Manly Albums
Maybe not the absolute manliest albums of all time, but you won't find skinny tattooed scene boys screaming about their feelings on these testosterone-charged, baby eating, wife beating records.
Mostly because I'm bored. |
| 1 |  | Metallica
Master of Puppets
Definitely a manly album, maybe not the manliest but I just like putting this record on as many of my lists as possible. Hey it's got songs about war, killing and a mythical monster, that's manly, eh? Just try listening to this album while driving and resist the urge to run over a few dogs |
| 2 |  | Pantera
Cowboys From Hell
Seriously, I don't think I've ever heard an angry band that actually sound more convincingly pissed-off than these guys, even today their classic records make every metalcore band sound like pussies |
| 3 |  | Slayer
Reign in Blood
Fuck yeah this is a pissed-off album too |
| 4 |  | Accept
Balls To The Wall
No homo, this album epitomises German masculinity |
| 5 |  | Manowar
Kings of Metal
No homo, this album epitomises American masculinity |
| 6 |  | Sepultura
Arise
I've yet to hear a more manly Brazilian band. I've yet to hear another Brazilian band fullstop. |
| 7 |  | Van Halen
Van Halen
David Lee Roth is a manly, manly manly man |
| 8 |  | Tarot
Crows Fly Black
The only power metal band besides Manowar that constitute as manly, mostly because they have none other than Marco Hietala |
| 9 |  | Cryptopsy
None So Vile
I don't understand a word this guy is saying but the sheer brutality of this record just radiates testosterone. Unlike their pussy new deathcore album. |
| 10 |  | Carcass
Heartwork
Some call this the album that Carcass "pussied out" with. Those that say this have small penises |
| 11 |  | Rammstein
Herzeleid
Sweaty topless Aryans in front of a pretty flower. The female part of the flower. The flower's VAGINA. Fucking manly. WOLLT IHR DAS BETT INS FLAMMEN SEHEN? |
| 12 |  | Judas Priest
Screaming For Vengeance
Who cares that Rob Halford is gay, he made metal fashion more masculine than anyone else ever did. |
| 13 |  | AC/DC
Highway to Hell
Drink 'n' drugs.
Sleaze 'n' sex.
'Nuff said. |
| 14 |  | Thin Lizzy
Live and Dangerous
Phil Lynott was black. He was Irish. He had an afro five-times the size of his head. Does this need explaining? |
| 15 |  | Iron Maiden
Piece of Mind
Because Iron Maiden are manly, pure and simple |
| 16 |  | Dio
Holy Diver
Because Ronnie James Dio is the most metal man on the face of the planet, hope he gets well soon |
| 17 |  | Amon Amarth
The Crusher
Johan fucking Hegg, ladies and gentleman |
| 18 |  | Anthrax
Among The Living
Caught in a Mosh would be Chuck Norris' theme song is he wasn't too manly for this list |
| 19 |  | Exodus
Pleasures of the Flesh
Even without Steve Souza's kickass hissing vocals this would still have made the list |
| 20 |  | The Doors
Strange Days
Because Jim Morrison was the ultimate male rockstar of the 60's |
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