TheGreatQ
07.14.16 | The funniest got deleted |
Jots
07.14.16 | was gonna post that one. also a classic: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/14542/Eisley-Room-Noises/ |
Trebor.
07.14.16 | KILL Periphery 2
/thread |
MO
07.14.16 | without a doubt in my mind:
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/31952/Emmure-Felony/ |
Jots
07.14.16 | and some of Rembrandt's stuff |
Futures
07.14.16 | you picked the goat good work |
Tunaboy45
07.14.16 | http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/51036/The-Sugarcubes-Lifes-Too-Good/
yeah the LB one is amazing |
Dolving999
07.14.16 | https://web.archive.org/web/20120701023533/http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/50591/Periphery-Periphery-II:-This-Time-Its-Personal
On Spencer Sotelo: "while he hits the notez, the notes themselves are gay" |
DominionMM1
07.14.16 | this one's good: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/69884/KISS-Lick-It-Up/ |
elliootsmeuth
07.14.16 | "KILL Periphery 2"
Yes. 100% yess. |
DominionMM1
07.14.16 | http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/32618/Mastodon-Blood-Mountain/
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/34784/Mastodon-Blood-Mountain/ |
Trebor.
07.14.16 | all the cone reviews but this one in particular because strokes fans got butthurt
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/55810/The-Strokes-Comedown-Machine/ |
TVC15
07.14.16 | First one that came to my mind
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/45344/Brand-New-The-Devil-and-God-Are-Raging-Inside-Me/
Edit: this one too
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/35931/Nickelback-Dark-Horse/ |
user
07.14.16 | http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/64542/John-Cage-433/
spooky tends to be a laugh or two |
Typhoon24
07.14.16 | man that emmure was hilarious. checking the others. |
Typhoon24
07.14.16 | can someone link the periphery 2 one |
Jots
07.14.16 | someone already did (it's archived) |
TheSonomaDude
07.14.16 | Flyhead's Repentless is top tier |
Typhoon24
07.14.16 | ah I see. thanks. that one was great |
Typhoon24
07.14.16 | the sugarcubes one might be my new fav |
Nocturnalize
07.14.16 | http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/44622/Annotations-Of-An-Autopsy-Dark-Days/
Thats a favourite of mine. The one MO mentioned is hilarious as well and of course KILL's Periphery review is a classic |
Sinternet
07.14.16 | http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/27805/William-Control-Hate-Culture/ |
iloveyouall
07.14.16 | Eisley - Room Noises >>> |
romulanrancor
07.15.16 | SomeSayShesNaive's whole catalog |
cvlts
07.15.16 | http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/27805/William-Control-Hate-Culture/
One of the sites Emeritus' Channing wrote this track-by-track review on a burner account and roasted the fuck out've this album. I've never cried/laughed more on any other written piece of work.
That Annotations Of An Autopsy that Nocturnalize posted is also legendary status. The bands vocalist even posted about it on their Facebook page and got trolled epically.
The Emmure - Felony is also peak writing. |
onionbubs
07.15.16 | http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/35931/Nickelback-Dark-Horse/ |
torts
07.15.16 | any of spookys |
TVC15
07.15.16 | I already posted that Onion... Try the one for All The Right Reasons if you haven't read it. Almost as hilarious
Edit: this A7x review is also awesome
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/58794/Avenged-Sevenfold-Hail-to-the-King/ |
hesperus
07.15.16 | http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/54027/Farrah-Abraham-My-Teenage-Dream-Ended/
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/52163/Green-Day-%C2%A1UNO%21/
I go back to these two reviews all the time. Downer was one funny motherfucker.
Also, the whole concept behind this review makes me giggle:
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/35669/Owl-City-Ocean-Eyes/ |
hesperus
07.15.16 | Oh, and I almost forgot this one:
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/69830/Earache-Records-The-Worlds-Shortest-Album/ |
bloc
07.15.16 | Y'all need these
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/14542/Eisley-Room-Noises/
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/59704/Protest-the-Hero-Volition/
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/31952/Emmure-Felony/
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/55957/Das-EFX-Dead-Serious/ |
Spec
07.15.16 | there was a funny emmure one back in the day |
Conmaniac
07.15.16 | holy shit that periphery 2 review im dead |
Supercoolguy64
07.15.16 | and then the blasts
but these arn't blasts of truth
they're blasts of queef |
MistaCrave
07.15.16 | lmao KILL's Periphery review is hands down the funniest review I've ever read |
MistaCrave
07.15.16 | Also that web archives website that was used to link KILL's review is fucking awesome, now I know what sput was like back in 06 |
rufinthefury
07.15.16 | http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/31817/Attack-Attack%21-US-Someday-Came-Suddenly/
the Attack Attack - Someday Came Suddenly review is the GOAT. literally untouchable. top of the mountain. |
Artuma
07.15.16 | ¡QUé HERMOSO! ¡UN SOLO DE LA GUITARRA DEL MASTODONTE! |
Avagantamos
07.15.16 | johnny mcombs aka LAD |
UpwardSpiral
07.15.16 | http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/40873/Unwound-Fake-Train/
Love it |
benkim
07.15.16 | Emmure's review is comfortably the funniest imo |
Calc
07.15.16 | easily hanson's A7X review: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/58794/Avenged-Sevenfold-Hail-to-the-King/ |
Ebola
07.15.16 | http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/47192/Morbid-Angel-Illud-Divinum-Insanus/ |
miketunneyiscool123
07.15.16 | KILL's Periphery 2 review is hot damn. |
ButteryBiscuitBass
07.15.16 | Chan's Brand New review, because I think he was being serious. |
christhjian
07.15.16 | Most reviews by KILL. Deicide debut, Sugarcubes, Retalitation by Carnivore and Heathen's Victims are my favs by him. |
Deathconscious
07.15.16 | Good thread. |
Shuyin
07.15.16 | Emmure - Felony takes the cake |
Nocturnalize
07.15.16 | http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/33075/Asking-Alexandria-Stand-Up-and-Scream/
This ones a hoot as well |
Typhoon24
07.15.16 | the nickelback dark horse one hahahahahaha |
TheTripP
07.15.16 | "First we had a little bit of a joke, then we got deep, and now it seems that this is Fred's personal attack on someone in his life. It takes a lot of guts to write a song like this, and Fred makes a very convincing case that he could easily knock anyone out if they called him names. I dare anybody to make fun of him after hearing this song. A great song 5/5"
fucking ded |
rockandmetaljunkie
07.15.16 | the first that come to my mind are these:
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/46265/Diamond-Head-Lightning-to-the-Nations/
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/42710/Nashville-Pussy-Let-Them-Eat-Pussy/
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/63509/Ted-Nugent-Shutupjam%21/ |
Deathconscious
07.15.16 | "they obviously heard meshuggah and thought hmm if we rip off the guitars and add some faggot leads and vocals over the top we can cash in on all the faggot faux metallers and i guess it works so hats off to em, but i dont wear a hat so they can suck my dick." |
Typhoon24
07.15.16 | "Do you like drinking, screwing and smashing bottles over non-manly mens heads? Well Nashville Pussy do to and they are men. One time a man accused Nashville Pussy of not being real men, the next day that man woke up to find he had become a woman. " |
rockandmetaljunkie
07.15.16 | Hahaha, awesome |
bloc
07.16.16 | Bwahahaha omg |
0GuyMan0
07.21.16 | Have read all the reviews mentioned so far, and The Bizkit review is definitely the GOAT. fucking died. |
Typhoon24
07.28.16 | good lord that The Strokes review, Trebor. LOL
"Damn The Strokes just get worse and worse on every record. Like Is This It? was pretty good and like that should have been it, but it was like a question, and they answered that question with 4 more ***ty records. " |
Pheromone
07.28.16 | yh
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/59704/Protest-the-Hero-Volition/
this bad boy |
smaugman
07.28.16 | the vocals are probably the worst ever made, and while he hits the notez, the notes themselves are gay
maybe the best sentence in a review ever |
Sevengill
07.28.16 | Channing Freeman's review of Hate Culture had me in stitches.
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/27805/William-Control-Hate-Culture/ |
Typhoon24
07.28.16 | volition and hate culture were hilarious reviews. Idk if I like the purposely dumbed down tongue-in-cheek reviews or the angry and honest ones more |
Sevengill
07.28.16 | I briefly considered making my username fataidenbassplayer but couldn't pull the trigger. |
Typhoon24
07.28.16 | hahaha |
christhjian
07.28.16 | That 5/5 LB Chocolate Starfish is great too yes.
But is KILL's Periphery deleted? I'd like to check that out but can't find it |
Sevengill
07.28.16 | I still want to read the legendary Potsy Blood Mountain review :c |
Typhoon24
07.28.16 | "But is KILL's Periphery deleted? I'd like to check that out but can't find it"
it's archived. it's number 2 on the list at the top of the page if you want to check it out. |
Sevengill
07.28.16 | YES A MASTODON GUITAR SOLO |
christhjian
07.29.16 | Thx Typhoon. Ruled as always |
bloc
07.29.16 | SI UN MASTODONTE SOLO DE GUITARRA |
ShadowRemains
07.29.16 | rasputin's cthonic rites: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/28105/Moss-Cthonic-Rites/
nick butler's iluvatar: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/28485/Iluvatar-Iluvatar/ |
wwf
07.29.16 | definitely the volition review
that's by far the funniest review I've read on this site |
TVC15
07.29.16 | "Huge fucking riffs the size of mountains, stamping around and killing cute animals, like whales. Then the whales fall on your face." Oh goodness |
Asdfp277
07.29.16 | the eisley review by far |
ShadowRemains
07.29.16 | also ffs' silence of the centuries: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/57562/Depravity-Silence-of-the-Centuries/ |
bgillesp
07.31.22 | So the archive link for PII doesn't work anymore. Anyone know where to find it? |
pizzamachine
07.31.22 | I haven’t been able to find it anywhere. |
Wildcardbitchesss
07.31.22 | “It’s past curfew for you. Let me see your Nickelback fan club Membership Card.”
“I can’t show you that, because I’m not a faggot,” I said
lmfao I forgot about this review |
Slex
08.01.22 | Some of these are actually pretty funny dang |
YoYoMancuso
08.01.22 | every single one of ffs's reviews, and also this one
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/56657/Chris-Brown-Fortune/ |
TSI3
09.08.22 | Devastated that I am too late to enjoy Kill's review of Periphery but to early to to take part in Sputnik VR in the Metaverse (where these comment threads are just vr rooms where we yell our opinions over one another in our avatar form). |
KILL
09.08.22 | https://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/9756/Opeth-Blackwater-Park/
was always my fav |
DadKungFu
09.08.22 | "Do you need coffee from a Christian coffee shop?"
is an all-time sput line |