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User
Reviews 9
Approval 84%
News Articles 1
Band Edits + Tags 6
Album Edits 17
Album Ratings 299
Objectivity 85%
Last Active 09-12-22 5:06 pm
Joined 09-12-22
Review Comments 148
| WTF is the movie Closer?
Obligatory "this is a music site" comment out of the way, I'm going to bitch about a movie now.
I am referring to the 2004 film with Clive Owen, Jude Law, Natalie Portman, and Julia Roberts. This is my second time watching it and I struggling to understand what on earth its purpose is. I get it; people cheat on their significant others. Why on earth is that worthy of a near 2-hour slog?
List is current digs, combined with some of my favorite over-the-top quotes from the movie. I feel these are unintentionally hilarious, but I do find them hilarious. Heads up though, these are certainly NSFW. | | 1 |  | Fear Factory
Genexus
"Do you know what the heart looks like? IT LOOKS LIKE A FIST WRAPPED IN BLOOD" | | 2 |  | Crossbreed
KE 101
"What does your cunt taste like?" | | 3 |  | Static-X
Project Regeneration Vol. 2
"You'll be my whore, and in return I'll grant you liberty" | | 4 |  | A Perfect Circle
Thirteenth Step
"Fuck off and die, you [worthless?] slag" | | 5 |  | Dope
Group Therapy
"TORTURE ME!" | |
cycosynner
02.08.24 | NONE of these lines are warranted by their surrounding circumstances, and as such, they are fucking hilarious. | bellovddd
02.08.24 | ye Closer is a fucking wild movie lol. I actually enjoyed it for how fucking over the top it all was. | mkmusic1995
02.08.24 | I watched it once many years ago and also found it dreadfully dull and ridiculous. An unfortunate film for Clive Owen who had that Children of Men movie around the same time that was absolutely amazing. | AlexKzillion
02.08.24 | you had me at natalie portman, i'm in! | widowslaugh123
02.08.24 | I watched the Natalie Portman strip scene way more times than I’d like to admit when I was like 14 ha | cycosynner
02.08.24 | I knew this movie was bad when a Natalie Portman strip scene could not distract me from the train wreck. | CugnoBrasso
02.08.24 | What widow said ×2000 | neekafat
02.08.24 | great flick | artiswar
02.08.24 | melodramatic but not a bad movie | Trebor.
02.09.24 | Movie is great idk what you're on about | protokute
02.09.24 | try watching close (2022) | fogza
02.09.24 | funny i thought Closer was clive owen's best performance and a rare tolerable performance from portman. if you don't like movies based on plays you won't like it though. movie is great | zakalwe
02.09.24 | Patrick Marber is a very clever bloke indeed | DoofDoof
02.09.24 | I remember a pink wig and ass combo in this - correct? | artiswar
02.10.24 | yes |
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