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03.10.20 Three Months in... Nothing to Show08.06.19 Corey Taylor Masks Ranked
07.30.19 What Did I Miss? Summer 2019 Edition04.17.19 The State of Prog '19
01.09.19 Cosby's Choice Awards 201810.14.18 Sonder: Explained
01.24.18 King Gizzard '17 Ranked12.28.17 Cosby's Choice Awards 2017
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12.28.16 Cosby's Choice Awards 201611.22.16 Deftones Listening Guide
10.11.16 HELP TRYING TO FIND BAND09.29.16 What Did I Miss?
04.18.16 Concert Personalities03.17.16 Drinking Songs ♦
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Concert Personalities

Thought I'd make a list of all the fun personalities you see at a concert. This list is meant to lightly poke fun at these people and not meant to offend or criticize. Music is a wonderful medium and people are allowed to react to it in whatever way they choose. Let me know what personality you associate yourself with the most and/or if there is a certain type of person that I've missed. A lot of my concert experiences have been at metal ones, so if there are different types at other ones or if you think I can add something to a certain personality let me know!
1The Beatles
Revolver

Front Row Packer: These people are the ones looking for the closest possible spot to the band. I never really cared to do something like this, seeing as you undoubtedly get packed in three feet of space from the people moshing behind you and are constantly bending your back in awkward positions every time people fall on you. But there are some people that are always fighting for this position. These are the people reaching for the mike, begging for a chance to do their interpretation of the lyrics.
2TesseracT
One

Back Row/ Balcony Nodder: The people in the back, on the sides, or balcony of a concert. Usually they have their arms cross and some sort of stern look on their face. Content with watching the concert from a safe place not in the pit. These people don’t dance or seriously head bang, they just stand there and stare, maybe occasionally nodding their head like a float on a fishing line. They may also films the majority of the concert on their phone.
3As Blood Runs Black
Allegiance

Mosher: If there isn’t a pit these people make one. Usually at the most obnoxious time possible. I’m talking during the ballad. There’s always that one shirtless dude who isn’t content to just chill and listen to the song. They're always got to be slamming into people, bless their little heart. Usually wearing a bro tank and snapback.
4Meshuggah
Catch Thirtythree

Rooster: A sub-breed of the mosher. This dude stomps around the perimeter of the pit, chest puffed out, arms constantly flexed, knocking into anyone or anything in front of them. Probably the funniest dude at the concert.
5GWAR
Bloody Pit of Horror

Drunken Stumbler: There’s always that one dude… stumbling around the pit completely inebriated. He hold aloft his head his sloshing Budweiser and never fails to have it swatted 10 seconds later, completely soaking those around him.
6Nothing More
Nothing More

Fanboy: I say this next one with love because I think there’s something really endearing about this person. He or she knows every lyrics and bounces up and down in the pit, hands raised to the sky like the participant of a bible belt mass. For some it IS religious, so don’t hate.
7Sleep
Dopesmoker

Grumpy Pusher: This is one person that I always laugh at. He or she stands by the pit, trying to “appreciate” the music but gets pissed off when they’re shoved or run into. Ironically this person can usually be found next to the pit. I find the whole thing particularly amusing because if you don’t want to be shoved why are you standing in the goddamn pit? Go to the back, front, or balcony but don’t be a grump just cause you’re getting some love bumps.
8Iron Maiden
The Number of the Beast

Headbanger/ Hair Spinner: Don’t even try to talk to this person, they’re gonna spend the entirety of the convert in a veil of their own hair, pinwheeling or banging the fuck out of their hair. They are blessed with the neck of a god.
9Mastodon
Remission

Wide-Eyed Clutcher: This is usually a teenager or a first timer. They standing on the edge of the pit, trying to wedge themselves between two huge dudes so they won’t end up in the thick of it. Seem to be internally asking themselves what the hell they’re doing there.
10Daft Punk
Alive 2007

The Silver Surfer: This dude is always jumping on his friends’/strangers’ shoulders, trying to get their three seconds in the lime light before security drags them down.
11Protest the Hero
Scurrilous

The Comedian: This dude is always yelling out “clever” “jokes” during the interludes, trying to impress the band with their drunken ramblings. Sometimes it’s a song request, sometimes it’s them trying to make fun of the band, but rarely is it funny.
12Silverstein
This Is How the Wind Shifts

The Couple: Always in a pair, usually a guy and a girl. The girl never seems to be there for the music, and rather is just dragged along because the guy wants her to be there. They always stand on the edge of the pit, the male’s arms wrapped tightly around her, and always get pissed off whenever anyone runs into them or shoves them. It never seems like a fun time for either of them, and is one of the roles I can never comprehend.
13Fall Out Boy
Save Rock and Roll

Kamikaze tomboy skater chick: thinks she can mosh but she's has the build of an eight year old child. Last seen trying to recover her shoe (she forgot to tie them up extra secure) from a circle pit and now likely unconscious. (Courtesy of DoofusWainWright)
14Green Day
American Idiot

Wanker Type 1: this dude and his posse just turn up at the venue each week to get pissed and don't give a shit who's playing. They'll just play fight and shout through the entire set.

Wanker Type 2: This cat just wants a fight and once in the pit will sneak gut and face punches in to the mix whenever possible. They usually get away with it having perfected the art of being a cunt at shows over many many years (Courtesy of DoofusWaitWright)
15Asking Alexandria
Stand Up and Scream

Karate Master: This dude has to show off his skills in the middle of the concert. He flails his arms and legs, spinning wildly like a rickety spiny ride at a tear down carnival. This is one role I actually can't stand. If you see him, give him a hard shove in the back.
16Pink Floyd
Animals

The human-cow biohazard: the absolute worst person to be stood behind at a show, its a mystery what this (invariably male) customer ate before the gig as they've not stopped their flatulence ever since they entered the venue. Is the music causing an involuntary relaxation effect?(Courtesy of DoofusWaitWright)

As a side note, I feel like there's always one dude who smells like salami in the pit. Don't know why... but it's always there.
17Yes
Fragile

Benevolent Mosh-pit Caretaker: This dude loves his fellow man more than you can know. He loves them so much that he spends the majority of the concert caring for the pit, allowing it to grow and mature while protecting those outside of it. This is the guy who's responsible for pushing you back in, even when you try to get out.
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