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Last Active 12-27-22 12:13 am
Joined 09-12-10
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| Eurovision 2026 Preview
Shalom my friends. It's time to take your star-shaped glasses out of the drawer once again for Europe's most ridiculous and fascinating entertainment export. This annual collision of turbo-camp pop music and geopolitics is around the corner and your resident Anglo-French Eurotrash-connoisseur is here to give you a preview. ///
Vienna hosts what may have been the most controversial edition in Eurovision history even before any of this edition's songs were revealed. Bubbling over into the biggest mass-withdrawal in its history after the already-fraught events of 2024 and 2025, heavyweights Ireland, Spain and Netherlands, as well as Iceland and Slovenia, have boycotted the competition around the actions of both in and outside the competition. This is amidst existing questions about the EBU's unchecked overreach and sovereignty (and their selective definition of the word "political"), with televoting still a controversial and obfuscated domain that appears open to exploitation after Israel topped the public vote two years running. Russia & Belarus remain banned. ///
Another thing is for sure: there are plenty of great entries this year. Electronic, rock and rap influences have existed a while in Eurovision, but never before have their tentacles been so widespread and well-produced, with many different songs blending one or more with national folk influences into neatly rounded and catchy packages. Many participating broadcasters have elevated their game significantly regarding staging too. The average entry this year is night and day compared to the average even ten years ago. ///
This competition is principally a spectacle of television and singing, with make-or-break ultimately coming down to how staging and performance, narrative and politics, certain whims on the parts of certain juries, and the magic of the televote come together on the night. ///
Nevertheless, here is a rundown of my favourites and others to look out for (in no particular order). L'chaim! | | 1 |  | Rick Ross
Mastermind
Greece, Akylas - Ferto
It says a lot that I couldn't name you a single Greek entry prior to this year. Rather than a generic folk-inspired girl-bop/ballad (which is how I'd usually imagine a Greek entry), this year's song grabs you immediately with a pounding hip house/techno beat punching stray kittens from the start. The staging is classic Eurovision nonsense. Once the lyra comes in it's all over. This is destined to be Greece's best result in years.
Banging beat?: yes af
Folk-y instrument solo?: solos hard af
Epic vocals?: Greek party rap with some flourishes
Personality?: strolling into Vienna with Garfield costumes and feta ingots
Prediction: top 5
National Final performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_tDJ77ntPE | | 2 |  | Lordi
The Arockalypse
Finland, Linda Lampenius & Pete Parkkonen - Liekinheitin
The bookie's favourite. Watching the national final performance I understood why. This performance is at once grand, catchy and driving, held together by the epic duality of the vocal performance and an ever-present violin, which would be Euro-cheat code even disregarding the fact Finland has been granted the unusual permission to play it live at the grand final.
For sure, the hype around Finland benefits from the fact we already have an example of the entry's on-stage gravitas, but this may well mark Finland's first victory since Lordi in 2006, and a consolation for the robbery of 2023.
Banging beat?: production worthy of Sweden, drama worthy of Italy
Folk-y instrument solo?: a neoclassical tour de force - almost cheating
Epic vocals?: you betcha, and just wait til the end
Personality?: spectacular and imperious
Prediction: 1st
National Final performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GS91CAAddZA | | 3 |  | Dubioza Kolektiv
Apsurdistan
Moldova, Satoshi - Viva Moldova!
Every year I am floored by Europe's poorest country nailing the Eurovision script with their always zany and fun entries. This year is no different. This patriotic folk rap-rock entry is hella catchy even before the flute (which is basically a mouth-violin) carries you on a one-way party-cloud to Chisinau. Did feel a bit off in rehearsal compared to the rocking NF performance though.
Banging beat?: bouncy enough
Folk-y instrument solo?: it's Moldova, they practically invented it
Epic vocals?: serviceable rap verses, surprisingly hearty chorus
Personality?: Charming Moldova as always
Prediction: top 10 easily
NF performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JEmuzqob8c | | 4 |  | Blur
Modern Life Is Rubbish
United Kingdom, LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER - Eins Zwei Drei
If you had told me 2 months ago that one of my favourite entries this year would be UK's I would have told you to pass me the ketamine tray. More than any other UK entry in my lifetime, LMNC understands what makes Eurovision tick and has used his creativity to engineer a retro-tinged blend of hip hop, electronic and Britpop into one sardonic, self-aware and surprisingly poignant Euro-banger.
This probably won't win, but if it gets another dreaded nul points (as some dullards are still predicting) I will lather my nipples in marmite and walk into the nearest Brighton nightclub. It is both the most British and the most Euro song the UK has ever released.
Banging beat?: Yes
Folk-y instrument solo?: Does a synth made of cereal boxes count?
Epic vocals?: sup mate
Personality?: buckets of it mate
Prediction: not as confident as I have been but hopeful for a top 15
Music Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niMKvJ-Itq8 | | 5 |  | Nightwish
Dark Passion Play
Romania, Alexandra Capitanescu - Choke Me
Romania aren’t the only entry this year bolstered by the recent success of edgy rock-inspired participants but they are the pick of the bunch.
Choke Me is a pretty standard arena-rock bop on paper and earbuds, but it is Alexandra's grungey and soaring vocal performance in an especially catchy chorus that elevates this above your typical Euro butt-rock fare, and even more so on the stage. After seeing the glow up and her stage presence in rehearsals, my hype for Romania is at peak levels, especially if she can hit all these notes.
Banging beat?: euro post-grunge
Folk-y instrument solo?: are strats Romanian?
Epic vocals?: this girl has chops for sure
Personality?: opera lathered in leather and cigarette smoke
Prediction: initially considering this too "unadulterated rock" to make waves, this is now my dark horse for the televote at least
NF performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrSl0sTX5W4 | | 6 |  | Daft Punk
Discovery
Montenegro, Tamara Zivkovic - Nova Zora
Clearly among the techno-inspired wing of entries this year, Nova Zora blends pumping dancefloor energy with yet another big and dramatic vocal performance, though unfortunately for Tamara it falls in the large shadow of entries like Greece and Finland. Still, a very good song, very Eurovision, and the apparent likelihood of a NQ to the final would be a shame. Semi Final 1 is fucking stacked though.
Banging beat?: tight and ominous techno-lite
Folk-y instrument solo?: doesn't need it
Epic vocals?: absolutely, filtered through electronic glitchery
Personality?: operatic dancefloor banger
Prediction: grand final hopefully
NF performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59hsYOMCQGY | | 7 |  | Dead Can Dance
Dead Can Dance
Croatia, LELEK - Andromeda
Don't ask me why all of Europe's caps lock buttons broke this year. Anyway, there's always one country a year that sends a matriarchal pagan seance rather than a pop song, and I'm always here for it, but I've heard better.
Banging beat?: grandiose and floating
Folk-y instrument solo?: no
Epic vocals?: the main attraction, but others do better with more inventive production
Personality?: burning man meets stonehenge
Prediction: top 15
NF performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMCR-8gmgso | | 8 |  | Dead Can Dance
Within the Realm of a Dying Sun
Ukraine, Leleka - Ridnym
Ukraine has always had a knack for tapping into the core of Europop magic, even before the war that garnered them widespread European support, overall victory in 2016 and 2022, and the ejection of Russia and Belarus from the competition. This year is no different, with driving electronic elements used tastefully in a climactic and structurally progressive song built around one of the most technically-proficient voices this year. Expect Ukraine to do well once again.
Banging beat?: slow and melancholic but crescendos nicely
Folk-y instrument solo?: not this time
Epic vocals?: very. let's see how it goes on the night
Personality?: touching
Prediction: top 15
Music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoEXezpblAc | | 9 |  | Gotye
Making Mirrors
Denmark, Soren Torpegaard Lund - Før vi går hjem
Another fan-favourite. Soren's vocals tie the thread between melancholy verses and sinister, energetic electronic choruses, with classic but surprisingly tasteful key changes to boot, all in one well-produced art-pop package. This isn't among my personal favourites but it's clear to see why it could vibe with both the juries and the public, and why it's being predicted a decent chance of victory. It’s ambitious, a bit experimental, very Eurovision, and for the most part sticks the landing.
Banging beat?: interesting and varied production that complements the vocals
Folk-y instrument solo?: too serious
Epic vocals?: expressive, bold, touching all at the same time. live performance really elevates this one too
Personality?: a well constructed blend of big Euro and emotional indie pop
Prediction: top 5
NF performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKzEP9dwoss | | 10 |  | My Dying Bride
A Line of Deathless Kings
Serbia, Lavina - Kraj Mene
Another entry riding the rock wave. Prog metallers Lavina are far from the most out-of-pocket artist in the competition's history and doom/prog metal track is serviceable, but the pyro-heavy rehearsal did raise my expectations that this could do decently.
Banging beat?: washed out ibanez
Folk-y instrument solo?: yes a Eurovision metal breakdown
Epic vocals?: whispered Marilyn Manson-lite
Personality?: the goths at the drag race
Prediction: always hard to predict with Serbia but top 15
Music Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJTLKBOOE98 | | 11 |  | Edith Piaf
Recital Nº 1
France, Monroe - REGARDE!
As one of the favourites, I feel obliged to talk about my mother country's entry. After years of stubborn mediocrity, Barbara Pravi nearly won the whole competition with her simple but captivating blend of French chanson and grandiose pop. Ever since, France has tried to recreate that same energy, with consistently decent but inferior results that tend to resonate a lot more with the juries than the public.
As a song, this still doesn't hit the same level as "Voila!" for me, but even more than most entries this is one that will depend much on the ultimate live rendition. Judging by the rehearsal, this could be France’s first win in 49 years honestly. I just can’t respect such blatant jury-bait.
Banging beat?: no
Folk-y instrument solo?: no
Epic vocals?: Basically opera; the most technically impressive this year
Personality?: 12p svp
Prediction: this will likely be jury’s #1, but overall I'm not sure
Music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujoCYrvvTYQ | | 12 |  | ABBA
Voyage
Sweden, FELICIA - My System
For a while Sweden were around the top 5 in the bookies and (more than most years) I didn’t really get it, but that’s rather cooled a bit, as have I. This is yet another tightly produced electronic-pop song with a dancefloor ready chorus, but the vocal refrains on the studio version are autotuned and annoying and the production is serviceable but generic. Live staging and lighting does contribute a lot to the energy of this song, but I reckon Europe’s resident tryhards can do better.
Banging beat?: techno chorus is ok
Folk-y instrument solo?: Sweden is above that honestly
Epic vocals?: decent live but more Britney Spears than Pavarotti
Personality?: Overproduced Eurovision-bait
Prediction: top 10 at best
NF performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7AB53ZNXpQ | | 13 |  | Kimbra
The Golden Echo
Lithuania, Lion Ceccah - Solo Quiero Mas
I passed over this one several times before it came back around in my playlist and had me near belting its chorus. Nothing about this is particularly special or extravagant, which may be its downfall, but it may be the catchiest song (without being annoying) this year. Hoping it doesn't get screwed in the semi finals, as has been often predicted throughout the last few weeks. I do prefer the old version to the eurovision one a lot more as well and hope the end result isn't too drastic.
Banging beat?: driving but restrained techno
Folk-y instrument solo?: Light violin use for theatrical weight, but not really
Epic vocals?: Don't think this song is in Lithuanian but hell yeah I wanna sing it
Personality?: Dancefloor eulogy
Prediction: top 15 I hope, but easily in my top 5
NF performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWwMMMVkwRU | | 14 |  | Alanis Morissette
Jagged Little Pill
Switzerland, Veronica Fusaro - Alice
Another song that grew on me somewhat. This is more in the vein of carefully constructed indie/rock rather than Eurovision-fare, and especially in the verses has the kind of subtlety that lends itself more to success after the competition than during it. The chorus is big and catchy, but is also the kind of thing I'd expect to hear in a commercial selling me discounts on homeware and furniture. I appreciate that it is doing its own thing though.
Banging beat?: subtle indie contrasts with the mainstream approach this year
Folk-y instrument solo?: yes a Eurovision guitar solo
Epic vocals?: Catchy enough, nothing special
Personality?: got lost on the way to Rough Trade
Prediction: is worthy of a finals spot at least
Music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfpYGAzW5dM | | 15 |  | Rebecca Black
Non Album Singles
Germany, Sarah Engels - Fire
Sorry Germany - you aren't Sweden. Germany, as UK, have often struggled to nail that Euro magic, and like UK have suffered from their automatic berth through the semis leading them towards regular humiliation in the grand final. This one is unlikely to do any better. Dull Katy Perry D-side with the most grating chorus this year. Please fire-fire your ghostwriter. Couldn’t believe this actually won a national selection.
Banging beat?: banging the sides of a trashcan
Folk-y instrument solo?: wat is dis?
Epic vocals?: please get this shit out of my ears
Personality?: none
Prediction: a shocking nul points in the final
NF performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv0N_jCx-nA | | 16 |  | Daft Punk
Random Access Memories
San Marino, SENHIT - Superstar ft Boy George
Not far above Germany. The verses here actually aren’t bad with their groovy 80s/Daft Punk energy, but the chorus is so trite and boring. Hiring Boy George (lol btw) did make me realise how much better Senhit’s vocals are though, and I hope this qualifies to the final just so I can see him dawdle up on stage in the final and deliver his two lines like he’s ordering a sausage roll at 7 in the morning.
Banging beat?: generic dance pop
Folk-y instrument solo?: no
Epic vocals?: Senhit has a good voice and energy but it’s not gonna be enough
Personality?: euroshlock
Prediction: out in SF
NF performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOQe-fQSFxg | | 17 |  | Celine Dion
Falling into You
Poland, ALICJA - Pray
Another country that has perpetually underperformed at Eurovision, but without the benefit of an automatic place in the final. Also another entry whose estimations have risen since rehearsals. Studio-wise this pop rap entry is ok but nothing special at all. The elements feel a bit chucked together and ALICJA's strong vocals can't save it as she flits between gospel, Euro dancepop and Lil Wayne-esque choruses. Rehearsals have shown some changes to vocal delivery and an interesting staging that could set it apart from other nations.
Banging beat?: meh
Folk-y instrument solo?: no
Epic vocals?: strong when they're not filtered through autotune
Personality?: schizophrenic but boring somehow
Prediction: grand final now that I’ve seen rehearsals, but probably not much higher
Music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q78cnYIoF9Y | |
anarchistfish
05.12.26 | Can't break that intro up unfortunately. Wrote the bulk of this while bored a month ago. Thought about publishing as a separate blog but didn't leave myself enough time to set things up, decide direction and edit etc and I basically wrote it as a shitpost in the first place. I do find this competition fun, cringe and fascinating all at the same time tho.
Semi Final 1 is tonight (and stacked imo)
SF2 on Thursday evening.
Grand Final Saturday night
Australia with Delta Goodrem and Italy are also among the popular entries
| arthropod
05.12.26 | Who tf is ALICJA
Man, we're so cooked in this contest. The one time it raised my interest in recent years was when Justyna Steczkowska participated last year, and that was a misfire too. She's an excellent performer and made one hell of a visual show, but the song itself was utterly "whatever". |
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