jcaob: Hello. | Sputnikmusic

jcaob 03.05.12	sput nick
sniper 03.05.12	grab his cane, smash the lanter and use a piece of glass to cut off his dick and throw it into the manhole then go get a slice of pizza and a beer and watch the hockey game.
jcaob 03.05.12	(Failed) In your attempt to grab his cane, a man in a robe came from behind you and put a bag over your head. You fall unconscious from lack of oxygen, and wake up a few hours later in a room. The room is dark and cold, with nothing in it but a desk that you are chained to, and a lamp above you. A man walks into the room and looks at you, you do not recognize him. What do you say?
Deviant. 03.05.12	I always hated those choose your own adventure stories
InFiction 03.05.12	I say "Do you like Dream Theater" and he says no. Funnily enough, I awake from my dream and find myself in a Theater. Then I have a wank.
jcaob 03.05.12	You do not awake from your dream, your perception of reality is distorted. Whether you are dreaming or not, you open your eyes to find the man still looking at you. He spits in your face and tells you that Dream Theater is overrated. He then asks you if you know why you are here. What do you say?
InFiction 03.05.12	"How about In Flames?"
jcaob 03.05.12	You took to long too answer. He slaps you across the face and says that "In Flames is gay." You clench your jaw and stare back at him. Your left hand is still free, and you notice he is carrying the same cane as the man in the alleyway. Is it the same man? You can't be sure, but at the moment, that doesn't matter. Do you fight back?
mastille 03.05.12	You wait until he leans in and do a round house kick using the desk, grab the cane with your free hand, knock him out with it, and reach for his pockets where you find a key that fits in your handcuff. You hear footsteps, getting closer since you knocked that man out, so you grab the cane and run to the window...
jcaob 03.05.12	You uncuff yourself quickly and run to the window to find it is sealed shut. What do you do?
ohfoxxxycole 03.05.12	i cant believe this is happening
jcaob 03.05.12	Your thoughts wander and you realize you are only wasting time thinking such futile thoughts. Back to the window, what do you do?
InFiction 03.05.12	I ask the window if it listens to Dark Tranquility.
jcaob 03.05.12	The window does not speak. You hear footsteps getting closer to the door.
InFiction 03.05.12	In frustration for ignoring me, I punch the window.
jcaob 03.05.12	The glass is thick, but you manage to break through it. Although, you've torn your hand open and it is bleeding profusely. Your veins have been sliced open, your tendons and ligaments torn, but you manage to clear the broken glass around the edges with your other hand. Do you try to climb out?
AllGabrielsAreGlass 03.05.12	Sounds like one of my LSD trips combined with alchohol that went badly wrong. Either way I take it I'll wake up caked in vomit and with a roaring headache? Either way I think Ill wait for what's his face to come with the lantern and cane.
KILL 03.05.12	sup bro
johnnyblaze 03.05.12	yes! climb!
jcaob 03.05.12	System, your aggression clouded your judgment and caused you to miscalculate your jump. There is a bush below the window, but you miss it by a foot. A sharp pain shoots up your ankles and it takes you a moment to recover. Around you, there isn't much. To the front of the house, there is a gate and a road leading to what looks like a small town. To the back there is a small wood shed that may have something useful in it. Other than that, you are surrounded by trees. What do you do?
johnnyblaze 03.05.12	Climb up the tallest tree!
tarkus 03.05.12	Head to the town
jcaob 03.05.12	You run towards the gate to find it's locked, but it can be climbed easily. By now there are more men coming out the front door, unholstering their pistols and yelling at you to stop. If you run, you could get shot. Take the chance anyway?
johnnyblaze 03.05.12	(told ya, should've climbed the tree) no. stop and reason with them. offer money, whores, a blow job. ...anything for my precious life!
tarkus 03.05.12	jump the gate
johnnyblaze 03.05.12	FUCK YOUUUU
jcaob 03.05.12	These are unreasonable men, it seem they are either going to shoot you, or detain you again. Your mind is in a flurry, and your adrenaline is pumping. You jump the gate quickly and dart into the trees on the left side of the road. Shots are fired, but they only hit the trees. You keep running and come upon a ridge leading down to a stream of water. Do you jump down to replenish your thirst, or carry on to the town?
tarkus 03.05.12	go into the river and wash up/drink/hide from the men
ffs 03.05.12	pop a sick wheelie
jcaob 03.05.12	You carefully navigate down the steep hill and hurry to the stream, you kneel down and drink the water. It doesn't look like you can climb back up the ridge. You look over and see a bag half burred in dirt, it look like someone may have dropped it here. Do you look inside the bag, or continue on your way?
thumbcrusher 03.05.12	look in the bag for find the golden amulet!
tarkus 03.05.12	look inside, there could be some sick drugs in there!
chaseee 03.05.12	Look inside the bag, its probably something mystical or some shit.
mastille 03.05.12	You grab the bag, hear voices coming in your direction, and run downstream. You try to stay in the shallow water to avoid tracks.
jcaob 03.05.12	You walk to the bag and look inside. Reminded that you are still naked, you are thrilled to find an old shirt, a pair of jeans, and a can of corn. You dress yourself and keep the bag with the corn. Congratulations, you can now carry up to 20 items. You hear voices coming from behind you, so you quickly continue down the stream until it joins into a river. The town is on the other side of the bridge, but it looks like the men got there before you. Should you try to brave the water, or take your chance crossing the bridge?
tarkus 03.05.12	swim down the river and enter the town from a different point and notify local authorities
ffs 03.05.12	take an urgent dump by the riverbank cause i hate some heck of sketchy taco bell
jcaob 03.05.12	You slip down the bank into the river and swim across. You are a good distance away from the guards on the bridge, so you pass unnoticed. You are now in the town. From where you stand, you see a bar, a motel, a small convenience store, and the police station. You decide to go to the police station first, and luckily you do not come by any of the men on your way. The police station looks old and beaten down. The door is crooked and decaying from the termites, on the door you read a sign that says "Jackson County Police Dpt." Opening the door, you see a man sitting behind a desk. There are a few cells behind him, but they are all empty. He has his hat covering his eyes, and his feet propped up on the desk. he appears to be sleeping. So you wake him?
tarkus 03.05.12	yeah
jcaob 03.05.12	"Sir?" Startled, he grabs his hat and he falls backwards onto the floor, kicking his legs. You run over to help him up, but he refuses. He stands and dusts off his jacket. He raises his hat and looks at you. He has deep eyes, and dark bags underneath. He grins. His teeth are yellow and crooked. "Why hello there." he says. "What can I help you with?" What do you say?
tarkus 03.05.12	i was raped in an alley
Ire 03.05.12	deaf did it
jcaob 03.05.12	"Well, kid, I have better things to take care of. Maybe next time be more careful. Go see a therapist, a doctor, I don't care." He stops himself, and he has realized something. "Wait a minute.." he says, and raises his hand towards you, making a gun with his fingers. "You're the one they're looking for, aren't you" Bang. He flicks his wrist back and grabs you by the arm. He twists your arm around and pushes you onto the desk as he reaches for his handcuffs. On the desk you see a cup full of pens, a clipboard, a lamp, and a whole slew of documents spread out across the desk. You see his gun holstered to his left leg, but you can't grab it from the position you're in. What do you do?
Bloodhail 03.05.12	WHY ARE THERE TWO GAME MASTERS YOU FUCKERS SUCK AT ROLEPLAYING
spillingmercury 03.05.12	Cry profusely and blubber about how today really sucks. Also wonder why I haven't yet died from blood loss after shattering my veins with glass.
Ire 03.05.12	i get a boner and think about u
tarkus 03.05.12	nah stab him in the face with the pen then grab his gun and hit him with it so its a silent kill. from this point you grab a silencer from the armory and eliminate the men
J0ckstrapsFTW 03.05.12	Pull out my concealed 9mm and pump some rounds into his ass
johnnyblaze 03.05.12	grab the pen and clipboard and ask to write a letter. proceed to write a letter to your mother.
Shuyin 03.05.12	'Pull out my concealed 9mm and pump some rounds into his ass' what do u mean by 'concealed' if ur suposed to be naked? just curious..
ChuckyTruant 03.05.12	tha fuck is this gay shit?
johnnyblaze 03.05.12	shuyin, no cannibal corpse rec?
jcaob 03.05.12	You reach for the pen and thrust it into his eye. He screams and falls backwards. You unholster his gun and hit him in the head until blood starts pouring out of his ears. The man is dead. You rip his shirt and wrap it around your hand. Do you search the room for supplies?
tarkus 03.05.12	most definitely
ChuckyTruant 03.05.12	No. you fucking kill yourself with the 9mm
thumbcrusher 03.05.12	may as well make use of our storage space from the bag episode...
johnnyblaze 03.05.12	yup. search and load up. time to kill.
J0ckstrapsFTW 03.05.12	@shuyin I have space in my butt lol. I forgot about the naked part
Shuyin 03.05.12	cannibalus corpsis
Shuyin 03.05.12	'I have space in my butt lol.' great, must be getting banged by alotta black dicks if u got room for a 9mm in there.
jcaob 03.05.12	You take his gun and search his body. You open his wallet and take some coins. You continue to search the room. You find a couple boxes of ammo and an AK-47 stashed in a footlocker under his desk. You open the drawers and find some meds. Inventory: 9mm, AK-47, 10x 9mm ammo, 60x AK-47 ammo, 1 can of corn, 1 unidentified meds You drag his body underneath the desk and exit the building. You notice a convoy of trucks heading up towards the building in which you escaped. You wait for them to pass by and then continue on your way. You look around, there are few people out on the streets, and they all look tired. There is a man sleeping against a barrel, a woman walking slowly with her head down. Where do you go now?
thumbcrusher 03.05.12	ask the woman out on a date
johnnyblaze 03.05.12	ask the woman out on a date and then go find some more food
jcaob 03.05.12	You walk towards the woman. "Excuse me, miss" She looks up at you, her eyes are blank, and her gums are oozing with black liquid. She doesn't speak. Try to ask her anyways?
thumbcrusher 03.05.12	yeah she sounds like a keeper
johnnyblaze 03.05.12	for sure
jdennis31 03.05.12	lol. this list is AWESOME
jcaob 03.05.12	"Excuse me, would you like to go on a date with me? I see there is a bar down the street, and I could use a drink." She tilts her head much like a dog and begins to laugh. He mouth starts opening wider and wider, and she runs at you. The closer she gets, the wider her mouth opens until her cheeks start ripping. Black liquid is spilling out of her mouth. Think quick.
tarkus 03.05.12	best list ever, ask her again and if she says no or does nothing decapitate
Shuyin 03.05.12	a naked man asking a woman on a date sounds like a win
thumbcrusher 03.05.12	KISS HER WHILE THE MOMENT'S HOT
tarkus 03.05.12	we got clothes a long time ago bro
thumbcrusher 03.05.12	yeah Shuyin keep up
johnnyblaze 03.05.12	fuck this bitch. go get food and prepare to take off. this town is no good.
jcaob 03.05.12	(Shuyin, he dressed himself with the clothes he found in the back by the stream.) You jump back and try to calm her. "It looks like you may need a drink too!" She continues to run at you. You unholster your 9mm and fire into her open mouth. (How many shots do you fire?)
tarkus 03.05.12	only enough to decapitate. you need to conserve ammo
johnnyblaze 03.05.12	as much as it takes. can't risk infection.
thumbcrusher 03.05.12	if we're shooting not making out i'd go for 8 or 9, might as well do it properly/
jcaob 03.05.12	You fire 8 shots. Her head explodes and black liquid gushes out of her neck. Good job, you now have two 9mm shots left. You're startled. You look around, expecting to have caused a commotion, but the town is still. The man by the house is still sleeping, and there isn't anyone in sight. Do you wish to explore the town more?
thumbcrusher 03.05.12	yeah, look for a brothel.
johnnyblaze 03.05.12	a brothel? fine... look for a brothel and food. go.
tarkus 03.05.12	raid the bar and steal the booze, go on a drunken rampage through the town and kill everyone, stealing all their money
jcaob 03.05.12	There is no brothel in sight. You see a bar, a convenience store, a motel, and a couple houses. There is also another road that leads out of town, it leads into the woods. What do you do?
tarkus 03.05.12	raid the bar and steal the booze, go on a drunken rampage through the town and kill everyone, stealing all their money [2]
thumbcrusher 03.05.12	i vote woods
johnnyblaze 03.05.12	go to the bar and then convenience store. load up on food, get some lighters for fire making, go live in the woods.
thumbcrusher 03.05.12	^yeah do that
Sirob 03.06.12	just smoke some weed and everything will be alright man
johnnyblaze 03.06.12	lol
jcaob 03.06.12	You head for the bar. Upon entering you are greeted by an old woman behind the bar. She's short and stocky, with large breasts, and her hair pulled back into a ponytail. There is a four men sitting around a table in a dark corner of the room. It is completely silent. The woman takes a moment to realize you've walked in, and when she does, she looks surprised. "My goodness boy, you startled me. You're not around here are you? I've never seen you before... say, did you escape from one of those convoys heading up the road to that house across the bridge? Well, none of that matters I guess. What can I get for you?" You notice her eyes are blank, and the same black liquid is stuck around her teeth, but she seems friendly enough. What do you do?
tarkus 03.06.12	ask where you can get some LSD
thumbcrusher 03.06.12	get a drink first
tarkus 03.06.12	as long as we get some sort of hallucinogen in the end
thumbcrusher 03.06.12	well of course
johnnyblaze 03.06.12	abort. convenience store should have some salvia.. ?
tarkus 03.06.12	nah dude trip is too short we need like ten tabs of high quality acid
jcaob 03.06.12	"Hi ma'am, umm, you wouldn't happen to know where I can get some LSD around here do you?" She raises her eyebrow, confused. "I can't say I know what that is, kid. I can get 'ya a drink though. Whatcha fancy? Whiskey, vodka, a beer?" A voice raises from the table where the men sit. "Get 'em one of yer special whiskey's. On me." The rest of the snicker quietly. The woman looks at you for approval. Do you accept it?
tarkus 03.06.12	ask what's in it, if not acceptable, lets take some strong ass vodka
johnnyblaze 03.06.12	no, take as many bottles in your hands as you can and run to the convenience store for supplies then go to the woods.
thumbcrusher 03.06.12	accept otherwise we'll probably end up using our last 9mm bullets on him...
tarkus 03.06.12	lets check whats in it, i dont want to be drinking no bird semen
jcaob 03.06.12	"What's that?" You ask. She laughs and grabs a glass from under the bar. She fills it with whiskey and walks to the back room. She comes back a second later and drops a severed toe in the drink. She pushes it towards you. Do you drink it?
tarkus 03.06.12	yes, but push the toe away from your lips as you drink the whiskey, leaving it in the empty cup after youre finished drinking
thumbcrusher 03.06.12	going on this turn of events i'd reconsider and back off now.
thumbcrusher 03.06.12	tarkus is insane!
johnnyblaze 03.06.12	no, take as many bottles in your hands as you can and run to the convenience store for supplies then go to the woods. [2]
tarkus 03.06.12	thumb its the only way, gotta play it cool
jcaob 03.06.12	You take the glass, "why not?" You sip the whiskey but be sure not to let the toe in the glass. Surprisingly, it tastes great, and doesn't burn too much. "Huh.." you set the glass down and turn to the men. "Thanks." The woman starts to speak again. "Well, anything else I can help you with?"
thumbcrusher 03.06.12	send one to the men with an ear in it
tarkus 03.06.12	"yes, i cant help but notice that strange black liquid, can you explain that?"
jcaob 03.06.12	You ask her about the liquid coming from her mouth, and she slams her open palm on the bar assertively. "Charles, please show this man to the door." One of the men from the corner gets up and walks over to you. He grabs you by the shoulders and takes you to the door. Do you resist? If so, how?
thumbcrusher 03.06.12	Say "now now, calm down. what would you say to a game of monopoly??"
DotEight 03.06.12	I'm too fucking high to understand this thread.
tarkus 03.06.12	use your 9mm, and set your AK to single shot, be prepared to whip it out in case the others get up to attack
jcaob 03.06.12	You grab your 9mm and jab it into the mans stomach. He releases you, raises his hands and steps backwards slowly. "Now now", he says, "no need to get rowdy." The other men push their chairs back and stand up. You pull out your AK, and set it to single shot. You yell at them to sit down, and they comply. Do you wish to gain information from them, kill them, or leave?
thumbcrusher 03.06.12	befriend them over monopoly, then ask them about the black stuff
tarkus 03.06.12	interrogate them with these questions: Who runs the convoys? Why is there a mysterious black liquid? What country am I in? also what state/province
Ire 03.06.12	"be prepared to whip it out in case the others get up to attack" i don't see how your cock is going to make the situation any better
tarkus 03.06.12	oh it will ramy it will
jcaob 03.06.12	Pointing the gun at them, you decide you have the perfect leverage to gain information. "Who runs the convoys that are driving up to that house?!" "Kid", one of the men says, "You're bargaining for more than you can handle here. Put the fucking gun down." You ignore him, and gesture the gun towards them again. "Answer me now!" "Listen." It's the woman at the counter. You step back so you can keep your gun on all of them at the same time. "Nobody knows who the men up the road are. Nobody even knows how we got here. They've been conducting experiments. Kidnappin' people, ya know? They've put chemicals in our water supply, and if we try to leave, they'll just find us and kill us." You lower your gun a bit, you feel a bit more at ease knowing that they are just as confused as you are. "That's all I can tell you, kid, we don't know nothin' else, but you better get out of here." You lower your gun to your side. What do you do now?
thumbcrusher 03.06.12	ask them for a game of monopoly
jcaob 03.06.12	"Say, do you guys have any board games? I wouldn't mind a game of monopoly right now." They start laughing, you made yourself look like an idiot.
tarkus 03.06.12	thumb you idiot ask the citizens if they wish to join a rebellion against the oppressors
johnnyblaze 03.06.12	no, head for the woods. go to convenience store first.
Recspecs 03.06.12	Bend over and take it in the ass like a champ.
thumbcrusher 03.06.12	i thought i might lighten the atmosphere :(
BallsToTheWall 03.06.12	FIND THE NEAREST WAFFLE HOUSE, HAVE AN ALL STAR SPECIAL AND HOTWIRE AN ARMORED DELOREAN LOCATED NEARBY AN ABANDONED GAS STATION.
jcaob 03.06.12	"Well, why the hell do you guys take this crap? Why don't you fight them?" Charles shakes his head, "And how the hell do you suppose we do that? With all the shit they've pumped into our systems, well, we can't do much. They outnumber us anyways, and it's not like we can go and ask em if we can just hold their gun fer a second." You pause a moment, then turn to leave. You open the door and walk out to see some men with guns across the street hauling the dead police officer out of the building. You step back in and keep the door open just a bit to look out. If you try to get to the convenience store, they'll see you. What do you do?
BallsToTheWall 03.06.12	SNEAK OUT AND FIND THE NEAREST WAFFLE HOUSE, HAVE AN ALL STAR SPECIAL AND HOTWIRE AN ARMORED DELOREAN LOCATED NEARBY AN ABANDONED GAS STATION.
tarkus 03.06.12	balls has the right idea
Sevhead 03.06.12	what the fuck is this Dungeon Master shit
Sirob 03.06.12	you walk out the door and grab a beer for the road. but instead of drinking it, you light it on fire and throw it back inside the bar
BallsToTheWall 03.06.12	AFTER YOU HOTWIRE THE DELOREAN YOU DRIVE STEALTHILY THROUGH THE AREA AND PROCEED TO HEAD INTO THE WOODS. YOU STOP WHEN YOU SEE WHAT APPEARS TO BE AN ABANDONED CHURCH. INSIDE YOU FIND PAGAN SCRIPTURES, AXES, KNIVES, STEROID INJECTIONS, MRE'S, STEEL RESERVE AND 9 MM AMMO. YOU REFILL 9MM AMMO, PACK KNIVES FOR CLOSE QUARTERS SELF DEFENSE, INJECT STEROIDS TO BOOST STRENGTH, DRINK STEEL RESERVE TO HEIGHTEN SENSES AND PACK MRES FOR PORTABLE FOOD SUSTENANCE.
jcaob 03.06.12	You can't light a beer on fire, you have no lighter. You sneak outside and shut the door lightly behind you. They seem to be busy loading the body into a truck, so you run around back to the other side of the building. There is no waffle house, but the convenience store might have some in a box. You check if the coast is clear, and something catches your eye. A light in the upstairs floor of the convenience store is flashing on and off. Do you investigate the store?
BallsToTheWall 03.06.12	Yes.....and you find a dragonbone sword which boosts the stamina and health of the one who wields it.
johnnyblaze 03.06.12	store. get food and lighters. go to woods.
Sevhead 03.06.12	listen to abbey road stoned in the woods.
Relinquished 03.06.12	lol this thread
Sirob 03.06.12	You go to the woods where you find some weed. Then you cut off your Left arm to use as a weapon because you're high
jcaob 03.06.12	You wait until the men are into the van and you dart across the street the the corner store. Much like the police station, the door is crooked, hanging off the hinges. There's a foul smell coming from inside, and it's dark. You open the door, and startled by the sound of creaking, something shuffles around on the floor. The room is pitch black. You reach through the doorway and feel around the wall for a light switch, but you find none. There is more scuffling on the ground. Do you enter anyways?
johnnyblaze 03.06.12	yup
BallsToTheWall 03.06.12	Draw out the AK-47 and proceed.
tarkus 03.06.12	no fuck that shit we didnt take acid yet
Sirob 03.06.12	Yeah this needs more drugs I'm with tarkus
WashboardSuds 03.06.12	commenting so I can come back and continue reading later. so entertaining
jcaob 03.06.12	Good idea. You equip your AK, and step into the room. Something scuffles again, and then stops. You hear squeaking, and then footsteps that sound like they are running upstairs. All of a sudden the lights turn on. All the shelves are broken, there is mold growing everywhere, which would explain the smell. Keeping your gun raised, you walk in. What do you do?
BallsToTheWall 03.06.12	Inside you find Daedric armor. You equip Daedric guantlets, armor,shield, boots because shitty street clothes do nothing for street cred.
Sevhead 03.06.12	listen to abbey road stoned in the woods.
jcaob 03.06.12	Behind some shelves you find a body on the floor. There is bruises around his neck that look fairly new. It looks like he was strangled. You see he is dressed with a thick vest, and some other protective gear, as well as some boots. You decide it would do you some good to change into his clothes, and you put what you were previously wearing into your bag. Was this perhaps somebody working with the convoys? You see a couple 9mm rounds beside him, and pick them up. Inventory: 9mm, AK-47, 7x 9mm ammo, 60x AK-47 ammo, 1 can of corn, 1 unidentified meds, torn shirt, torn pants The lights start flickering and you hear footsteps upstairs. A bang, and the lights go off again. Everything is quiet. Do you get the hell out of there, or search for food/investigate?
tarkus 03.06.12	kill everyone in the convoy with single shot of AK
jcaob 03.06.12	The convoy is already gone up the road to the house you escape from.
Recspecs 03.06.12	What the fuck man.
Sevhead 03.06.12	listen to abbey road stoned in the woods.
johnnyblaze 03.06.12	search for food
jcaob 03.06.12	You reach around in the dark, feeling the shelves, and putting what you can find into your bag. The only light is coming from the open doorway, and it's just enough for you to get out without tripping on something. Outside the door, you open your bag to see what you've found. 1 can of corn, 2 bottles of water, 1 unidentified meds, 1 can of pork Inventory: 9mm, AK-47, 7x 9mm ammo, 60x AK-47 ammo, 2 cans of corn, 2 unidentified meds, torn shirt, torn pants, 2 bottles of water, 1 canned pork Capacity: 13/20
Ire 03.06.12	have spearrow FLY to pallet town
Cells 03.06.12	okay take some of the unidentified meds and go to the woods
johnnyblaze 03.06.12	go to the woods [2]
jcaob 03.06.12	You reach into your bags and grab a bottle of meds. You open it and drop a couple into your hands. Hoping for the best, you tilt your head back and swallow them. Within only a few seconds, your hand stops pulsing. You unwrap the shirt you tied around your hand and see that your cells are regenerating at an astonishing speed. Interesting. You look over towards the road leading into the woods and start heading there. You reach the end of town and look back. You can see the house far away, there is dark smoke coming out of the chimney. The man by the house is still asleep, and everything is still quiet. You turn back to face the road and take a step. "Hey! Put your fucking hands up!" Startled, you turn around. There is a man standing there, dressed in a bulletproof vest over top of a suit. He is holding an M4 and aiming it at your head. You put your hands up and 3 more men come out from behind a building and come up next to him. He gives the signal to detain you, and they come forward. What do you do?
Cells 03.06.12	If there is any chance of escaping without dying then choose that. If not then yield to the man with the gun.
johnnyblaze 03.06.12	beg for your life and freedom
tarkus 03.06.12	Vests only cover the torso light those motherfuckers up
Cells 03.06.12	Next episode???
jcaob 03.06.12	You notice that all of them are equipped with guns. Try to shoot one, and you'd be dead in seconds. You look around you, there isn't anywhere you can go. You could run into the trees, but they are more than a couple yards away and wouldn't do you any good. You relax, knowing there is nothing you can do. They grabbed you, and pushed you to the ground. Your hands are tied behind your back with rope, and your weapons are confiscated. You look up to see them all standing around you, they laugh, then a sudden impact on the side of your head knocks you out cold. --------------------- You feel tired, you open your eyes and raise your head. You're seated at a table, dressed in a red velvet cover. Your hands are tied around the back of the chair. Packs of cigarettes take the place of plates and cutlery, a bunch of men sit around a table, some dressed in suits, and some dressed in torn and dirty clothes, bandannas and guns slung around their backs. They go quiet and look at you. "Well, it seems that our guest woken up, I do hope we didn't disturb you." What do you say?
Cells 03.06.12	Say, "Bro let me out and ill hook you up with some dank kush, my dealer's right round the corner"
johnnyblaze 03.06.12	lol jacob buddy, let's pick er back up eh...
BallsToTheWall 03.06.12	Go super sayian and rape them all with your berzerker fury.
jdennis31 03.06.12	^whilst spreading your aids which kills you and all your captors immediately after raping last kidnapper
Eulogize 03.06.12	Oh my dear God this thread rules.
thumbcrusher 03.06.12	i'm so excited for the next update it's ridiculous
Eulogize 03.06.12	Me too. I've read through all the comments and this is fucking awesome.
Cells 03.06.12	This is SO better then Pretty Little Liars.
tarkus 03.06.12	this thread is the reason i took forever on my homework last night my submission: where is this place?
thumbcrusher 03.06.12	^same i was up till half one doing work but i kept being enticed back!
jcaob 03.07.12	"Listen... bro... let me out of here and I'll... hook you up with some kush." You're mumbling, and you notice your shirt is wet from drool. Your belongings are gone and you feel slightly nauseous. The man on the opposite side of the tabel from you speaks up, "Well, seems like you're still a bit delusional, you know you were talking up quite a bit of nonsense in your sleep." "Should I put him out again, boss?" one of the men beside you says. There is a scar going across his left eye, which is missing it's pupil, replaced with a light blue splotch. "No, no, he'll start making sense in a moment", and you feel he is right, Your head is gradually becoming a little less clouded, and your thoughts aren't as scrambled. The rope tied around your hands is extremely uncomfortable. "So, I'm sure you're wondering why you're here. Well, you just happen to be one of our latest... successes, and we can't exaclty have you running amok in town now, can we?" Everyone in the room laughs a little, then resumes chatting quietly amongst themselves. The man continues, "I must say I'm quite impressed, first you beat up one of my guards and escape our little estate here, then you walk to town, kill the police officer-"
jcaob 03.07.12	"I'm not surprised", interupts one of the men, "he was a little less than competent" The boss resumes, "and I must apologize for the little mishap you had with one of our residents, you see, they are still a little unstable. Oh, I'm sorry, I tend to ramble quite a bit. I'll cut to the chase." He slides a cigarette out from his pack and places it inbetween his lips. Motioning with one hand, one of the men tosses him a lighter. He lights his cigarette, inhales, and continues as a cloud of smoke crawls out of his lips, "Through various expiriments, we've managed to alter your DNA so that when certain chemicals are absorbed into your system, your cells will generate rapidly. Through trial and error, we've found that you must have a certain gene for this to work, we just wish we would have found you earlier. Now, I have a proposal for you. Join us, or we kill you." You start to feel a bit of room in your restraints, just enough to slip out. The man sitting next to you has his gun sitting next to him, and you could reach it if you are fast enough. There is about 10 men in the room, all scattered. Most of them don't look like they are paying a lot of attention, they don't expect you to try anything, after all, you are tied to a chair without any weapons. There are two doors on either side of you, both about 3 meteres away. What do you do? Try your luck at escape, press for more information, or accept the offer to join them?
Sirob 03.07.12	YES more of this thread. and more info obviously.
jcaob 03.07.12	Here is a diagram of the room: http://i.imgur.com/BsEfy.png What information do you wish to gain?
Sirob 03.07.12	how long the cell regeneration power will last, will i die if i get shot, and where the nearest restroom is
BallsToTheWall 03.07.12	break loos, grab the weaponry, shoot the boss in the skull, leave the room guns blazing into the wilderness.
jcaob 03.07.12	I think may have stumbled upon a good idea, Sirob. The nearest restroom is thriugh the door to your right and up a flight of stairs. When you take the meds, the cell regeneration only repairs your current wounds.
TomArnoldsArmpit 03.07.12	go to the bathroom, pull up sputnik on your handy smart phone, and make a list about what's going on. and then regenerate your health or whatever
jcaob 03.07.12	"I'm gonna piss my pants if I don't go to the bathroom right now, man." The man shakes his head and makes eye contact with the man beside you to signal him to take you there. "You have 5 minutes" he says. The man beside you grabs his gun, and puts his other arm under yours to lift you out of your seat. He props the barrel of his AK against your back and veers you in the direction of the door to your right, then left up the set of stairs. Just down the hallway is the door to the washroom. He unties your restraints and nudges you in. "Lock the door and I'll bust it down an kill you, mother fucker, do you understand? Don't try anything." He closes the door behind you just a bit, leaving a crack open big enough to stick the barrel of the gun through. The bathroom is completely empty besides a roll of toilet paper. There is a window above the toilet that is latched, and a small vent next to it, not big enough to fit in. There is a medicine cabinet with a mirror. What do you do?
Eulogize 03.07.12	Punch the mirror, obtain a piece of glass and stab the guard in the throat and get the fuck out.
jwyles4 03.07.12	Shit in the guard's face, temporarily blinding him. Take his weapon and then find another route to escape.
johnnyblaze 03.07.12	check the medicine cabinet for a half decent weapon. if nothing, go back to the men and get more info.
Eulogize 03.07.12	need moar updates
GnarlyShillelagh 03.07.12	holy fuck this thread is so ill
GnarlyShillelagh 03.07.12	Stand in the corner next to the door, get low, and piss under the door. Obviously the hope is that the guard notices the pool of urine forming around his feet, gets annoyed, and barges in to see what's going on. As he does, you attack him from behind, knocking him unconscious, and steal his gun. This plan might alarm other guards on the lower level in case the guard gets loud, however, so it might not be the best plan, and other users should veto it if they're seeing something I'm not.
GnarlyShillelagh 03.07.12	Also, grab the toilet paper in case some idiot suggests masturbating again and you actually oblige.
BallsToTheWall 03.07.12	Punch the mirror, obtain a piece of glass and stab the guard in the throat and get the fuck out. (2)
GnarlyShillelagh 03.07.12	That shit's too loud the nigga will kill you as soon as he hears the glass shatter
Cells 03.07.12	Include fapping in Gnarlies plan plz
johnnyblaze 03.07.12	guys, the dudes hand is mutilated, he's drugged up, and he's only got 5 minutes. fapping can wait. good idea on grabbing the TP though Gnar
Eulogize 03.07.12	We all know this guy is going to be heading for the woods soon, fuck toilet paper, he has leaves. Not to mention the toilet paper takes up inventory space, bitches.
BallsToTheWall 03.07.12	Here's the proper solution to get out of this pickle. Conjure a Flame and Frost Atronach to kill everyone in the room, where they will follow you for 60 seconds or until they die as you cross safely out of town.
chambered69 03.07.12	lmao this is so ridiculous
Eulogize 03.07.12	Balls knows what's up.
BallsToTheWall 03.07.12	You then equip yourself with ghostblade, and increase your restoration and one handed attack abilities to 100.
johnnyblaze 03.07.12	balls make your own fantasy themed one... this is serious metal gear solid shit bro.
BallsToTheWall 03.07.12	metal-gear meets skyrim meets Pineapple Express. It still chaps my ass that a romantic subplot hasn't developed yet.
Eulogize 03.07.12	We tried toward the beginning but she apparently didn't wanna go out for a drink.
jcaob 03.07.12	"Hurry up" says the guard. You have to think quick. You grab the roll of toilet paper and wrap it around your fist. You turn to the mirror and punch it, breaking shards of glass into the sink. "What the fuck are you doing?" The guard opens the door, seeing what you've done, he tries to hit you with his gun. You back up into the sink to avoid his blow and grab a shard of glass out of the sink. You thrust it into his throat and he falls to his knees immediately. If you didn't cut straight into his wind pipe, he would probably scream and alert the rest of them, but the only sound he makes is a a quiet gurgling of blood rushing out of his throat and mouth. He grabs his neck and falls onto his side, he'll bleed out in just a minute. What do you do now?
tarkus 03.07.12	fuckin grab his gun and beat that fucker
BallsToTheWall 03.07.12	Not incorporating my my brilliant skyrim ideas? Fuck you man...
jcaob 03.08.12	You grab his AK and smash his skull in. It seems one of the guards had been walking by the staircase and heard a noise. "Hey! What's going on up there Garth?" Well, it seems you know what his name is now, but seeing as how he's dead, he doesn't answer. You hear the guard walking up the stairs. What do you do?
tarkus 03.08.12	hide the body super fast, hide behind the bathroom door, then when guard #2 enters, smash his face too
artificialbox 03.08.12	Holy shit, close and lock the door quickly and throw his body in the bathtub
PayneTiger777 03.08.12	Yo man, I play D&D. I'm all over this shit (lvl 18 sorcerer with twin spell, split ray, easy metamagic, empower spell, sudden maximize).
Eulogize 03.08.12	This is sweet. This thread should last forever.
ncguitar 03.08.12	Just exevo gran mas tera that sob.
jcaob 03.08.12	You lock the door and haul the mans body into the bathtub. Hiding behind the door, you wait. "Hey, are you in there man?" the guard starts twisting the doorknob, and when it doesn't open he starts shaking the door. "Open the fuck up, whats going on!?". He steps back for a second and then kicks the door open. The force of the door presses you up to the wall. He grabs the door and pulls it back to reveal you standing there. What do you do?
tarkus 03.08.12	fuck him up
Eulogize 03.08.12	Gouge his eyes out.
ncguitar 03.08.12	Exevo gran mas flam utani hur
pizzamachine 03.08.12	Grab his balls, whisper in his ear that you love him (for fun), and then twist his neck.
BallsToTheWall 03.08.12	EXPECTO PATRONUM
jcaob 03.08.12	Before you can react, he thrusts his foot into your stomach. Winded, you fall to the floor. He puts one of his feet on your back and keeps his gun aimed at your head. You look around and there is still shards of glass on the floor. He yells to the other men, and you hear them running up. What do you do?
artificialbox 03.08.12	fucking stab him in the achilles tendon
BallsToTheWall 03.08.12	Conjure a Flame and Frost Atronach to kill everyone in the room, where they will follow you for 60 seconds or until they die as you cross safely out of town.
ncguitar 03.08.12	Grab a piece of glass, stab it into his balls. There he will drop his gun, which you will use to smash him. Then see if there is a room nearby that you can escape to.
ncguitar 03.08.12	If not, get ready to Rambo!
johnnyblaze 03.08.12	remain calm. now you've proven yourself. let's not push our luck guys.
jcaob 03.08.12	You reach for the biggest shard of glass you can find and stab it into his ankle. He yells and the pain causes his hand to clench, and a shot fires from his gun, just missing the side of your head by an inch or two. Your ears are ringing, and he's on the floor beside you grabbing his ankle in pain. "FUCK" he screams. You grab the gun off the floor and smash him in the face. The other men are just at the base of the stairs and are running up. In the hallway, there is a couple doors leading into bedrooms. You couldn't really get into any of them without being seen, but there is still a window above the toilet.
ncguitar 03.08.12	Come on, if they get him, he will suffer the worst of tortures.
ncguitar 03.08.12	Where does the window lead to?
tarkus 03.08.12	yeah where does the window go
Eulogize 03.08.12	Who cares where the window leads to, he needs to get the fuck out.
johnnyblaze 03.08.12	out the window... why didnt we go out the window before?
ncguitar 03.08.12	What if the window leads to spikes, like in Prince of Persia?
Eulogize 03.08.12	WE CAN'T JUST END A STORY LIKE THAT
jcaob 03.08.12	Outside the window is the roof above the back porch. (Remember, just say "observe" if you want to know what is in your surroundings.)
johnnyblaze 03.08.12	Go out the window and observe
tarkus 03.08.12	go out the window or if theres no time spray everyone with that ak full auto
jcaob 03.08.12	You stand on top of the toilet and quickly unlatch the window. You swing it open and jump through onto the roof. The men are now up the stairs and coming into the bathroom. You are at the back of the house. There's about an 8 foot drop to the ground. There is a downspout (tube from the gutter to the ground) beside the roof that you stand on, but it doesn't look stable. Behind the wood shed is a thick forest. What do you do?
johnnyblaze 03.08.12	slip down the spout and run to the woods. victory jerk
Eulogize 03.08.12	Try to go down it anyway and run for the forest.
BallsToTheWall 03.08.12	I think it's total bullshit how this continuously leads into running away into a forest, getting captured, breaking loose into the forest again, getting captured again, etc. Come on jcaob....grow some nuts...and vision. You'd make a shitty playwright.
tarkus 03.08.12	8 feet really isnt that big of a drop, if theres time do a hang and drop from that
BallsToTheWall 03.08.12	WHEN THE FUCK IS THE HERO GOING ON THE OFFENSIVE GODAMNIT?
Cells 03.08.12	No he shouldnt jump yet. Go prone on the roof and right when the guards reach the bathroom you light em up with the ak. Then if all are dead go back in the house, take their shit and jizz all over their dead bodies.
artificialbox 03.08.12	yeah do that or go to the shed and see if there's anything useful in there don't run away again
jcaob 03.08.12	You prop yourself against the stucco wall underneath the window that you jumped out of. You hear the guards in the bathroom, and one of them stops to tend to the other one on the floor, bleeding profusely from the ankle. The other sees the open window and comes close to it, sticking his head out. You jab your AK upward into the bottom of his jaw and shoot. You grab his neck and pull it out the window, his body rolls down off the roof. The other guard in the bathroom steps back and raises his gun to the window, he's not going to risk looking out. "He's on the roof of the back porch!" He shouts, signaling some of the others still downstairs to corner you. What do you do?
Cells 03.08.12	there must be another window on the roof leading to another room so go in there and stealthily kill the guard in the bathroom
jcaob 03.08.12	There is another window but it is off to the side off the roof you're standing on, it can't be reached from where you are.
Eulogize 03.08.12	You need to stock up on supplies. Attempt to search the nearby houses?
johnnyblaze 03.08.12	ya run for safety
jcaob 03.08.12	The only nearby houses are back in town. There may be some outside towns through the forest but it could take weeks to find one. There is still the shed though.
RobertFripp 03.08.12	Wow, this is a really violent and profane story.
GnarlyShillelagh 03.08.12	Yo this is some fucked up ish when you first got into the bathroom all there was was toilet paper, a vent, and a mirror now there's a toilet and a bathtub and a window that you can fit through?
artificialbox 03.08.12	no there was always a window, read up. get to the shed as fast as you can
BallsToTheWall 03.08.12	Where's the compelling sotryline, the emotional depth...oh that's right there isn't any.
Eulogize 03.08.12	But mindless killing is fun.
ncguitar 03.08.12	Let's keep this up. Kill the fucker inside, grab all the shit you can, get to an exit in the other end of the house and observe.