Scoot: Embarrassing/awkward Moments

Scoot 03.26.11	post yours here so we can laugh and such
Trebor. 03.26.11	I puked on the floor the first day of 3rd grade
Kimm 03.26.11	One time I was in the school library and I was gassy and someone tickled me and I let one out.
Scoot 03.26.11	gross lol
fr33convict 03.26.11	One time I was on Sputnik and there was a girl.
Scoot 03.26.11	oh noes
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	When I was a freshman, I was running the hundred meter. This is back in day when it was cool to wear shoes that are too big for you. Well anyways, they fell off and I hit the ground and fucked up my arm and hit the back of my head at the same time (?). So I sat up, looked at my arm which was totally fucked. Looked at foot, noticed I was missing a shoe, and in a state of delirium and shock I started screaming things like "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SHOE" at the top of my lungs
Trebor. 03.26.11	That's not embarrassing, that's just unfortunate
Kimm 03.26.11	Lmao
Josh D. 03.26.11	Not too long ago, I asked a girl to have sex and she said yes.
Trebor. 03.26.11	But she was really a guy
Josh D. 03.26.11	No.
Kimm 03.26.11	But Josh didn't care.
MO 03.26.11	with big jugs
Josh D. 03.26.11	No.
Kimm 03.26.11	It's all the same from behind.
MO 03.26.11	and an adam's apple to boot
Josh D. 03.26.11	No.
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	He didn't know where to go from there. Couldn't find the hole. Probably hard for him to see with his head so far up his own ass.
Josh D. 03.26.11	No.
Trebor. 03.26.11	yes
armfarm 03.26.11	and it was the best sex he'd ever had.
pizzamachine 03.26.11	Oh.
Crimson Death 03.26.11	I posted this on one of my lists before: I had been holding in gas all day at work(gym) and I was using the bioelectrical impedance (body fat % test) handheld device, and I was holding it out and this trainer chick comes by playfully and bumps into me, her elbow to the side of my abdomen as she walked behind me. Well, I unleashed hell from my nether regions directly onto her. I yelled in that fake pain sort of way hoping maybe it covered the sound. I was a little late...needless to say, it didn't work.
North0House2 03.26.11	My ex asked me to have sex with her. I almost said yes, but then I realized that I didn't want to risk getting an STD since she's active. Sooooo, I just stood there for awhile staring at her, then I walked away. It was weird.
Scoot 03.26.11	socially awkward penguin always makes me lol
Trebor. 03.26.11	Just wrap your rascal dude
taxidermist 03.26.11	@Crimson I remember that story XD
CelestialDust 03.26.11	scoot you are one handsome fella
North0House2 03.26.11	Lol, Crimson, that sucks. I hate when I have to fart all day at school, then it gets so bad that when I laugh it hurts. I wish my school days weren't 8 hours long...
iFghtffyrdmns 03.26.11	When I was younger, I used to go to Cedar Point every year with my family. We would always stay in this one hotel that had all these hot tubs...Anyways, I was about 13 years old and sitting in a jacuzzi when this very very cute girl who was probably about my age sits down next to me. Naturally, I felt nervous and awkward but tried to act cool anyways. After about a minute she turns to me, smiles, and says "wow, it's really hot in here." I, in my "cool" state, deliberately and arrogantly stated, "OH. I'm sorry, I better leave then!" at which point I shot to my feet, walk away from the tub and directly into a glass wall that I hadn't seen, resulting in a bloody nose and a deflated ego which still hurts today.
Scoot 03.26.11	^^^is that your idea of an awkward moment? haha
taxidermist 03.26.11	Embarrasing story...um. This one time when I was in high school, I was doing my weekly mile. This is back when I was at my heaviest weight of 330 lbs (DAMN! I know :p) I was on like my third lap, I was tired as shit and still trying to run as fast as I could. My friend comes up from behind and gives me a light shove, but because I was so tired I just went forward and completely ate shit. The people who saw had grin's on their faces...heartless bastards! :p
BallsToTheWall 03.26.11	One time I talked to a girl. I ran away afterwards only to catch fireflies with a fishnet.
North0House2 03.26.11	"When I was younger, I used to go to Cedar Point every year with my family. We would always stay in this one hotel that had all these hot tubs...Anyways, I was about 13 years old and sitting in a jacuzzi when this very very cute girl who was probably about my age sits down next to me. Naturally, I felt nervous and awkward but tried to act cool anyways. After about a minute she turns to me, smiles, and says "wow, it's really hot in here." I, in my "cool" state, deliberately and arrogantly stated, "OH. I'm sorry, I better leave then!" at which point I shot to my feet, walk away from the tub and directly into a glass wall that I hadn't seen, resulting in a bloody nose and a deflated ego which still hurts today." I thought something else was gonna happen.
MO 03.26.11	was at a party way back in high school, some random person I'd never met said "let's play a drinking game, the object is to drink a bottle of whatever you have as fast as possible", I figured fuck yea, chugged back a couple rounds of shit ass coolers, when that was done went on to drink other booze and ended up letting loose a waterfall of epic proportions, who ever said you couldnt mix drinks??!!
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	It was my bro's dad's birthday so me, him and his best girlfriend from the states were baking a cake. There was a bunch of chocolate batter left so we ended up having a massive chocolate batter war (we broke his parents' wedding picture too rofl). At the end we were all covered in chocolate so we had to go take showers. I got out first and while my bro was in the shower I was talking to his friend and I was like "hey you should let me put on one of your dresses just to freak out Cj when he gets out of the shower. She's like 5'3 and I'm six feet tall so it was really fucking small on me. Anyways, he got out of the shower and thought it was hilarious and he wanted to take a picture. So we go into the kitchen to find a camera, he's in just a towel and I'm in his friend's dress and suddenly his dad walks in house. Looks at us. Closes the door. So fucking funny.
iFghtffyrdmns 03.26.11	....yeah I thought it was pretty awkward/embarassing.
iFghtffyrdmns 03.26.11	also: anyone here that's ever experienced whiskey dick knows the meaning of embarrassing/awkward. whattayagannado, shit happens
Scoot 03.26.11	ah yes whiskey dick nature's cockblock
WeepingBanana 03.26.11	the first time i got a bj it took me like 10 min to get hard. i was boarderline raging at my dick. i hadn't cum like a month before that so it didn't really make any sense
iFghtffyrdmns 03.26.11	hahahaha wow weeping that really sucks.
WeepingBanana 03.26.11	also i was totally sober
Crimson Death 03.26.11	@taxidermist, lol I saw you in the list when I went back to copy/paste it. @North0House2 Your story wasn't awkard it sounded quite manly, actually. You condescended nonverbally. And yeah, I remember high school I'd be taking naps in Study Hall 7th period after massive gas build up, and it was total silence...except for the noises exploding from within my intestines. And then when I'd take a nap, I'd lose control of holding it I'm sure, because I'd have a lot of awkward stares when I wake up.
WeepingBanana 03.26.11	i mean don't get me wrong i got hard eventually and it was awesome but it was quite the scare
MO 03.26.11	ouch man
Scoot 03.26.11	happens to the best of us
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	I wouldn't get hard being blown by a guy either man
WeepingBanana 03.26.11	but you know, she eventually made my banana weep if you know what i mean ;)
North0House2 03.26.11	Man, gas explosions suck. Both from refineries and from within your body. Either way, death occurs.
BallsToTheWall 03.26.11	gotta love a happy ending. If I watched porn and couldn't get it up I think I would jump in front of a train.
pizzamachine 03.26.11	A girl dryhumped me when I was talking to my friends.
Kimm 03.26.11	Funny thread is funny.
Scoot 03.26.11	weep kind of reminds me of droop so what I'm guessing happened is she was at it for 20 mins and nothing happened right? :p
WeepingBanana 03.26.11	how does weep remind you of droop?
North0House2 03.26.11	This gay kid hit on me once.
Scoot 03.26.11	weeping willows i guess
Crimson Death 03.26.11	@Weeping, I had the same thing happen and I wore down her mouth, neck and knees...basically we had to stop after 40 minutes because...she sucked at sucking. I don't think it was my fault to begin with. @Zippatherippa I LOL'D SO hard. Oh here's another one with the same chick from my previous story. This was more recent. I spotted her on barbell squats (she's TINY, and had 155lbs on the bar). She lost control at her core and started to go down. Natural reaction for me on squat is to pull the person up from their chest. So I groped the hell out of, crushed her tits and pulled her up and her eyes rolled back. She was bright red at the top and said "You just groped me", I replied "I saw your eyes roll back, you enjoyed it". I then got hit, but it was all good, all awkwardness was immediately cleared.
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	@North I hope you fucking punched him out
North0House2 03.26.11	"I hope you fucking punched him out" I wanted to, the kid wouldn't leave me alone. So glad he left the school, holy crap.
WeepingBanana 03.26.11	one time, at my first job (this gay laser tag place), i was working and this girl who was like 2 years older than me and had huge tits handed me something kinda heavy to put somewhere and in the process of taking it from her i inadvertently grabbed her boob. we both knew what happened but i was so shy and awkward that the stone was left unturned
North0House2 03.26.11	Man, that sucks Weeping, you should've at least tried going with it though... lol, but I wouldn't of either, but theoretically, it could've been cool.
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	[b]"I saw your eyes roll back, you enjoyed it"[/b] Fucking rofl
WeepingBanana 03.26.11	she was a fiery latina type. slightly over weight. i thought she was gonna flip her shit at me
North0House2 03.26.11	Okay, last one: I knew this kid, and somehow he started stalking me for whatever reason. He didn't go to my school, I never talked to him, yet somehow, he knew every single class I took, what period I took them in, how long I had been dating my girlfriend at the time, and that I had just recently moved... Seriously, I don't know how he knew all that, so it freaked me out. Then, he got a hold of my phone number. He called me one night, I talked to him for a good hour before I knew who I was talking to, most awkward conversation of my life...
North0House2 03.26.11	"she was a fiery latina type. slightly over weight. i thought she was gonna flip her shit at me" That changes things.
Scoot 03.26.11	that's fucked lol
UnnamedOcean 03.26.11	I once laughed when my friend was talking about how his grandfather died. I felt like a complete asshole after that.
Kimm 03.26.11	I got made fun of mercilessly through middle school because I had no boobs. I went to a different school for the last two years of high school and when I came to visit my old school people were like "Whoaa Kimm has boobs!" You guys have no idea how awkward it is being the last girl to need a real bra.
Josh D. 03.26.11	I was caught masturbating once to a National Geographic magazine. But I don't know who was more embarrassed: me or my dentist.
Oathbreaker 03.26.11	I can't pick a story my whole life is an embarrasment.
WeepingBanana 03.26.11	@unnamedocean, oh god that's the worst one day in high school the band director decided to tell us that his fiance who he had been dating for like 3 years dumped him the night before. i for some reason thought that was hillarious and it took everything i had to hold it back but i was still being quite obvious. he gave me the worst glare ever.
MO 03.26.11	My first backpacking trip through Europe. Me and the chick I was with were headed to the train station and using the metro, this dude was sitting and looking at me the whole time but I didn't think much of it. As we come to the train station he starts writing on a piece of paper, we head off the metro and he puts the piece of paper in my hand and runs to the other side of the metro station to go back to wherever he was supposed to get off, it was his name and number. Quite flattering...but I don't put from the rough.
Kimm 03.26.11	Yeah, trying REALLY hard not to laugh usually just makes you more likely to laugh! I hate that.
Crimson Death 03.26.11	@North0House2, who the hell was he? @Josh D. lol'd hard @ punchline.
foreverendeared 03.26.11	Scoot, I don't understand what's embarrassing about your story. I feel like I'm missing something and it's killin me.
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	HAHAHAHAHA
Scoot 03.26.11	@kimm almost as embarrassing as being 130lbs through most of high school and having to see people younger than you weighing in at over 200lbs of muscle it goes both ways. like a bahsexual
Kimm 03.26.11	...MetallicOpeth, you're a guy rght?
Josh D. 03.26.11	You can't read, apparently.
Josh D. 03.26.11	I got caught masturbating while watching The Room. Fucked up. And strangely enough, the movie Red Planet.
Scoot 03.26.11	@forevendeared I basically said not to worry about getting run over because I could outbike the cop in a police car when the topic was him accidentally hitting me
MO 03.26.11	hahahahaha
iFghtffyrdmns 03.26.11	I wonder if she knew, I never flinched as I walked away.
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	That's more like a "dumbass" moment. Funny nevertheless
Josh D. 03.26.11	"@forevendeared I basically said not to worry about getting run over because I could outbike the cop in a police car when the topic was him accidentally hitting me" There doesn't appear to be anything odd/awkward about saying that.
Kimm 03.26.11	Always awkward when you start your period and don't have a tampon and have to ask the school office. SO glad I'm done high school. That ever happen to any of you guys?
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	All the time
Scoot 03.26.11	had to be there I guess
MO 03.26.11	tampons are my fav
BallsToTheWall 03.26.11	I have no problem with farting in front of hot girls. Public or not,
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	well we always knew you were a fudgepacker
iFghtffyrdmns 03.26.11	I dutch-oven'd this high school chick the one time because she wanted to sleep in my bed but literally wouldn't do anything. #winning
MO 03.26.11	hahaha she deserved it
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	damn I wish I knew what that meant
MO 03.26.11	chicks giving you head and you fart while she's still under the sheets
Scoot 03.26.11	lol dutch oven pwnage
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	XD
wyankeif1337 03.26.11	hey Scoot i feel really retarded right now: i don't understand the awkward moment in the description. please explain, after which you may make fun of me.
taxidermist 03.26.11	Here's a nasty story. My bro's gf told me that she had a friend. This friend happened to work with her boyfriend. He went to the bathroom and a little while later she went in there with him. She automatically puls down his pants and starts sucking his ass. Moments later a little shit nugget falls on her tongue and she flips out. Gets mad. starts cussing, the usual when you get shit in your mouth. She says "wtf!" and the guy is just like "no one asked you to come in and start licking my asshole." Lol.
Josh D. 03.26.11	I don't believe you.
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	The fuck
taxidermist 03.26.11	Eh, it does sound a little odd, but I lol'd when she told me :p
Crimson Death 03.26.11	LOL what the fawk? taxidermist...wow, mind-blown. How was the girl's relation with the friend after that? And damn, did she die of diseases?
Scoot 03.26.11	Okay, I'll break it down. 1) Going mountain biking after leaving my girlfriend's house. 2) Her dad comes and talks to me about the bike. 3) He says "You don't have a light on your handlebars?" implying that I was planning on riding after dark too. 4) I say "Oh no...I don't really need it for night riding." 5) He says "What about the cop who runs you over?" (implying that the cop needs it to see me) 6) I say "Oh don't worry, I'll just outrun him :)" because I didn't really hear what he said/thought he was joking back. He wasn't. got to the end of the driveway before it hit me.
MO 03.26.11	haha it's not too complicated really
Josh D. 03.26.11	Makes as little sense as before/still not awkward.
UnnamedOcean 03.26.11	I've literally had tons of awkward situations at band camp.
taxidermist 03.26.11	Well they were probably good friends. I don't think I'd tell anybody if I literally ate shit, lol.
Scoot 03.26.11	"Makes as little sense as before/still not awkward." maybe it's because you can't comprehend things
Crimson Death 03.26.11	Oh nevermind, I thought the girl licked her friend's boyfriend's asshole. Scoot, I gotcha now.
Josh D. 03.26.11	"maybe it's because you can't comprehend things" Or saying you will outrun a cop isn't an awkward thing to say. Telling her dad you would have a cock measuring contest with him would be awkward. Your story is not.
Kimm 03.26.11	This one time at bandcamp one of the chaperones was leaning back in his chair and tilted it really far back and I just stood there three feet away holding my breakfast and watched as his chair toppled over backwards.
Scoot 03.26.11	okay sweet
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	Why the flying fuck would you do that in the first place
taxidermist 03.26.11	Lol, people falling out of their chairs is hilarious for some reason.
DeafMetal 03.26.11	I was completely baked last night so I went to Sheetz to cure my cotton mouth. When I got there I realized I left my wallet at home and only had a dollar on me. I ran into this guy I sort of know. Of course he starts talking to me and I can only manage to say "cool" after every thing he says, simultaneously trying to find a drink from the cooler for under a dollar. I was so incapacitated that I couldn't carry any kind of conversation. After a minute of awkward silence and hardly any response from my end, he says "well I can see you're pretty occupied there so I'll talk to you later". So fucking awkward.
Kimm 03.26.11	I know. I remember in grade nine social class we were all working on something and a friend stood up to help someone across from him so me and another friend moved his chair and waited for him to try to sit down. Finally we gave up because it was taking so long. Ten minutes later we heard him fall. It was soooo funny.
Crimson Death 03.26.11	It's not that outrunning a cop is awkward, he's just awkwarded out because he was jokingly telling the dad that while daddy was being completely serious the whole time and probably thinks Scoot is a punk. I mean, it's still low on the awkward meter, he could always go back and say "I was joking about earlier...blah blah blah". It's not like you can undo the dentist catching you masturbate.
taxidermist 03.26.11	You ever notice how drunk people yell in your ear even when it's not loud? Just realized that last night at my friends birthday party.
Kimm 03.26.11	Lol @ DeafMetal's story.
taxidermist 03.26.11	The funniest time I saw someone fall off a chair was also in 9th grade. I still remember. The classroom we were in used to be the band room, so there were like little steps. We had those one seater chairs. My friend Silvester tried scooting up a bit and next thing you know one of the legs on the chair goes over and he just falls in the most awkward/hilarious way. The whole class was in an uproar, lol.
defjaw83 03.26.11	One time a girl woke up while I was date raping her. Pretty awkward guys
taxidermist 03.26.11	@defjaw Wtf!?
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	Obviously you didn't hit her hard enough the first time
DeafMetal 03.26.11	Was she?
Scoot 03.26.11	"My friend Silvester tried scooting up" /sees what you did there
taxidermist 03.26.11	Lol, wasn't intentional :3
North0House2 03.26.11	haha, okay, so I was paired up with this kid (who I'm pretty sure has at least autism.) for a project in my computer class. He got the flu for a week, so my teacher paired me up with this girl in my class that didn't know what the heck she was doing... We're HTML coding, which is something I'm pretty familiar with, so I finished our project in a class period, and we were just hanging out for the rest of the week. Then the kid came back this week. He was gonna explode when I told him that I wasn't his partner anymore. I mean he sits next to me anyway, so here am I, sitting at a computer, while this kid right next to me is yelling in my ear about how he doesn't have a partner now and that it's his punishment for being sick and crap, then it looked like he was going to cry or something, as he was yelling at my face. I couldn't get him to stop and the teacher didn't care.
foreverendeared 03.26.11	I've had a couple of embarrassing moments but I cannot for the life of me think of any right now so they must not have been that bad.
Kimm 03.26.11	I was playing hack with a bunch of friends and I was holding a Wendy's Frosty. I kicked too high and din't bend my knee, lost my footing and literally fell flat on my back and my Frosty went everywhere.
DeafMetal 03.26.11	You got owned by an autistic kid.
taxidermist 03.26.11	My friend and I kicked some dude out of our group back when I was in 10th grade. He started crying, but he deserved it. He was a lazy ass who didn't do shit.
North0House2 03.26.11	"You got owned by an autistic kid." Yeah, I did. It was scary, I couldn't get the guy to calm down. What made it even worse was the fact that he was wearing one of those fedora hats... I hate going to a half homeschool high school sometimes. Sure, it's better than where I used to go, and I only have school 2 days a week. But man, the kids there are so weird.
DeafMetal 03.26.11	Should've smoked a bowl with the kid.
North0House2 03.26.11	"My friend and I kicked some dude out of our group back when I was in 10th grade. He started crying, but he deserved it. He was a lazy ass who didn't do shit." Lol, I did that to 3 kids last year cuz they wouldn't work. I aced the project by myself, I felt so proud.
taxidermist 03.26.11	"I was playing hack with a bunch of friends and I was holding a Wendy's Frosty. I kicked too high and din't bend my knee, lost my footing and literally fell flat on my back and my Frosty went everywhere." Lol. For some reason this makes me think back to middle school P.E. We used to be on the field and someone would bend over behind a person and then we'd shove them and watch them fall. The funniest one was when we did it to my friend Jorge. The guy hit the floor, his legs flew up, and he sagged so somehow his pants got pulled lower and we all saw his ass cheeks XD
UnnamedOcean 03.26.11	@North0House. My best friend used to go to what they called a "homeschool resource center." There definitely were some fucked up people there, and I think the only reason he turned out a normal guy is because he decided to go to public high school.
Kimm 03.26.11	OHMYGOSH YES! We used to do that all the time! So hilarious!
North0House2 03.26.11	"My best friend used to go to what they called a "homeschool resource center." There definitely were some fucked up people there, and I think the only reason he turned out a normal guy is because he decided to go to public high school." Dude, yeah, it's crazy... I don't know what's wrong with half of the kids, they're so sheltered. The only reason I'm normal is because I have been going to public, and large private, schools my whole life, so I'm all good. But yeah, these kids, they're weird. My friends and I are the only normal kids there, and even then half of them spend their days shooting rabbits or blowing up spray paint cans. (which is always fun.)
taxidermist 03.26.11	@Kimm Haha, that look of fear as they're falling is priceless!
North0House2 03.26.11	Don't you hate when that happens as your falling asleep?
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	One time on field day, this dumbass kid thought it would be a great idea to get inside a bunch of tires. So there he was standing in a ring of tires up to his neck. I ran up and drop-kicked it over. He wasn't very happy.
Scoot 03.26.11	we were doing a presentation and this kid kept calling cache creek "catch creek" the class kept laughing every time he did it but he still kept saying it
taxidermist 03.26.11	"One time on field day, this dumbass kid thought it would be a great idea to get inside a bunch of tires. So there he was standing in a ring of tires up to his neck. I ran up and drop-kicked it over. He wasn't very happy." Fucking lol!
North0House2 03.26.11	I took a theology class last year cuz I was in a Christian high school. There was a city called Shittim, and we were reading it out loud during class. the teacher kept saying it as "Shit tim." It's pronounced: "Shetteem." lol. I couldn't stop laughing.
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	Last year in the street law class, they had a mock trial and the prosecutor named himself Mike Hawk. The teacher kept pronouncing it My cock, because she didn't get it
North0House2 03.26.11	Hahahahaha.
ZippaThaRippa 03.26.11	best list ever
SeaAnemone 03.26.11	so many bad stories in this thread
Kimm 03.26.11	Lol at Zippa! Why is it SO funny to see people fall?! I was with my friend Cody walking to his church and we had to hop over this ledge to get there. Cody ran and jumped up and I kind of gingerly stepped up slowly because I didn't know if I'd make the jump. Then I tripped over the curb. Also we were in Banff a while ago and we were waiting to cross the street and I tried to step on his foot and I fell on my back. But it was like, a really graceful fall. Everyone else on the corner was like uhhh okay...
Defeater 03.26.11	so why is the story in the description funny?
Kimm 03.26.11	It was embarrassing because Scoot thought he meant he'd get pulled over and just outrun the cop, but the girl's dad was being serous about him getting hit. EVEN I GET IT YOU GUYS!!!
North0House2 03.26.11	I dated this girl from Spain for a month, and she would never stop talking. I took her to a movie, and there were only about 10 people in the theater. She would seriously not be quiet, even while the movie was rolling. This old lady in front of us turned around and flipped out, then the girl I was on a date with went," Well that was rude."
Scoot 03.26.11	jesus thank you kim
Defeater 03.26.11	WHY THE FUCK IS IT FUNNY THOUGH
foreverendeared 03.26.11	"EVEN I GET IT YOU GUYS!!!" I think it was just more that I was expecting an actual embarrassing story since this list was created solely for that purpose.
taxidermist 03.26.11	Lol, falling off a bike is the worst. I fell of my bike a while back like right outside my house. I opened my gate, pedaled as fast as I could, then idk what happened and I fell. I got up lightning quick and kept going, but man did my hands hurt!
North0House2 03.26.11	I don't even know how people fall of their bikes... I've almost bitten it a few times, but when I know my bike is on a crash course, I just jump off and I'm fine...
Kimm 03.26.11	Lol I fell off a bike coming home from my ex's once last summer. Tried to ride up onto the curb at a weird angle. I was running to catch the bus once and I had a whole bunch of bags in my hands. I dropped one and tripped over it wih like six cars full of people watching. I also missed the bus.
foreverendeared 03.26.11	I haven't ridden a bike at least 6 years, so I'm sure I'd embarrass myself if I got on one now.
taxidermist 03.26.11	It just happens. Some other time I was riding my brothers road bike (those bikes with the skinny wheels) and I hopped of the curb. I landed on a fucking crack in the street and got stuck there. I fell in slow motion and scraped my right elbow, lol.
Defeater 03.26.11	"I haven't ridden a bike at least 6 years, so I'm sure I'd embarrass myself if I got on one now." especially since you probably own a "garrison bike"
North0House2 03.26.11	I haven't ridden mine in a good 6 months myself... You know, once you get a car, as long as you can pay for gas, it's kinda pointless to ride a bike... Especially since I live on the outskirts of town.
North0House2 03.26.11	Lol, that sucks.
taxidermist 03.26.11	I saw Jeffree Star once at a show. I had no idea who he was at the time, but I watched as everyone stared. I thought maybe it was because he was tall and gay, lol.
North0House2 03.26.11	I'm pretty sure I"ll never go to a show where Jeffree Star will be present.
Defeater 03.26.11	did you kill him
foreverendeared 03.26.11	I remember one embarrassing story. I was probably 13 years old on a school bus going to some school trip I don't even remember where, but there were a few other buses following the one I was in. When we were at a stop, I stood up in the back to make faces at the kids behind us, but the bus I was in took off quickly and I planted my face right in the window mid silly-face and almost broke my nose. No one on the bus I was on saw what happened so I ducked behind some seats, afraid to see how the kids on the other bus were reacting. I can only imagine how hilarious it was from their perspective.
Kimm 03.26.11	Omgshh bus stories!!!!!!
taxidermist 03.26.11	Omg, I have a million bus stories, lol.
foreverendeared 03.26.11	It was the first time I had ever been on a school bus, too. and wtf is a "garrison bike!"
taxidermist 03.26.11	Lol, Garrison bike.
Kimm 03.26.11	Yeah same...SO many.
Defeater 03.26.11	"and wtf is a "garrison bike!"' type garrison bike and south park into youtube search bar
North0House2 03.26.11	I fell asleep on the bus to a school game once. Some douches jacked my phone and took a picture that looked like they were having sex and sent it to everyone on my contacts, including my dad haha.
foreverendeared 03.26.11	I wanna know!
Josh D. 03.26.11	Oh South Park being funny. I remember being 13.
Defeater 03.26.11	that's when I saw that episode you fucking cocksucker
foreverendeared 03.26.11	Ohhhhh, the mono wheel bike! haha I've seen one of those near where I live.
taxidermist 03.26.11	Yeah! You fucking fuck! :p
Defeater 03.26.11	lol foreverendeared still didn't get it
Josh D. 03.26.11	GOD DAMMIT
foreverendeared 03.26.11	whaaa? South Park is still funny. One of the only shows out there to get better and better each season.
Josh D. 03.26.11	YOU CAN'T BE A PART OF THIS, ANDCAS: http://moaropeth.tumblr.com/post/1031456395/get-high
Mordecai. 03.26.11	i saw andcas' mother on milfhunters.com now that that's out of the way, what the fuck is this list? oh you want an embarrassing story...
Deviant. 03.26.11	Andcas: the story would've been a lot better had you not known prior to "her" showing up that it was Jefree. That's neither embarrassing or awkward
foreverendeared 03.26.11	No, I get it. I remember that episode now.
Mordecai. 03.26.11	yeh andcas that was the worst story ever
Defeater 03.26.11	hey guys one time
NigelH 03.26.11	I was banging my girlfriend in my basement, when her brother walks in completely unannounced. He doesn't put 2 and 2 together somehow, and stands there having a conversation with us like everything is normal. Meanwhile, we're sitting naked under the covers and I have a raging hard-on. After about 10 minutes of this shit, I finally say to the naive bastard ( he was a virgin )...."Dude, don't you see what's going on here? We're under the covers....naked." Dude proceeds to flip a shit, and leaves the house literally screaming at the top of his lungs. Awkward as fuck....and to top it all off....he killed my boner.
NigelH 03.26.11	I was banging my girlfriend in my basement, when her brother walks in completely unannounced. He doesn't put 2 and 2 together somehow, and stands there having a conversation with us like everything is normal. Meanwhile, we're sitting naked under the covers and I have a raging hard-on. After about 10 minutes of this shit, I finally say to the naive bastard ( he was a virgin )...."Dude, don't you see what's going on here? We're under the covers....naked." Dude proceeds to flip a shit, and leaves the house literally screaming at the top of his lungs. Awkward as fuck....and to top it all off....he killed my boner.
Defeater 03.26.11	bullshit your brother gives you boners
NigelH 03.26.11	First she giveth, then he taketh away.
Defeater 03.26.11	you gay muslim
foreverendeared 03.26.11	Why the fuck is HER brother in YOUR basement? js
UnnamedOcean 03.26.11	@Nigel Something similar to that nearly happened to me. But the door was locked and so I had time to hide. Yeahhhhh
NigelH 03.26.11	@Foreverendeared Cause he was coming over to pick her up....but he showed up like two hours early. And, I have no door or lock in my basement...
defjaw83 03.26.11	When I was 15, we started playing cricket in school. I fucking hate cricket, the ball is like rock solid. I didn't want to bat (to avoid getting hit with the fucker), so I was just minding my own, hoping I would just get picked as a fielder. The teacher points me out, tells me I'm up first to bat. I'm standing there ready to try and hit this mufuka out of the park and instead I swung, edged it and smashed myself in the face with the ball. My nose was pissing blood and the whole class laughed at me. I was pretty shamed for weeks
defjaw83 03.26.11	"Why the fuck is HER brother in YOUR basement?" My thoughts precisely
taxidermist 03.26.11	So I was at this girls house. I whipped my dick out and let her blow me for a bit. As I was about to jizz, I yelled "RED ROBIN!" Jizz fell in her mouth and she moaned "Yum!" XD
North0House2 03.26.11	That's awkward?
iFghtffyrdmns 03.26.11	that's not even funny.
North0House2 03.26.11	I mean say something fun like," Blast off." or something...
defjaw83 03.26.11	"raindrops"
North0House2 03.26.11	"I'm lactating." wait.
taxidermist 03.26.11	Saw the commercial. Thought it up and posted it. My most immature post on Sputnik to date. I'm turning into you guys V_V
iFghtffyrdmns 03.27.11	^^that's a good thing to say to make friends here
taxidermist 03.27.11	You don't phaze me :p
defjaw83 03.27.11	"raindrops"
iFghtffyrdmns 03.27.11	*phase
taxidermist 03.27.11	Nope. Phaze. I'm ghetto dawg!
iFghtffyrdmns 03.27.11	*facepalm
iFghtffyrdmns 03.27.11	or maybe I should say *phazepalm
taxidermist 03.27.11	Lol. *Phase. Just for you :3
Srangerthanficti0n 03.27.11	one time on the bus going home one of our friends spoted a car behind that was a guy taking his diving test (was in a car with driving test logos all over it) so he decided to pul his dick out and wave it at the guy takeing his test and then press it against the back window and blow kisses at him, there was alot of stareing form the instuctor and the guy lol
iFghtffyrdmns 03.27.11	the fuck...?
defjaw83 03.27.11	He should've tweaked his nipples at the same time
Srangerthanficti0n 03.27.11	"the fuck...?" that was our thoughts exactly... lol
Samshine 03.27.11	Second day of highschool between classes I was walking up the main staircase in the foyer of the school. The guy behind me was dodging people and I could tell he was in a hurry so i picked up my pace so he could get around me... I then proceeded to trip on the stair and instinctively put my hands out to catch myself.. ended up accidentally grabbing the girl that was walking infront of me's ass. Cool life.
iFghtffyrdmns 03.27.11	I'll be the first to say it: "that's hot"
defjaw83 03.27.11	that's one way to cop a cheeky feel
iFghtffyrdmns 03.27.11	ooo Cheeky. awesome band
North0House2 03.27.11	"in the foyer of the school." School's have foyers?
Samshine 03.27.11	They do in Van
defjaw83 03.27.11	Mine did. One of the teachers called it the vestibule...she was a cunt
Kimm 03.27.11	"I'll be the first to say it: "that's hot"" lol. Also laughed REALLY hard at Stokes' story.
Samshine 03.27.11	Relating to Stoke's story: I once watched some girl get wedgied so hard they picked her up off the ground by her thong... I don't know why I didn't do anything about it. I'm a terrible person.
Kimm 03.27.11	I can't stand it when girls sit down and their thong is sticking out. If you ask me, the girl probably deserved it. =p
Emim 03.27.11	First day in at work (a place where my brother worked and had vouched considerably for me) I was walking in with a large coffee holding it downward so that it was perpendicular with the floor, when I walked into a low cart and spilled that shit ALL the hell over their brand new carpet. The stain was there until the place shut down.
North0House2 03.27.11	I got a jock strap shoved in my face once, I don't know how that happened. Oh yeah, I was sleeping. I really need to learn not to sleep on class trips.
taxidermist 03.27.11	@Stokes Lol! Damn, I can picture that shit happening! Too funny.
TMobotron 03.27.11	think ive posted this somewhere here before but anyways: playing halo with some people and one of my brothers friend is on my team. this was back when your mom jokes were cool (or at least as cool as they ever would be). he asked "does this thing have some sort of timer on it or anything"? Referring to the game like does it end after 10 min or anything like that. Just sort of randomly without thinking i say "your mom has a timer". He says "My mom is dead dude." (she died about 2 weeks before) "do you have any idea how hard that is?". And I was just an awkward 12-ish year old and he was 4 years older so i just didn't say anything back because i was scared and awkward as fuck. in retrospect i wish i wouldve said something like "looks like her time ran out" but damn
defjaw83 03.27.11	I fell over on a stage in front of the whole school. I won some kind of award for a spanish exam and had to collect a certificate in full school assembly. I kicked the floor as i took my initial step onto the stage and just crashed to the deck
taxidermist 03.27.11	I froze in front of my 6th grade class while giving my speech...I never got to finish that speech. Also in retrospect, I wish I would've said something like "Fuck this promotion. Over half of us won't graduate high school/graduate on time, a lot of these girls will become sluts and have babies, and a lot of these people will get into drugs."
darlingfemmefatal 03.27.11	I was dancing with some guy at a club once and he ended up lifting my skirt up over my hips... showed the whole entire dance floor my pale white ass (was wearing a g-string).... pretty much sucked. First time aunt flo visited me I was in 7-Eleven with a friend of mine and I ended up getting lil red droplets all over the floor... nooot good!
Samshine 03.27.11	^ lol
Defeater 03.27.11	what the fuck
Satellite 03.27.11	when i was 13 i briefly appeared on national tv (the discovery channel) with a bowlcut
darlingfemmefatal 03.27.11	i remember bowl cuts... i also remember rat tails... those things are HIDEOUS!
Defeater 03.27.11	sup lloyd
Satellite 03.27.11	haha
Defeater 03.27.11	lmfao
TheEnigma 03.27.11	I was going to say this must be the new "cool" thread, but I guess it's been around since before mine was posted/deleted. Sup.
Edwin 03.27.11	Nothing wrong with a bowl cut. Spewed on my mate's kitchen wall a few weeks back.
DeafMetal 03.27.11	Bowl cuts yeah.
FromDaHood 03.28.11	First time I got drunk everybody left the room to say goodbye to the bitches and, in my altered state of mind, I began masturbating. Two minutes later every single guy walked back into the room and saw me. That was weird but I didn't give a fuck.
Trebor. 03.28.11	Sounds like my Friday night Gotta get down on Friday
FromDaHood 03.28.11	We we we so excited We so excited