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User
Reviews 16
Approval 95%
Soundoffs 8
Album Ratings 1099
Objectivity 63%
Last Active 04-22-21 3:46 am
Joined 01-18-14
Review Comments 13,329
| Ministry Ranked
One of my favourite bands ever (even though they've put out a fair share of sub-par/terrible material). I know most of you don't like them, and it's cool to shit on them these days, but here's my ranked list because I've been jamming them lately and I know there's a couple of you who do like them. | | 14 |  | Ministry
Relapse
Oof, this record is horrid. It starts off incredibly strong with the 1-2 punch of Ghouldiggers and Double Tap which are pure destruction, but things go off the rails very quickly after that. A lot of the songs on this are borderline unlistenable. | | 13 |  | Ministry
From Beer to Eternity
I don’t even know what this album is… I give it points for originality, and that’s about it. This isn’t your friendly neighbourhood Ministry. There’s a couple of interesting songs and surprisingly melodic moments amid the mess, but not nearly enough to salvage this effort. | | 12 |  | Ministry
AmeriKKKant
I’ve only listened to this once, and there’s a chance it will grow on me, but for now I have to say this album is closer to bottom-of-the-barrel Ministry than the top. There’s just not enough here, and the relentless Trump samples are like nails on a chalkboard. After 2 years of being inundated with everything this windbag says on a day-to-day basis, I simply don’t need his prattling mouth soiling my music as well. | | 11 |  | Ministry
With Sympathy
The album that Al wishes we would all forget. Yes, before becoming the stodgy rebellious grandpa we all know and love, young Al was a spineless puppet for his first record label. Hearing Al spew these safe, clean, cliche romantic odes to spurned love over shitty 80’s synths and drum machines is by turn painful and unintentionally hilarious. I actually unironically enjoy a couple tracks on this, they’re really catchy. | | 10 |  | Ministry
Twitch
Ministry’s first serious album, this is more electronica than industrial. A lot of people are fond of this record but I never was able to fully click with it. | | 9 |  | Ministry
Houses Of The Molé
The first album of the ’metal’ trilogy, Houses marked a shift in Ministry’s sound from industrial to a guitar-centric, fast thrash metal sound. While this is not my favourite period in Ministry’s career, there’s a lot great songs that came out of it. Not many are from this record though, as this is the weakest of the three. | | 8 |  | Ministry
The Last Sucker
Ministry’s intended final album is actually a rather palatable send off and conclusion to the metal trilogy. Better than Houses but not quite as good as Rio, it sits in the middle with several memorable standouts but runs on too long overall. The Dick Song deserves a special mention for just being a delightful little slice of Ministry that is not very subtle even by their standards. | | 7 |  | Ministry
Rio Grande Blood
On this album, Ministry perfected their kinetic take on modern metal that they began exploring on Houses. This album yields gems like Palestina with its groovy avalanche of heavy guitars, and Fear (Is Big Business) which starts with a slow, crushing doom riff that eventually gives way to an urgent Slayer-esque series of thrash metal sequences. But the highlight of the album has to be Gangreen, a hilarious ode to the US Marine Corps that is impossible to not head bang to with its gargantuan mechanical stop-start groove that cycles through the song. | | 6 |  | Ministry
The Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Taste
A beloved album, but one that I never fully grew to worship like most fans. It always just felt like a lesser version of Psalm 69. Thieves is seminal, and there are great tracks here, but it doesn’t crack the top 5. | | 5 |  | Ministry
Animositisomina
One of the most slept-on and underrated industrial albums of all time. This album wrecks your ears front-to-back, inside out and sideways. Impossible is a top 5 Ministry song, even though many don’t realize it. Seriously, do a bump of cocaine and drive through the desert in the morning to that song and tell me that is not the greatest shit ever. | | 4 |  | Ministry
Dark Side of the Spoon
At the peak of their heroin use, Al and company crafted this bizarre portal into a distorted world of mumbling vocals and rumbling bass-lines, of sinister geriatric wards and morbidly obese naked women. This album is not fun, nor is it easy to listen to. At times it’s downright unpleasant, testing the boundaries of what can even be considered music. This is the sound of a bunch of strung-out creative people giving zero fucks as they lay down a record. It’s definitely not perfect, but a fascinating snapshot of a moment in time for a band in a very dark place that somehow managed to survive the making of this record. | | 3 |  | Ministry
The Land of Rape and Honey
This album is a timeless, unique industrial collage. The last album to feature a drum machine, and boy do they put it to work. The Missing and Flashback are some of the most driving Ministry tracks ever, and Golden Dawn is perhaps their most beautiful and atmospheric. It’s all so eclectic yet minimalist, it’s easy to zone out and get immersed in the compositions here. Absolutely groundbreaking album, I still can’t believe this came out in the late 80s. | | 2 |  | Ministry
Psalm 69
One of the most cutting-edge albums of all time, and it hasn’t aged a day. This is still as fresh as it was in 92 and it’s just remarkable how they captured lightning in a bottle like this. It’s absolute perfection from a band at their most vital and it still melts my face off start to finish. Scarecrow is transcendental. | | 1 |  | Ministry
Filth Pig
Sadly a lot of people think this is one of their worst albums, which just boggles my mind. This album is like being injected with a fatal dose of heroin and set on fire. This is a collection of the most weird, stripped down, abrasive groovy songs the band has ever done, and yet it also contains some of their most subtle and eerie melodic touches. To this day I listen to this and feel like only musicians on massive amounts of drugs could have crafted this album, and am stunned that they were able to remain lucid enough to make something so perfectly delirious and rock’n’roll. T/T gets a special mention for being my favourite Ministry song, and for somehow having one of the most iconic main riffs ever, even though it’s only 2 fucking chords. | |
artiswar
03.11.18 | I know most won't agree with this ranking but it's sincere. I hope it's at least an enjoyable read. | RippingCorpse1986
03.11.18 | 6 is a hard 5/5 imo | RippingCorpse1986
03.11.18 | Btw you don't seem to rate a lot of stuff man. Do you have a RYM account or some shit like that? | artiswar
03.11.18 | I only started rating stuff very recently, and only to piss off and confuse Aiwaz who I convinced for some reason to delete most of his ratings. | artiswar
03.11.18 | With Sympathy. | artiswar
03.11.18 | The list is ranked, so that should be a decent blueprint of what's worth your time. But you should start with With Sympathy for the perspective. And the lulz. | artiswar
03.11.18 | of course but not gay, sorry dude. | Ikarus14
03.11.18 | 1, 2 and 3 are all that's needed really. Everything else I can comfortably forget about. | artiswar
03.11.18 | Shit, did I hit a nerve? Don't worry, you'll find your big spoon. It just won't be me. | artiswar
03.11.18 | Did you get your guitar yet? And where do you land on Ministry? | artiswar
03.11.18 | I'd skip Twitch even though a lot of people love it. It kind of goes in one ear out the other for me. You need to get to Psalm 69. Preferably right after With Sympathy :D | Grimlin
03.11.18 | With Sympathy is actually fairly decent for that kind of music. Underrated in my opinion. | artiswar
03.11.18 | With Sympathy is awesome. Much better than the last 3 records. | artiswar
03.11.18 | Things get very metal from here on out. This is the swan song of sample-driven Ministry. When listening to this you have to keep in mind this came out in 88, only 5 years after With Sympathy. The progression here is nothing less than mind blowing. This was trendsetting. | artiswar
03.11.18 | It's really fascinating. There's tons of interviews, videos, even a documentary explaining exactly why the evolution of this band mutated the way it did. They're a real anomaly, it's some interesting shit. | DadKungFu
03.11.18 | Dig this ranking, 11 would be higher for me and 2 is 1 and 1 is like 4 or 5 but you justified each ranking really well | artiswar
03.11.18 | Thanks, for what it's worth 11 has a very special place in my heart. | Boognish79
03.05.22 | 2,3,6,1,4,5,10. |
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