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User
Reviews 4
Approval 87%
Soundoffs 11
Album Ratings 1349
Objectivity 68%
Last Active 01-20-22 12:57 pm
Joined 01-29-19
Review Comments 1,846
| 5's rated (cuz I don't get decimals)
Figured I'd try to put my 5's in order of the fiviest to least fiviest. | | 24 |  | Angelo Badalamenti
Twin Peaks
HONORABLE MENTION: I don't really think of this as an album and it is greatly informed by the show being brilliant. But no matter what, those few notes Angelo plays always tug my heart strings so much. For a soundtrack and show that mostly made fun of soap opera tropes, they created the most cheesily manipulative soundtrack that I've ever heard and I love Angelo and David for it. Bless them, whereever they now are. | | 23 |  | Nuclear Assault
Game Over
Probably the first one I'd cut from my fives if I'd have to, but I've not yet come around to that. As an example of old school thrash metal, this is the best (when the EP is attached because IT HAS THE FUCKING TITLE TRACK OF THIS WHO THOUGHT THAT UP?). Good butt energy. | | 22 |  | Mr. Bungle
Mr. Bungle
Oh god, I think I respect this album more these days than I listen to it. The highs are so good, but there's a lot of pointless chaff too between songs that try my patience. Still, I come back to bits of it simply because there's so many fun fusion ideas on this that I love to repeat with my own bands in jam sessions. | | 21 |  | Lightning Bolt
Earthly Delights
This... probably isn't a 5, but Lightning Bolt is a 5 band, no doubt. So I have to pick a favorite and this one has Colossus and Transmissionary and Sound Guardians. But Lightning Bolt is all about their overall energy and almost childish glee with which they wreck eardrums. The band deserves a five, so this gets it. | | 20 |  | Godflesh
Godflesh
Probably the least substance of any of my fives, but I don't care. This is so utterly raw and that first groove of Avalanche Master Song has forever enslaved my attention (and boo-tay). They would greatly top this with their sophomore effort, but this is still the best show of their early no-wave vibe. | | 19 |  | Emperor
In the Nightside Eclipse
I don't think I've listened to this in... four years? But I'd never have the heart to drop it. Some memories with I Am or Inno A Satana or the absolutely majestic opener on this are too good. Y'know, once this list is done, I'll jam it again. It rained snow this night, after all. | | 18 |  | Atheist
Piece Of Time
Y'know, maybe this isn't even a five? But there are moments where the sheer raw energy of this draws me in more than their later, jazzier albums. It's the most Venom that Atheist has ever been and sometimes, it's a really good fucking thing. | | 17 |  | Mercyful Fate
Melissa
Oh my god the riffs, THE RIFFS! But beyond that, this is such a fucking fun listen. Symphonic metal bands should take a note from Mercyful Fate - this is how you give that cheesy, phantom-of-the-opera-ish atmosphere. | | 16 |  | Big Black
Atomizer
Kerosene makes this a 5. No question about it. That said, it's not like the rest of this is bad or anything. Jordan, Passing, Stinking - these are all top tier noise rock songs. And of course, the guitar tone. Who'd a thunk it that scraping power cables with rebar would sound so good. | | 15 |  | Atheist
Unquestionable Presence
Mm yes, now this is where it's at. Funky salsa - or is it blood? Who cares. Mother Man is one fucking way to open an album. All those dullard deathheads back in the early 90s must've been pissed when they bought this and put the album on and I love it. Not that contrarianism and shock is all this has for it - it's all energy, riffs, rhythm. | | 14 |  | Naked City
Grand Guignol
Yeah, I like this more than the debut. Don't ättt me. Those bite sized freakouts are just so much fucking fun. It's crazy how it fills the whole album without dragging at a single point. | | 13 |  | PainKiller
Execution Ground
Ambient jazzcore came and went and it was good. Like a horror movie soundtrack, this just fills you with dread but you can't look (hear?) away. | | 12 |  | Swans
Swans Are Dead
Not even the best live recording of Swans, that'd be the '97 Brussels one. But since that hasn't have a official release, this will do. The way they stretch some songs like like I Crawled, Helpless Child and the best example, Blood Promise, is just something else. While modern Swans sits just on the edge of indulgence, this is the best show of what magic they can truly conjure up at the top of their game. | | 11 |  | God
Possession
A hugely underappreciated band and album. And of course if it's jazzcore, John Zorn is involved. It's actually a bit of a supergroup, with him, Kevin Martin and Justin Broadrick. Hugely intense jazz-sludge-hip-hop bangers all the way through. | | 10 |  | Sleep
Sleep's Holy Mountain
Oh look, Master Of Reality's cool kid bro is here! This is like the only album on the list I feel confident in spinning in pretty much any company. People are won over so quickly by that sludgy, groovy blues riffage even no matter what they usually listen to. Seriously, give it a try with people. By the time the slower, draggier part 2 of the album comes up, everyone's riding the stoner caravan already. | | 9 |  | Coroner
Mental Vortex
The Kings of Thrash. I don't think this is even as "prog" as some might suggest, Mental Vortex actually is just an Intercontinental Ballistic Riff Delivery System. They just do it perfectly. Shoutout to Grin, which is basically the same really. | | 8 |  | NoMeansNo
Wrong
Sometimes knowing how to play your instrument can help in punk and NoMeansNo is a top example of that. In that fun, experimental punk style of Minutemen or Deep Turtle, NoMeansNo stands tallest. | | 7 |  | Boris
Boris At Last -Feedbacker-
The top tier of Boris' noise stuff for me. It is extremely focused in a way other Boris noisegaze stuff isn't. And the atmosphere on this is top notch. Someone said that Boris isn't sex music, but this album defo begs to differ. | | 6 |  | Helmet
Meantime
Yes, inject that rhythm section into my veins! The massive, skyscraper heavy grooves on this album, nothing compares. Although the jazzy, atonal guitar solos on this have great synergy (*retch*) with the grooves, it's the riffage, the ghost snare hits, the staccatos, all that carries the album so hard. Makes you want to hit your head against concrete. | | 5 |  | Black Sabbath
Master Of Reality
SLUDGE. This is what this album is. Three of the most talented musicians out there deciding to put their talents together to introduce then dankiest-stankiest genre of music to the masses and what a fucking show they put on. Also Ozzy was there. | | 4 |  | The Cure
Disintegration
Where Hum's romance is cool, Cure's is just sweet. For some perhaps too saccharine, but listening to this makes me want to give ol' Bob Smith a big hug. I have to admit, I rarely listen to this one from start to end, as it's a long and monolithic experience, but when I do... oh boy. | | 3 |  | Einsturzende Neubauten
Halber Mensch
Another one of those "how did they manage to make this" moments. Like, it boggles the mind when thinking of the creative process behind this. They can't have had the vision for this clear from the start, right? Yu-Güng, ZNS, Seele Brennt... they're all horrifying, spine-contorting listening experiences that... just make you come back and ask for seconds. Helps to have the coolest album cover out there.
Also, SPUT NEEDS TO INTEGRATE UMLAUTS FOR FUCKS SAKE. | | 2 |  | Hum
You'd Prefer an Astronaut
Picking number 2 was really tough and it came down to a sort of recency bias for me. I started this one off as a wee 3.5 but it's a complete grower and right now, I can't help but listen to it every day and play along on the guitar. The rock-crushingly heavygaze romance of this album is just so cool in that slacker 90s way and I don't care if it makes me a grampa. | | 1 |  | Godflesh
Streetcleaner
I think this will remain the undisputed no1 for a long time. It's still completely unique and crazy inspirational. An atmosphere that will never be recreated (which might be a good thing frankly). The hip-hop beats mixed with iceberg-sounding bass guitar and some of the most brazenly inventive yet simple guitar work, it's all something special to me. Godflesh is a completely S-tier band even without this album, but this is way beyond everything else they've done. | |
Demon of the Fall
03.19.25 | Nice list. No decimals is a tragedy for sure.
I definitely need a shower after reading this tho, it just has that filthy aura | tectactoe
03.19.25 | Interesting Swans choice, I dig/respect it tho. | Hawks
03.19.25 | Very nice list. | Egarran
03.19.25 | Sweet list. Always wanted to get hooked by 5 and 1, they were often namedropped in the fringes of 90's alt metal.
It's funny about Hum, I never saw them mentioned before joining Sputnik. I guess they didn't fit a European mindset/market? | Demon of the Fall
03.19.25 | yeah that’s definitely it Ega 🤨 | gabba
03.19.25 | Needless to say, amazing list, and unlike Demon, it just makes me wanna get filthier. And guess what, I just bookmarked 21 earlier today, is this a sign of something special starting? Finally, I kinda expected Goat or Liar to be here, surprised they didn’t make it, but then again, I don’t have them 5’d either. | Icebloom
03.19.25 | That live version of Blood Promise is amazing yeah
Well, we are done and we'd like to thank you for being here - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
| Icebloom
03.19.25 | Oh and justice for the umlauts | Demon of the Fall
03.19.25 | Goat would improve the list / I don’t have it 5d either (2) | Egarran
03.19.25 | They should definitely have called the band Mr. Büngle. | Asdfp277
03.19.25 | ur madeline khan avi 😍 | kkarron
03.20.25 | Goat and Liar are both so good, but have just a little too much filler to 5 them. If they mixed together into one frankenalbum, it'd be a top 10 album for sure. | kkarron
03.20.25 | Fistbumps all around! And yeah, Gabba, you gotta check Lightning Bolt. Their 2014 Dead Cowboy live gig on YT is always a great start. | kkarron
03.20.25 | lol @ Maddy Khan | Demon of the Fall
03.20.25 | yeah kinda agree with that TJL take but it just seems like it would fit here
I go back and forth on which I prefer. They have a potential Demon 4.5 in them, yet maybe not a 5 |
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