – and one of the best songs of the entire original wave of British punk rock. A triumph through and through, and well worth its hard-fought spot at the head of what is a stellar list from top to (almost) bottom. | |
RadioSuicide
03.10.21 | train in vain is a bop. | Trebor.
03.10.21 | I hate Lover's Rock and Card Cheat so much
Train in Vain rules
ahhhhhhhhhhhh guns of Brixton | porcupinetheater
03.10.21 | “it is proof positive that yes, white boys CAN skank”
Can’t remember the last time I’ve hated reading a sentence this much | OSEL
03.10.21 | train in vain is a bop. [2]
and should be in the top 3 | DocSportello
03.10.21 | train in vain [3]
also Jimmy Jazz. May even be my favorite | JohnnyoftheWell
03.10.21 | fuck outta here with that Card Cheat take | OSEL
03.10.21 | >also Jimmy Jazz. May even be my favorite
my guy! | Slugboiiii
03.10.21 | This is so bad. Train in Vain is easily top 5. London Calling is overrated. Rudie Can't Fail is number 1. Guns of Brixton is number 2 | ReturnToRock
03.11.21 | At least you guys only disagree with me on that one song. I knew you would though. | bobbydylan
03.11.21 | Solid list, man | widowslaugh123
03.11.21 | Ok what the fuck is this shit | JohnnyoftheWell
03.11.21 | gotta confess, i stopped reading after 19 the first time around. good decision, jfc what a mess. bottom 3 are all criminal | RadioSuicide
03.11.21 | turgid, even | DamnVanne
03.11.21 | Best punk album is like the puppy bowl MVP | RadioSuicide
03.11.21 | what | zakalwe
03.11.21 | Death or Glory is not only the best from this album it’s one of the greatest of all time. Says everything there is to say. | tom79
03.11.21 | card cheat rules. growing up i always thought lover's rock was a weak point but i now realize even that song rules. perfect album. | ReturnToRock
03.11.21 | I'd like to disclaim that The Card Cheat is the ONLY song I actively dislike on this. The rest...well, I had to rank them SOMEHOW. They're all really good, though - the entire middle portion of this list (say, #5 to like #17) would be easily interchangeable. | zakalwe
03.11.21 | ‘card cheat rules. growing up i always thought lover's rock was a weak point but i now realize even that song rules. perfect album.’
Yep, exactly the same. I used to think the album was ridiculously overrated as well but I was wrong. | Pheromone
03.11.21 | Hateful is my favourite on here but the entire abum (pre much) is a scorcher
great list | DoofDoof
03.11.21 | I'd definitely swap Revolution Rock with The Right Profile in these placings...tbh Revolution Rock and I'm Not Down are the only spot I really start to lose a bit on concentration with the album
Lover's Rock to Revolution Rock is a 3.5 stretch for me but the rest of the album is a 5...so overall the album is an easy 5 | DoofDoof
03.11.21 | Also I never heard 'Card Cheat' as glam rock - more some sort of olde time barroom rock, the piano dominates, not the best here but prefer it to the following four songs
Also thought 'Wrong em Boyo' was established as the weakest up to 'Card Cheat' - yeah I don't really get this list | DoofDoof
03.11.21 | 5 / London Calling / Guns of Brixton / Lost in the Supermarket
4.5 / Spanish Bombs / Rudie Can't Fail / Death or Glory / Hateful / Clampdown
4 / Cadillac / Jimmy Jazz / Right Profile / Koka Kola / Train in Vain (just)
3.5 / Wrong 'em / Card Cheat / Lover's Rock / Rev Rock / Horsemen / I'm Not Down
Something like that, second half of the album is markedly weaker for me | Pheromone
03.11.21 | Yeah second half is weaker, first half has some of my all time favourite punk
Lost in the Supermarket is a top pick | JohnnyoftheWell
03.11.21 | Think Hateful might also be my fave, not exactly the smoothest ride here but fuck me does it go.
Card Cheat is a 5, but otherwise Doof has brought order to this shameful, shameful scene | DoofDoof
03.11.21 | Guess I'm somewhere in the middle with 'Card Cheat' | ReturnToRock
03.11.21 | London Calling to Koka Kola, the album is a 5, with only The Right Profile and maaaaybe Kola being slightly weaker.
Remaining songs are a 3/3.5 except for Revo which I've always loved, and Card Cheat which is probably more of a 2.5 for me.
Swap Revo and Profile and it's an album of two halves, one a 5/5 and the other a 3.5/5.
Overall I'd probably rate it a 4 to 4.5 though, as even the weaker songs are still really good out of context (Cheat notwithstanding.) | ReturnToRock
03.11.21 | @Doof I agree in the main. I'd swap Wrong'Em, Revo Rock and Horsemen with Clampdown, Spanish Bombs and Train in Vain, respectively.
5/5 London Calling / Rudie
4.5 Wrong 'Em / Supermarket / Death or Glory / Hateful / Jimmy Jazz
4 Koka Kola / Cadillac / Clampdown / Revo Rock
3.5 Horsemen / Train in Vain / Right Profile / Lovers' Rock
3 I'm Not Down
2.5 Card Cheat
Something like that. | DoofDoof
03.11.21 | I love Spanish Bombs, that's definitely top 5 | Piglet
03.11.21 | every song is 1 | Gyromania
03.11.21 | train in vain being 3rd last is a massive fail bro | ReturnToRock
03.11.21 | @Piglet pretty much, apart from Card Cheat. | widowslaugh123
03.11.21 | I’m not down is like a top 5 clash song | RadioSuicide
03.11.21 | dude no lol it is a great track though | zakalwe
03.11.21 | Train in Vain is foot tap central | RadioSuicide
03.11.21 | it's one of my go-to jukebox jams | zakalwe
03.11.21 | Christ I miss the jukebox and a pint. | DoofDoof
03.11.21 | there are few jukeboxes in pubs now
there's one down the local rock bar (The Fighting Cocks in Kingston) but that's still slowly catching up on people's picks from 2005 it seems, you never get to your choices, and the only other one I know/use on the regular is a pool hall place in King's Cross we go to on work socials
I did spend £3 putting the entire Rage Against the Machine debut on there to some raised eyebrows, might have misjudged the mood | zakalwe
03.11.21 | Haha.
Good to have you back doof. | DoofDoof
03.11.21 | Only a wanker puts on a whole album of the same band but I couldn't resist | DoofDoof
03.11.21 | it's good to be back Zak, nothing quite like sput chat | ReturnToRock
03.11.21 | Considering that album has songs titled How I Could Just Kill A Man and Killing In The Name Of... , it's no wonder the normies gave you odd looks xD
Also, I've discovered most people have an aversion to even the mildest amounts of screaming (like, anything above 2001 Linkin Park level will actively cause them to turn the song off) so, again, no surprise. | Hendoi
03.12.21 | so you just dont like mick jones |
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