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Last Active 12-19-18 7:20 pm
Joined 06-11-12
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| Madonna Ranked
Two years ago i picked up Ray of Light and it started a slow descent into her entire discography. Some of these blurbs could be reviews i guess - I plan on giving the top 4 proper ones. I own True Blue -> Hard Candy on CD. Don't think I have any reason to reach outside of that | | 1 |  | Madonna
Rebel Heart
14/14
By the 10's, Madonna had fallen in line in terms of sound and Rebel Heart feels like the least rebellious thing Madonna's ever done. In terms of promotion and rollout the one high point is the celebratory Bitch I'm Madonna, a self-love letter and well deserved victory lap of a song because god damn it, she has been Madonna since 1982 and she deserves a video with cameos from Chris Rock To Kanye to Katy Perry to Alexander Wang.
Unfortunately the album sounds like any other from 2015. MDNA had this problem too - bland, unoffensive music with little to really dig into other than a couple real good hooks (Ghosttown, Joan of Arc). MDNA bumped a little harder though, which is why this is flat at the bottom of the list.
Check: Ghosttown, Bitch I'm Madonna
2/5 | | 2 |  | Madonna
MDNA
13/14
See: Above.
The upside is this is front loaded with some good to great club-type tunes, and Give Me All Ur Luvin is proto-Bitch I'm Madonna in a good way. I don't like M.I.A. at this point either but i'm surprised Madonna didn't appreciate a little superbowl controversy. It does get same-y, which might be why I favor the early tracks. I just know it's more exciting than Rebel Heart, if just a bit.
Check: Give Me All Ur Luvin, Gang Bang, I'm Addicted
2.5/5 | | 3 |  | Madonna
American Life
12/14
Electrofolk. What? Music and American Life make up Madonna's take on the unwieldy portmanteau of 'indietronica', and while the more enjoyable experiments show up on Music, the more...experimental attempts end up here and if they don't fall flat, they scorpion on to the pavement with reckless abandon. There are highlights - Madonna's voice turning straight into a buzz-saw note on I'm So Stupid definitely set me up to think this would me a much rowdier record than it ended up. X-Static Process as an introspective piece works because it isn't her norm - it's very Plain White T's, very guy singing Wonderwall at a party, but when Madonna does it? It's more than fine! | | 4 | | Madonna
American Life
Sensible taste and 'a good time' clash on the title track, an absolute gut-buster that I'd like to hope I'm laughing with and not at. Very wet and cronkly synth stabs lacerate the senses, Madonna waxes poetic about the nature of celebrity and stardom, a guitar line plays out of the right speaker, a clip of Madge saying fuck it is repeated 4 times before she channels her innie Debbie Harry for the whitest, millionaire-est, most unprompted rap verse I think has ever existed. | | 5 | | madonna
American Life
Also in common with Music - the first trio of songs trick you into thinking it's going to be a good album. The fall off here is like walking off a cliff though - Love Profusion is drywall, Nobody Knows Me is ugly (i hear a club song buried in this but goodness it just does not come together), Intervention sounds like Love Profusion, Mother and Father is an ode to her parents that she's done a lot better on previous albums.. Die Another Day though, I think that's underrated. I think Die Another Day and I'm So Stupid should've been the blueprint. Give me unpredictable glitched out robotic Madonna, give me autotuned dance-floor clusterfuck Madge.
Anyway yeah it's mid.
Check: American Life (and that music video she 100% should've released), I'm So Stupid, Die Another Day
2.7/5 | | 6 |  | Madonna
Hard Candy
11/14
Hard Candy is the last time Madonna is tuned in to the times. She's a little late, arriving at the Neptunes' party in 2008, but this collaboration results in a pretty solid time. Does it date itself almost immediately? Yeah, kind of. But 4 Minutes with its layered horns and Give It 2 Me with it's stuttered synths and constant beat provide a good opening for another dancefloor Madonna record. But the Neptunes' strengths are also their weaknesses. If the hook isn't there and the beat don't hit right you're often left with those tinny synths and the same shuffling beat found on the rest of the album. It's a 60/40 chance in favor of the bad, unfortunately. There are also some songs here that should be a minute or two shorter and none of those are good bar Incredible, which is definitely personal preference.
3/5 | | 7 |  | Madonna
Madame X
10/14
God, this is somehow the best thing she's done since Confessions. There's some bloat and filler about as MDNA and Rebel Heart has, but One - there's less of it, and Two - even the bloat sounds more adventurous here. Madame X finds Madge taking inspiration from her time in Portugal, and it shows. She's got two main modes as Madame X - reheating trap nachos OR taking from latin pop and blending it with more contemporary club and house sounds.
60 year old Madonna doing trap with Quavo and Swae Lee is fucking weird, but you know what? It's the most interesting thing she's done on a record in the past twenty years. Deadass. It's not great. The one with Quavo sucks. But at least she's trying something. Madonna was at her peak when she was just ahead of the curve and she verifiably fell behind it for MDNA and Rebel Heart, so it's cool to see her try to get back on the horse. | | 8 | | Madonna
Madame X
What makes this OK to me is most of the record is more interested in doing kooky shit or experimenting with latin tropes. What the hell is going on with Dark Ballet? Why does God Control work as prog-pop a la 20/20 Experience? Do people realize how good Faz Gostasto into Bitch I'm Loca is? It's not pristine - Killers Who Are Partying is 'sorry for being rich and not solving world hunger' Madge at her worst. Come Alive sounds like bad 2010s uplifting indie pop. But...Those are kind of my only real gripes. This is a good album. Madame X proves she's still got the spark.
Check: God Control, I Don't Search I Find, Faz Gostoso, Bitch I'm Loca
3.2/5 | | 9 |  | Madonna
Music
9/14
A new millennium brings for Madonna a new sound. As mentioned, Music is coded indietronica - specifically, electroclash. This one grew on me - most of the record is fun and catchy, just one groovy tune after another. The first three tracks are stellar, massive sounding dance tracks that hit perfectly. After this the quality dips to 'ok' - I feel like the ballads and slower tunes break up the vibe in a mostly bad way. I Deserve It + the closing two tracks are just fine and Nobodys' Perfect is a teaser for the worst parts of American Life. The one that rises against the tide is What It Feels Like For A Girl, a lyrical highlight for the album.
3.2/5 | | 10 |  | Madonna
Like A Virgin
8/14
MAAAASSSIVE singles. I imagine Like A Virgin was made to release while she was still in the floodlights of fame, because the songs that work on here, they work. Material Girl and Like A Virgin are clear standouts that let the world know what Madonna's all about. We ARE living in a material world, aren't we? Might as well live it up. Scandalous and controversial as they come for the time, sex sells with tunes like a Like A Virgin and Dress You Up. Outside of the singles... They're just fine. For all it's worth this is probably Madonna's most Single-focused record until like, American Life. The final third of the album in particular feels very by-the-numbers, as funky as it all is.
3.5/5 | | 11 |  | Madonna
Confessions on a Dancefloor
7/14
Love the concept. This is Madonna's last real hurrah, a solid dance pop outing with a single that stormed in reminding the culture of just who the original queen of the dance floor is. The whole album flows together as one cohesive piece, and in true post millennium Madge fashion it's front loaded with the best tracks. While the whole thing was made for the clerb, 1 - 5 are the best bang for your buck. It's hard to find a weak link - this chain is sturdy, strong. The good kind of one-note. Solid vibe.
3.5/5 | | 12 |  | Madonna
Madonna
6/14
Whatever I say in a couple of paragraphs couldn't do this record justice. Madonna burst onto the scene with this record and in the years that followed more than half of the tracks found here are ingrained in those who grew up in the time period. Rising from the ashes of disco, Madonna's brand of funky synth-pop took center stage for good reason. Every song here has the potential to make you move - bob your head, sway those hips, even a wallflower should find their feet tapping.
This is her ethos. Even if it gets muddled on her later works, there's this urge to work your body throughout her body of work. If you'll allow me to mimic a style of comment... | | 13 | | Madonna
Madonna
I can imagine Madonna herself saying "If you find yourself on the Borderline, just Think Of Me and step out onto that dance floor. It's there that Everybody has a chance to find their Lucky Star, I Know It! Whether you need to free your mind on Holiday, or you're Burning Up with Physical Attraction, there's nothing more freeing than dancing through the night to Madonna (1983) in stores now."
4/5 | | 14 |  | Madonna
True Blue
5/14
Much fuller and well rounded than her sophomore release, Madonna sees herself taking on lyrics that paint her a storyteller in addition to cover girl and queen of the dance floor. Papa Don't Preach opens the album with a story about teenage pregnancy, a message that got the public riled up (and led to her first spat with the Pope. You go girl!). The rest of the album does a really good job setting up scenes - La Isla Bonita paints Madonna on a warm, beautiful island in the Caribbean. True Blue and Jimmy Jimmy invoke the diner doo-wop of the late 50's / early 60's. White Heat sees her sampling James Cagney for a image of tough love - a heart not meant to be given, a passion on Madonna's terms. | | 15 | | Madonna
True Blue
Tracks like Open Your Heart and Where's The Party are peak 80's, the former a highlight - an ecstatic explosion of pop goodness and genuine joy, with an equally excitable music video to match its vibe. If Like A Virgin felt rushed, this feels just the opposite. The right amount of time was taken on True Blue, and while a few of these tracks are more dated than others (I'm looking at that closing pair, mostly) this is a great precursor to what I'd call a four album run of excellency.
4/5 | | 16 |  | Madonna
Bedtime Stories
4/14
Bedtime Stories lets you know its whole deal in the first thirty seconds - a looped guitar sample leading way to 'i'll never be an angel, i'll never be a saint, it's true.' Hot on the heels of the sexually charged Erotica, Madonna lets dance-floor house beats take a back seat. Instead, this record focuses on an often sublime take on trip-hop and R&B. She's still flirty and vivacious as ever, though - Inside of Me and I'd Rather Be Your Lover are sensual and teasing respectively, laid-back in their delivery.
If Erotica was Madonna sweating it out, Bedtime Stories is Madonna chilling out in her pad. She's really leaning into R&B here and she makes it work - the forlorn Love Tried To Welcome Me, the breathy nature of tracks like Inside of Me and Sanctuary... It shows a kind of maturity that critics were more welcome to embrace than the confident pleasure on Erotica. | | 17 | | Madonna
Bedtime Stories
There's still confidence and edge here, don't get it twisted. Directly in the middle of this record is Human Nature, an explicit call out to critics of the sexually free celebrity that's brought together to by a biting hook (And I'm not sorry...I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me) and this really buzzy synth that feels extra menacing with all the gavel bangs and whispering Madges (express yourself, don't repress yourself...).
The title track is euphoric, too. Bjork lovingly shares her nachos with Madonna here, and it's obvious but it works. Bedtime Story is a rager about losing yourself to a flow state. No words, no logic. Just do. In that sense, the unconsciousness referenced feels like it could be anything - drugs or sex, a meditative state or a mind-bending trip. Or just as well, a dream. | | 18 | | Madonna
Bedtime Stories
This is a Madonna that, for all her recent criticisms at the time, still presented a solid project with vision and ambition. On reflection it stands tall as a bridge between the dirty house of Erotica and the crystalline glow of Ray Of Light.
Check: Secret, I'd Rather Be Your Lover, Human Nature, Bedtime Story, Take A Bow
4.1/5 | | 19 |  | Madonna
Ray Of Light
3/14
i'm going to post a review for this soon
Check: Drowned World/Substitute For Love, Ray Of Light, Skin, Nothing Really Matters, The Power Of Good-Bye, Mer Girl
4.2/5 | | 20 |  | Madonna
Like A Prayer
2/14
i just posted a review for this
Check: Like A Prayer, Express Yourself, Oh Father, Til Death Do Us Part, Cherish
4.5/5 | | 21 |  | Madonna
Erotica
1/14
Woah.
I remember the first time I heard this, popping it in on a two hour drive, not really expecting that much, only really familiar with more well-known singles and Ray of Light. I did not expect something so charged up in every way. Emotionally, politically and sexually, Erotica is something I haven't heard or seen any mainstream pop-star do with such a slickness. This is a record about passion, messy relationships, queerness, hedonism, depression, and fucking/dancing. | | 22 | | Madonna
Erotica
It's house glazed in early examples of trip-hop, new jack swing with a disco tinge. This whole record was made for a dimly lit club where you're having the night you've been looking forward to all week. Erotica also starts and just does not let up. If this record was just its first ten tracks it would be a 5/5 and the fact that i have it at 4.7 anyways should say a lot. We go from Where Life Begins, which is just straight up an ode to cunnilingus (I know this is not a dining room conversation...Let me remind you, if you don't already know / dining out can happen down below) to Bad Girl, an overcast scene of a woman whose impulses are breaking a love in two. From there it's Waiting, a slick and jazzy spoken word yearning for a wishy-washy lover to Thief Of Hearts, a high camp upbeat track about a homewrecker with an amusing array of sound effects to set the scene (Which leg do you want me to break? Stop bitch! [Glass bottle breaks]. | | 23 | | Madonna
Erotica
For how consistent it sounds, Erotica reaches out in every direction it can for inspiration. Bye Bye Baby into Deeper and Deeper are the funkiest pair of tracks, there's more spoken word with trip-hop as she retreats into her own Eden on Secret Garden, In This Life is a very touching acknowledgement of her place in queer culture, especially as someone whose career spanned the entirety of the AIDS epidemic and Rain is a triumphant power ballad that is up there for one of Madonna's best tracks. The only dud on Erotica is the one found on the 'parental advisory' version (which, like, how else can you listen to this). Did You Do It? is a freestyle rap Madonna found amusing enough to include, taking its instrumental from Waiting, the lyrics a sort-of response to Waiting's call. Depending on the mood I will skip this one entirely. | | 24 | | Madonna
Erotica
That aside, Erotica is Madonna's most consistent and entertaining record. I see people say it's too long a project but with the house vibe it's going for, that just adds to my enjoyment. It's also her at her most human, and I know controversy is part of the package, but I can't feel a tinge of sadness when i think about how this is pigeonholed as the 'SEXOOOO' release. In the cultural zeitgeist this will always be just a tad overlooked in favor of her 80s work and Ray of Light in particular. That's unfortunate because Erotica is such an honest and emotionally complex beast, brimming with passion and compassion, love and lust, melancholy and excitement... And it somehow flows for nearly its entire runtime. That is a genuine feat. I don't think pop stars will ever get better than Erotica.
Check: Rain, Where Life Begins, Erotica, Fever, Bad Girl honestly any of the first 10 songs
4.7/5 | |
Ladron93
04.18.25 | Love True Blue. ^^ At times, I go back to listen to it. | Butkuiss
04.18.25 | Agree with Erotica being unfairly maligned, but Confessions and her debut are waaaay too low here. Swap with Like a Prayer and Bedtime Stories (both of which I found to be uninteresting and overrated) | markjamie
04.18.25 | Ray of Light, Like a Prayer and the debut are my three favourites. Erotica is middle for me due to inconsistency and bloat, but Deeper and Deeper is one of the best songs she ever recorded. | RVAHC13
04.18.25 | Ray of Light is her best imo. Her voice and delivery mesh really well with William Orbit’s production and it all comes together to make something I thought was really cool and unique. I’d even say it’s one of the albums that got me into techno music as a kid. Erotica is a very close second. | gryndstone
04.19.25 | I had a hard time deciding between those top three. Ray of Light definitely stands out in terms of sound, William orbit did great there + have been diving in to his body of work and love the mood he can get across | RVAHC13
04.19.25 | He’s done some really great work with several artists like Beth Orton, Blur, U2, Robbie Williams etc., plus his solo work is also good. I find the Strange Cargo releases very enjoyable. | gryndstone
04.19.25 | Mm, I listened to hinterland last week. very pleasing!! And i'm glad to hear he's worked with beth orton bc i just picked up a disc of hers and love her voice and style too |
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