BigHans
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Eating Through College

Chances are, unless you live in the dorms and have a meal plan (aka eating food that is about a half a level up from the disgusting slop served by some bitter, disheveled old bag at your High School Cafeteria), you live off a steady diet of Taco Bell, Pizza Delivery, and McDonalds through your college days. Most of you probably don't know how to turn an oven on, but since I care, and since I'm awesome, I have devised 10 items I have mastered that even a moron can make (aka, you). You can eat better, and this should fit any college budget. You're welcome.
1The National
High Violet

Awesome food item #1: Chili. Now, to do this right, it's going to cost about $20-$25, but you can eat off this for almost a week. I am a master at making chili, so here is what you do. Brown 3 pounds of 80/20 ground beef and a pound of ground hot Italian Sausage. Cut up a couple onions and green peppers, and sautee them with the meat and season with chili powder, black pepper, Cumin, Kosher Salt, and Garlic Salt (some people will say this is unsafe and would sautee the veggies separate from the meat, but I call them pussies). Drain. In another massive pot or two, throw in a bunch of cans of Whole Tomatos (don't use Tomato sauce or paste), Dark Red Kidney Beans, and Hot Chili Beans. Break up the tomatos to release their juices. Add the Meat/Veggies. Add a shitload of seasoning, you can do alot of things here, but the main ones you need are Chili Powder, Cumin, Kosher Salt, Black Pepper, and Garlic/Onion Powder/Salt. Do not use Jalepenos unless you want the chili to taste only like Jalepenos. For the heat, use ground Cayenne Pepper. Its flavor is way better than Jalepenos. Simmer for like an hour and a half on Medium heat. And for the secret ingredient, add a can of beer, preferably not a light beer, but thats probably all you have in your fridge. Experience Genius.
2Big Boi
Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty

Crock Pot Chicken/Roast. You can also do this in the oven but its much better in the crock pot. Basically all you have to do is buy a cut up whole chicken or a Chuck Roast or whatever, and throw that shit in the crock pot for most of the day. For Chicken, add a can of either Cream of Mushroom/Chicken/Celery Soup and some water and some seasoning. For The Roast, add a can of beef stock and onion soup mix and seasonings. Also, buy some potatos, because when you pull that shit out of the crockpot, all of those juices at the bottom are called one thing: GRAVY. In case you're an idiot, all you have to do to make gravy is add some of the drippings to a pan over medium heat, and add either cornstarch or flour, some water, and cream/milk if you want. Whisk it right away, and fast until it thickens. This shouldnt cost more than 10 bucks and you should get 2-3 meals out of it.
3Volbeat
Beyond Hell/Above Heaven

Making Mac & Cheese better. There's alot of ways to do this. Preferrably, use elbow macaroni, add milk and butter, and some combination of velveeta/real cheddar cheese. If you want to go really cheap, buy the premium style Kraft Mac n Cheese, and add Cream Cheese to it. Yes, Cream Cheese, trust me, it fucking rules. Or, you could mix the cheese packet with cream of mushroom soup, Worchestire sauce, and some seasoning, and add the noodles. Oh, and you can add a shitload of any cheese to any of this, or some hot dogs/sausge etc. Make it better. This will cost virtually nothing. Addition: This sounds off the wall, but you can also add a can of Bush's original flavor baked beans to the finished Mac N Cheese product. It essentially doubles the portion and its surprisingly delicious. Has to be Bush's though.
4Kanye West
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Midwestern Specality: Hotdish/Casseroles. To make these you need either a roasting pan or a glass pan. Traditional Midwestern Hotdish is basically ground beef, a can of Campbells Tomato Soup, Spaghetti Noodles, Cheese, and Corn. Combine and bake at 350 for like an hour. For a better twist, you can make Tater Tot Hotdish by simply combining ground beef, cream of mushroom soup, a can of green beans, and some fried haystack onions. Season. Bake. Simple. Neither one of these should cost more than 10 bucks to make and you should get at least 4-5 meals out of it.
5Deftones
Diamond Eyes

Making Frozen Pizza Better: This is really fucking simple: Always have shredded mozarella cheese and canned veggies around. Buy a cheap ass frozen pizza. Throw some Red Pepper Flakes, Garlic Salt, and Italian Seasoning on it. Then add a shitload of extra Mozz cheese. Or you could add a can of mushrooms, an onion, a green pepper, what the fuck ever. Lets face it, Frozen Pizzas pretty much suck, but you can make them awesome by keeping a few basic ingridents around, and it won't cost much extra.
6Cee Lo Green
The Lady Killer

Frozen Fish: You can get Frozen Fish fillets at the grocery store for like 2 bucks. Granted, its going to be cheap shit like Cod or Talipia, but you're on a budget. Before you put them in the oven, fucking douse them in butter seasoning. An example of a great one is lemon pepper, salt, dill, and pepper. Another great way is to throw some cajun seasoning on there. Also, make sure you have plenty of lemons. Bake. Melt some more butter. Squeeze Lemon on. Dip in melted butter. Nod at how fucking smart you are.
7The Ghost Inside
Returners

Noodles and Butter. Ok, this is for when you are really fucking broke. Cook some linguini or spaghetti noodles. In a pan, melt some butter. Add noodles. Add Lawrys and whatever else you want. To make it better, add parm cheese or some type of garlic italian seasoning blend. Add tomatos and green onions or leftover meat. This shouldnt cost more than a 2 bucks for at least 2 meals.
8Foals
Total Life Forever

Foreman Grill Uses: More of a do not than a do. Whatever you do, never, fucking ever, fucking EVER, cook beef on a foreman grill, and I know you all have one. Foreman grills are designed to eliminate fat, meaning it drains most of the juices from your meat, which is fine for chicken or fish but is a fucking travesty for hamburgers or steak. If you ever wanted to know what shit tastes like, eat beef with all of the essential juices drained out, aka, use a Foreman grill. If you don't have a real grill, use a fucking skillet and do it on the stove.
9The Hold Steady
Heaven is Whenever

Vegetable Soup. This should cost about 15 bucks to do right and you can eat for at least 4-5 days. Its pretty damn simple. Chop up fresh carrots, celery, zucchini, onion, potatoes, Cilantro, add corn, a can of diced tomatos, a can of Rotel, Chicken Stock, fresh minced garlic, and season with salt, pepper, lawrys, garlic salt, paprika. Add a little bit of water. Cook for an hour and a half. If you want to give it a Tortilla type edge, add cumin and chili powder, add spiced chicken, and top with Mozzarella cheese and fresh Avocado.
10Alcest
Ecailles De Lune

For a treat: Tortellini and Prosciutto. This one will be slightly more expensive, and you should save this for an occasion when you are trying to impress a woman. Buy some frozen cheese/spinach filled Tortelini. Buy a can or two of the best canned Alfredo sauce they have in the store. In a skillet, melt some butter, and add chopped Roma Tomatos, Green Onions, Mushrooms, and Prosciutto (the most expensive part, but holy fuck its good). Add a little salt/pepper. Add fresh minced Garlic. Add the Alfredo. Then, cook the tortellini (this won't take long). Add the Alfredo. Sautee it all together. Add grated Parmesain/Romano, I mean cake that shit. Once it forms a bit of a crust, its ready. If you really want to go all out, get a cheap bottle of white wine that actually tastes good (like Yellowtail), and make a caesar salad and some garlic bread. She'll think you're a genius.
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