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User
Reviews 7
Approval 95%
Album Ratings 93
Objectivity 78%
Last Active 09-17-12 2:47 pm
Joined 05-16-10
Review Comments 293
| Why Music Sucks
I put my music library on shuffle, and argued why the first 10 songs suck. *****NOTE***** This list in no way reflect my actual thoughts on these songs. The intent was to look at 10 random songs negatively, regardless of my personal opinions of them. | | 1 | Jedi Mind Tricks
Words from Mr. Len, Pt. 1
What the hell kind of gimmick is putting a quasi-humorous 59 second phone call behind a silly fade-in, fade-out orchestrated rock ballad? This is music, not ****ing Crank Yankers. | | 2 | The Offspring
Self Esteem
Offspring? Well, Mr. Vocalist, your nasal, melodramatic lyrics will SURELY assure yourself of never having offspring. I'm glad you can play four power chords and get on the radio, Mr. "Cobain". | | 3 | Circle Takes the Square
Interview at the Ruins
WOW! Alternating ambience and a droning light rock with an aggressive screaming chorus! How ****ing innovative. You're not the Edgar Allen Poe of music, so stop trying to be so pretentiously poetic. | | 4 | Iron Maiden
The Evil That Men Do
Iron MAIDEN seems to be a fitting band name, both because you evidently have no balls, and you should die a tortuous death. Your "bum badabum bum badabum" rhythms aren't fooling anyone, get creative. Oh, sorry, I forgot, you were trying to be "metal". | | 5 | Hypocrisy
Living to Die
If life is really that bad, then leave it and our eardrums without you. The entire song is aesthetically the same throughout - oh, except the brilliant fade-in and fade-out. My bad. | | 6 | Vintersorg
Algol
I know you think you sound beautifully dark, but you sound like ****ing Count Chocula drowning in skim milk, at the mercy of a four-year old's spoon. Stick with your native language, and maybe try putting more than 3 musical ideas into an overblown 6 minute song. | | 7 | As Cities Burn
This Is It, This Is It
Breaking News: The guitarist of As Cities Burn can mute ALL SIX strings and repetitively strum them. The melodramatic vocals and trying-too-hard guitar lines don't help your generic case. And no, riding the crash cymbal with compressed vocals doesn't automatically make a section hXc. | | 8 | Tech N9ne
The Rain
Tech N9ne, if you want to be a "musician", grow some balls and realize it takes up your life. Major chords on an organ don't make the lyrics intelligently ironic, just cheesy. Also, a little kid rapping for you along with female vocal backup doesn't make you deep or innovative. | | 9 | The Cure
Cut Here
A cheesy song with histrionic vocals by the Cure? Get out of here! The song never ACTUALLY builds, it just has superfluous layering in an hopeless attempt to sound deep and emotional. Cry me a river. Just make sure your make-up doesn't run. | | 10 | Eyedea and Abilities
Get Along
58 seconds of unnecessary, ego-boosting jazz synthesizer with a cheesy drum machine beat, with a short spoken word sample over it all. I know, it's hard to pull the wool over the public's eyes, but try a little harder next time when you're trying to slide in filler. | |
TheSpirit
05.30.10 | lol nice spin | PuddlesPuddles
05.30.10 | self-esteem is a badass offspring song | PearlDrummer20
05.30.10 | Self Esteem is awesome. Offspring's new stuff isn't that great, but Smash was a great album. | Mclovin
05.30.10 | MJ, I didn't see your review for CTTS, was it on an alternate account? | Knott-
05.30.10 | haha this is a fucking brilliant idea | LepreCon
05.30.10 | Honestly can't say I agree with 4 or 9 but funny list nonetheless | Mclovin
05.30.10 | "To disagree with the argument outlined above is the same as to disagree that the sum of the interior angles of a triangle is 180 degrees." I lol'd at the whole review, really damn hard. Good work. | Mclovin
05.30.10 | LeperCon: I don't agree with several of these. It was purely an exercise in pessimism. :) | scissorlocked
05.30.10 | the evil that mclovin do lives on and on | Mclovin
05.30.10 | No, out of these, Circle Takes the Square, The Cure, and As Cities Burn are the ones that were easy for me to write. XD | LepreCon
05.30.10 | Ah, right. Still funny though | Baphomet
05.30.10 | Dude, hate to break ot down to you, but except for CTTS it's your taste that sucks. | Prolapse
05.30.10 | MJ, please tell me that stevekerr account wasn't yours | Mclovin
05.30.10 | MichaelJordan: The Jane Doe one was an interesting read, and brought up some really mind-twisting ideas. I liked it.
Baphomet: This list doesn't reflect my tastes in any way; Iron Maiden and Vintersorg, for example, are two of my favorite bands. | Baphomet
05.30.10 | ah ok then.
Just out of curiosity, why would you have bands you don't like in your iPod? | Mclovin
05.30.10 | Well, my Zune is only 4gb, so I put what I like on there, and the rest of the random crap that I come across lies dormant on my hard drive. :) The shuffle came from my computer. | EBTCardMania
05.30.10 | "Tolerance and apathy are the last virtues of a dying society" - Aristotle | EBTCardMania
05.30.10 | "Tolerance and apathy are the last virtues of a dying society" - Aristotle | Gyromania
05.30.10 | Curious as to what your perspective of innovative music is, after bashing a band as creative and unique as CTTS. | Mclovin
05.30.10 | Although I do find CTTS's innovation to be forced and unnecessary at times, I repeat, this list was written in an effort to look at 10 random songs in a distinctly negative light. | ninjuice
05.30.10 | stop plugging your terrible CTTS review holy crap
anyways good list | EBTCardMania
05.30.10 | ctts sucks | Prolapse
05.30.10 | what's with all the ctts hate? | WatchItExplode
05.30.10 | distinctly underwhelming...just like mj's return to the NBA to play for the Wizards... | dylantheairplane
05.30.10 | wtf man, 9 is awesome | WatchItExplode
05.30.10 | late career fade-away jumper = current shameless self-promotion | LegendofPittman
05.30.10 | People need to read the beginning instead of jumping to conclusions. I thought this was a great idea. |
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