JesperL
Jesper L.
Contributor

Reviews 102
Soundoffs 81
News Articles 43
Band Edits + Tags 131
Album Edits 137

Album Ratings 1779
Objectivity 78%

Last Active 01-26-22 12:05 pm
Joined 03-15-16

Forum Posts 54
Review Comments 3,833

 Lists
12.28.21 jesper's 2021 top 50 albums 12.14.21 jesper's 2021 top 50 songs
12.11.21 wake up babe11.22.21 female singer + all male hevvy band dre
09.28.21 3394 comments07.01.21 Thy Cattlefaque Ranked
06.18.21 midterm report03.30.21 the good bandcamp stuff: march 2021
03.05.21 'You're Welcome' lyric or not? 01.30.21 january's good stuff
12.28.20 jesper's 202011.30.20 The best 2020 albums
10.07.20 The Oceans Ranked10.03.20 i miss concerts
07.29.20 A guide to nu-gaze06.13.20 Midterm report
04.23.20 Some overlooked 2020 releases07.23.19 If Green Day's trilogy were one good al
More »

Thy Cattlefaque Ranked

Different types of thy cattlefuck ranked
1pink floyd
Atom Heart Mother


American Milking Devon

Really cool fur and sick horns, really no complaints here. 10/10
2Cows
Cunning Stunts


Barzona

These bois are buff as fuck. 9.6/10
3frank zappa
L├Ąther


Brown Swiss

They're Swiss which is cool but kinda racist tho they probably make good cheese. 8.5/10
4Dead Cow Company
EP


Chianina

They look cute but their name reminds me of chihuahuas so that kinda sucks but only a lil. 8/10
5Cattle Decapitation
Humanure


Beef Shorthorn

Sympathy points for being called 'beef' but yea those horns do be lame and short lol. 6.2/10
6Skip Cows
The Great Hunting


Red Poll

They're not red (or maybe they are idk i'm colourblind) and the polls are saying that this type of cattle is mid af. 5/10
7Battle Cattle
Kenny's not dead


White Park

They're white but the name connotes some less than pleasant stuff. 4.1/10
8So Cow
So Cow


Sussex Cattle

lol. 3/10
9Fightstar
Be Human


Beefalo

A funny name does not make up for a highly lame cow. 2.3359/10
10two cow garage
Death of the Self-Preservation Society


Belgian Blue

They're Belgian and decidedly not blue (pretty confident in spite of my colourblindness), they'd be 10x better off if it were the other way around. 1/10
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