Reviews 24
Approval 97%

Soundoffs 1
News Articles 4
Band Edits + Tags 10
Album Edits 18

Album Ratings 2167
Objectivity 92%

Last Active 04-09-11 7:12 am
Joined 06-22-10

Forum Posts 66
Review Comments 981

04.13.11 Jung Personality Test04.12.11 Super Sexy Jazzy Noise
04.06.11 A Zappa List To Tickle Your Funny Bone04.06.11 More Sex! (free Nudes Inside)
04.04.11 Sex! 03.21.11 Ch-ch-changes
03.14.11 Awesome Mashups03.07.11 Glassjaw's Setlist...
02.17.11 38 Poopy Songs By Poopy Bands...01.23.11 Black Sabbath, Ranked

A Zappa List To Tickle Your Funny Bone

Hey! You know what's awesome? Frank Zappa! Yes, one of the most prolific, experimental, and straight up GENIUS artists to have ever lived. You know what's even better? Laughter! Yes, laughter! Like laughing at a clever anecdote or any movie with George Lopez (the only man to rival the genius of Zappa, coincidentally). So, here's the best of Zappa, with, the best Zappa jokes I could dig up from the ol' archives! Enjoy these gutbuster zingdoodles coming straight from my noggin'.
1Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
Absolutely Free

So, Youngster #1 walks up to Youngster #2 and asks, "Would you like to trade Pokemon?", to which Youngster #2 replies, "ABSOLutely!"
2 Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
We're Only In It For The Money

Why did Jerry Seinfeld voice act in "Bee Movie"? Because he was only in it for the HONEY!
3Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
Weasels Ripped My Flesh

What excuse did the little boy have for not turning in his homework? "Weasels ripped my flesh off!"
4Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
Over-nite Sensation

What do you call an evening with your mother? An Overnight sensation!
5Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
Freak Out!

What did Chris Benoit say before he killed his family? FREAK OUT!
6Frank Zappa
Hot Rats

What is a rat's favorite game? Hide and SQUEEK!
7 Frank Zappa

Jim's grammar skills were so bad, they were an APOSTROPHE!
8Frank Zappa
Lumpy Gravy

What do you call the ejaculate of an aging, over weight English man? LUMPY GRAVY!
9Frank Zappa
Studio Tan

How do you make a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until its bill withers!
10Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
Uncle Meat

What did Dan tell his nephew to call him when they're alone? UNCLE MEAT!
11Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
Burnt Weeny Sandwich

So, Aneglo asks Pam, "Are you hungy?", to which she replies, "Starving!". So, Aneglo makes a phone call, and within the hour Burt Reynolds arrives. Pam asks, "Oh my God, BURT REYNOLDS! Why are you here?!" Burt proceeds to drop his pants and puts his penis in a hotdog bun. Angelo exclaims, "We're having BURT WEENY SANDWICHES for lunch today!"
12Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
One Size Fits All

So, Jean-Claude Van Damme is angry at his wife. In terror, she screams, "Stop! You can't hit a woman!", to which he replies, "Don't size fits all!", and then he punches her. HAR!
13 Frank Zappa
Joe's Garage: Acts I, II, & III

I told a friend, "My uncle Joe spends all his time hanging out in the garage." "That's odd", he says. I reply, "Right? I didn't know he even knew how to make a noose!"
14 Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
Roxy & Elsewhere

What was the name of the book Briano Eno wrote about being on tour with Roxy Music? ROXY AND ELSEWHERE! BAH HAR!
15Frank Zappa
The Grand Wazoo

What do the townsfolk call Timmy's whore mother's vagina? THE GRAND WAZOO!
16Frank Zappa
You Are What You Is

17Frank Zappa

So, Bob Marley and Fozzie Bear are hanging out one day. Bob Marley turns to Fozzie and says, "Waka!", to which Fozzie Bear replies, "Whaaaaat?! Waka?!". Bob Marley replies, "JAH! WAKA!". And that is the story of how Fozzie Bear got his catch phrase and screwed Bob Marley out of millions.
18Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
Live At The Fillmore East June 1971

"Back in my day, I use to watch Jefferson Airplane at the Fillmore all the time", said the hippy. "Really?", asked his gullible son. "PSYCHedelic!", he responded.
19Frank Zappa
Chunga's Revenge

What is former chief justice Bernard Chunga of Kenya waiting for? HIS REVENGE!
20Frank Zappa
Sleep Dirt

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes." The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes." The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?" She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa!"
21Frank Zappa
Zoot Allures

What noise does the horn of a Zookeepers car make? ZOOT ZOOT!
22Frank Zappa
London Symphony Orchestra, Vol. 1

What do you call a group of rapists in bow ties? THE LONDON SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA!
23Frank Zappa
Sheik Yerbouti

The title of this is already a bad joke, so it's really not necessary to make another.
24Frank Zappa
Them or Us

What did Mentally Unstable Manny's hands say to him one day? "It's either them, or, us!" And so he brutally murdered his friends with his bare hands.
25Frank Zappa
Everything Is Healing Nicely (EIHN)

26Frank Zappa
Orchestral Favorites

Why couldn't Beethoven hear? Because it turns out his hearing aids were actually DICKS!
27Frank Zappa

I thought I was gonna have fish for dinner, judging from the aroma that wafted through the house. Turns out, my wife was just airing out her vagina!
28Frank Zappa
Ship Arriving Too Late to Save a Drowning Witch

So a horse walks into a bar and then realizes that he's actually in his stable. FUCK!
29 Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
Cruising with Ruben & the Jets

What do you call a super group collaboration between Frank Zappa and Elton John? RU-RU-RU-RUBEN AND THE JETS!
30Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
Ahead of Their Time

The guillotine was an amazing invention. You could say it was A HEAD of its time!
31Frank Zappa
Jazz From Hell

What do you call Yanni's last record? Jazz from hell!
32Frank Zappa
Civilization Phaze III

What did Hitler call his plans for exterminating the Jews? Civilization Phaze III! (imagine the "Z" is a swastika instead..."
33Frank Zappa
The Man from Utopia
34Frank Zappa
The Yellow Shark

The boy jumped out of the community pool, frightened. "Shark!", he yelled, and ran away. At home he told his mother, "I SAW A YELLOW SHARK!", to which his mother replied, "That wasn't a shark...THAT WAS PEE!"
35Frank Zappa
Make a Jazz Noise Here

What did Miles Davis say to Sonny Rollins? "Make a jazz noise here!"
36Frank Zappa
The Best Band You Never Heard in Your Life

The Glands
37Frank Zappa
Zappa In New York

How did Frank Zappa die? From sticking his penis in New York! (ya know...that one black chick with the show...)
38Frank Zappa
Bongo Fury

What do you call a bear playing the drums? BONGO FURY!
39Frank Zappa
Tinsel Town Rebellion

40Frank Zappa
Francesco Zappa

What is my favorite thing in the world? Frank sex. Oh, Zappa!
41Frank Zappa
Frank Zappa Meets the Mothers of Prevention

42Frank Zappa
Baby Snakes

What did the naive child call worms? Baby snakes!
43Frank Zappa
The Lost Episodes

of Chappelle's Show was pretty disappointing. I don't know, what do you guys think?
44Frank Zappa
200 Motels

Where would you find the world's largest deposit of dried semen? In the bed sheets of 200 Detroit Motels!
45Frank Zappa

What did the mammoth say before drowning? "Gee...tar!"
Show/Add Comments (9)


Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Site Copyright 2005-2017
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy