Reviews 5
Approval 86%

Soundoffs 64
News Articles 3
Band Edits + Tags 84
Album Edits 265

Album Ratings 2302
Objectivity 75%

Last Active 08-31-17 9:25 pm
Joined 09-02-10

Forum Posts 377
Review Comments 21,816

04.04.16 Teeheehee Rainbow Stab, ranked09.23.14 4 Years With You Maniacs.
08.01.14 No Job, Listen To Music. 04.02.14 Cloudkicker Tour Kick Off.
12.20.13 Omni's Top 100 Of 201310.09.13 Thooper Groopth
07.16.13 Album Titles Take You Places.06.28.13 I Need An Album Right Now.
06.14.13 74 2013 Albums I Listened To In Q2: Sem 04.25.13 Are You A Horrible User? (quiz)
04.12.13 20,000 Lies?03.27.13 Q1: The Highs And Lows
03.18.13 Greatest rec list ever, FUBU.02.22.13 See All Your Lists, Is There A Way?
02.21.13 Wherever My Obsessions Take Me02.05.13 Alt Recs for MysteriousNewUser
01.29.13 A Tall Order For Today.01.18.13 Stop On In If You're Bored, Digs Rated.
More »

Army Of One...

I have no idea but this came to mind on my drive in to work today: So, in the mid nineties when I was 18 I had graduated high school and was completely aimless. One night after being up for 36 hours roughly 10 of which were spent at various Waffle Houses and having had multiple conversations about going nowhere slow my buddy Kev and I made the decision to join the Army. We shaved his head (I didn?t want my head shaved) sacked up and headed on down to the recruiters office. We took the pre-test and did well enough to get the recruiters frothing at the mouth and were introduced to the officer in charge of the area as he happened to be there for the day. We agreed to go take the ASVAB (I?ve always heard it pronounced ass-vab or az-vab) the next weekend and headed home and eventually crashed. After about 15 hours of sleep we woke up and immediately decided that there was no way in hell we were going into the army. We called the recruiter and backed out of the appointment for that weekend. Roughly an hour later the commanding officer called to inform us that we were fucking pussy retards that deserved to be disemboweled and beheaded. Luckily for us we were crashing at our crazy anti-authoritarian friend?s house who took great pleasure in taking over the conversation as he was always looking for an opportunity to cut his teeth on an insult veteran. Once it was decided that the officer was going to come and kill us the call was terminated. Roughly an hour after that the original recruitment officer called to apologize and explain that the commanding officer was unstable and would be retired in a few weeks/months (I don?t remember). He also assured us that no one would be killing anyone. Anyone else have a pleasant recruitment story like this? List is digs and new stuff for today.
On the Boards
You'd Prefer An Astronaut
Downward Is Heavenward
6Team Sleep
Team Sleep
Manic Compression
In It for the Money
I Should Coco
10Texas is the Reason
Do You Know Who You Are?
Show/Add Comments (16)


Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Site Copyright 2005-2017
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy